Noa/Rice Digital & Narrow Road Entertainment Presents: "Broken Shadows"

Great stuff Brandon! Love the poster and the synopsis. Story must be really deep and sounds like something that could be a feature as well, very interested to see how you put this into a 6minute short :)
 
VersuS said:
Great stuff Brandon! Love the poster and the synopsis. Story must be really deep and sounds like something that could be a feature as well,
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Well, the original story idea was something I had intended to make into a feature. But it got pushed to the backburner and nothing has been done with it. I felt I could pull a nice, 6 minute core story out of the longer idea...I hope I was right about that :)

very interested to see how you put this into a 6minute short :)
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I'm sure Brandon is interested to see how I put this into a 6 min. short, as well :) Actually, now that I think about it...I'm interested to see how I put this into a 6 min. short :)

jeremytuttle said:
That is a great tagline, makes me want to come up with something better for my poster
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Thanks, for me taglines, loglines, and synopsis' are harder to come up with than the actual script. So I try to make myself work them out first, before working on the script. Primarily because it forces me to flesh out what the core story element/theme is which, hopefully, will drive the script to follow that theme.

Glad you liked it...hope you like the story too :)
 
Larry R said:
Thanks, for me taglines, loglines, and synopsis' are harder to come up with than the actual script. So I try to make myself work them out first, before working on the script. Primarily because it forces me to flesh out what the core story element/theme is which, hopefully, will drive the script to follow that theme.

Glad you liked it...hope you like the story too :)
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Me too, I pound my head trying to some up a story in a slick, thought provoking synopsis and tagline. Usually it ends up no better then, "its about this person that does some stuff and then it gets crazy". I like your method, I think I'll try that next time.
 
Just finished draft 1 and sent it off to Brandon. Not sure what I think of it yet (it usually takes a day or two before I can objectively critique my own stuff). Hopefully B-Dawg will like it, but we'll have to wait and see.

Now, I better get started on the outline for Jason's script...gotta get something to him tomorrow (when it rains it pours...anyone else want a script?) :)


Forgot to mention...only 4 pages
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, so definitely room to grow. Also, only two locations and 4 actors (a zero-budget director's dream :) ... if you don't count the extras it calls for)
 
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Ok, just read it...I don't know if I like it. :undecided Hopefully it's just too soon for me to be reading it...come on Brandon, my insecurities need a little re-assurance that I'm at least on the right track.


In reading it again (I know, I shouldn't be doing this to myself), I think I may have been TOO conscious of the time limit. Perhaps I cover too much ground in too little time. Fortunately, I am only at 4 pages now so I'll be able to increase it quite a bit.
 
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Well, I didn't get the "Woah" or "I really like/love this" that I was getting with CHECKMATE, so I think my instincts were right. This isn't there yet.

Welp, back to the drawing board...at least there is something on the drawing board to work with now.
 
Larry R said:
Forgot to mention...only 4 pages
emote_woo.gif
, so definitely room to grow. Also, only two locations and 4 actors (a zero-budget director's dream :) ... if you don't count the extras it calls for)
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I was actually thinking while reading... I could shoot this thing in like 6 hours, lol :) Nice work on the time contraints!
 
Ok, got a second draft to Brandon last night. This one was 6 pages and I think is closer to where we want to go, but I'm still not happy with it yet. We're getting there, though (I think).

This morning I'll be working on Jason's script, hope to get a nice draft to him by mid-day, then I'll return to BROKEN SHADOWS while I wait for Jason's notes :) This should prove to be pretty interesting, switching from one story to the next, might be what the mind needs to get fresh perspective on one project while working on the "other" project.
 
Just don't mix up the stories Larry:) Next thing you know Brandon will be making my movie and it'll be called Re-mating Shadows, and I'll be making one called Broken Birth :thumbsup:

Jason
 
Just to update... we're working on draft 3 at the moment... should be done tomorrow... I'll be busy in production of a film for the next couple days, but then can get back to working on this next week... we've asked several other people to have roles in the film... waiting on that as well.
 
The last couple days my muse has been in a coma or something :Drogar-BlackEye(DBG The couple drafts I have done for BROKEN SHADOWS so far have been mediocre at best. I think I found the story ok, but I'm not telling it well enough. It is still lacking some great visual elements.

Yesterday afternoon, however, I forced myself to work on draft 1 of RE-BIRTH. The beginning was very hard, but after a few pages I started getting into a flow, I think the muse was waking. So, hopefully today I can find those visuals and get a strong draft of BROKEN SHADOWS done.

The real challenge is that I know the story I want to tell, and I have a lot of ideas on how I want to tell it, but the six-minute time limit affects how I do that...and I'm glad. I like being forced to tell a complete story in such a small amount of time, because it teaches me to not waste time on a longer project. Just because a feature has 100-120 minutes of screentime doesn't mean I can be lazy with the storytelling, instead it should have 100-120 awesome minutes of visual storytelling, peppered with accenting dialog.

Anyway, that's the update for this morning. The plan is to have a solid draft done before the end of the day.
 
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