Ramjet Films presents "Re-Birth"

Well, I've done it now. I finished the next draft a little while ago, which was supposed to be a polish draft (just tighten up the dialog, add a little tension, etc, etc). When I was done, I printed it out and it grew from a comfortable 8 pages to an uncomfortable 11 pages
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The worst part is, after letting it sit unread for a couple hours, I just picked it up and read it...and I like all of it :crybaby: Now, what am I supposed to do? Jason's not going to be happy when he finds out
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Well. 11 definitely scares me. Unfortunately I haven't been able to access the script to read it yet.
Doh! I will have some comments soon, hopefuly

Jason
 
Well, don't be scared. I already have ideas on how to trim it down, but I need to get your thoughts/ideas/notes on the new/changed elements before I implement any changes.

The FTP server should be working again now...let me know if you have any more trouble.
 
welp. Check that. I just tried again and it worked. I guess there was a temporary downage on larry's ftp.

I'll let you know soon!
 
Ok. Here it is. Read it. It is 10 pages, plus a few lines on the 11th.
But here is the deal. I think a page of that is added v.o. that is occuring over pre-existing action, and some parts of scenes that replaced something else, but is more descriptive in nature. But the pacing of it, and the tension seemed much better. I felt like we got into the story quickly this time. I felt like by the time we were hitting the climax things were just clipping along. The tension was building, and he added some nice moments that helped to clarify.

By the time we hit the climax, he followed that up with a nice moment of suspense and quickly into a much clearer denoument(I think I spelled that wrong)

Anyways, I saw some places along the way this time that were redundant or unessecary. We were seeing things happen that didn't have bearing on the main action. I think trim out a bit of the repetitive dialogue, make it more precise, and let go of the fat in the action, and we are right back where we were time wise, and possibly a bit better. And with a better story, at that!
It was a great draft. I was worried, but I think we are pretty much there. I would like for Larry to just make some of those trims and get it really tight, but other than that, the work with the story is at a place that I can comfortably call it done, and ready to move beyond the writing phase.

It's always hard to let go and move to the next phase in the arts, but eventually you have to. And this was a great revision. Thanks, Larry!
Jason
 
Ok. I just read draft 6.

It's great. There are only a few minor cuts I suggested on lines. It is 9 now. Should be 8 and a half after those cuts are incorporated. Which will put us right back where we were timewise. Maybe even a little better.
Larry. You rock!

Jason
 
Sweet. Well, just give me a few minutes, I'm sure I can mess it up real good so you aren't so happy :evil:

Seriously, glad to hear you are happy with it. It's been a lot of fun working on it with you. I'm really anxious to see the finished film. :thumbsup:
 
You too, Larry!

We'll have draft 7, which is just a few minor "fixes". Cuts really. Then that is gonna be the final. We'll have a working final draft, and I have to go to the next step after that. Ahhh! Unless..... Larry, I need to pm you about a major revision :) Just kidding.

Jason
 
And on the 7th draft he rested.... :)

It's interesting actually. There is a 7 in the script. This is the seventh draft. My daughter was born on the 7th. 7 is my lucky number. Must be an omen :)

Larry has done marvelous work, and it has been nothing but a joy working with him on this process :thumbsup:

Jason
 
Thanks, guys.

An offtopic update about something that is exciting for the family:
The wife got her appointment to go get her biometrics done. We have to be in Birmingham at 8am on Wednesday.

What this means is, she is close to getting her work permit, and things are moving along as scheduled. We will still be looking for a long wait for the Permanant Residency status, but at least she will be able to legally work in this country, and we should be able to use her work permit as a temporary green card. Meaning that she can get back into school and pay in-state tuition, rather than the outrageous fees she was paying before. Once we can afford that, she can go back and finish up her Master's Degree.

This is all very exciting to us, so I just wanted to pass it along. She's got an accounting degree already, so she can get a decent job if she chooses to work full-time. Or if she wants to work part-time anywhere, and stay with the baby. The great thing is the freedom. The options. My wife will be able to work within the next month or two!

Jason
 
Congratulations :thumbsup:

Hey, does that mean she can get a job making enough that you can quit your job and make movies all day? :grin:
 
Larry R said:
Congratulations :thumbsup:

Hey, does that mean she can get a job making enough that you can quit your job and make movies all day? :grin:
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Hopefuly :) But really it will just be nice to have another income. We haven't been able to survive off of my crap income, and with trying to get the new business going. We've just got too much debt, owe more than we make every month, paying lawyer for immigration, etc., blah, blah. But things will be better one day. And she will be happy to be able to work. So that is what is important. Lord knows she's the educated one in the family :)

Jason
 
I feel like I am suffering post-partum depression. I keep moving my mouse to open my script editor so I can work on the next draft of RE-BIRTH, only to remember that I'm done. What a weird feeling :)
 
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