"Developed" - a hopeful!

You just said some of the best things I could ever ask to hear. This was indeed my first serious short, and let me tell you it's been quite the learning experience. The VO did sort of become redundant. I thought that to myself as well, but only after it was submitted. Thank you for saying you see peaks of someone talented, that meant quite a lot. -- Especially from someone who seriously anhiliated the competition with their film (halfway) -- Thank you for the view, the review, and the compliment. Your film was brilliantly horrific.
 
Kyle,

Nice film. Interesting story. It was interesting because it wasn't the typical movie that I've been watching (Although, the girls name was 'Sarah' and I guess that's being identified as a cliche' by others. ha). The film wasn't 'scary' for me, and I'm sure that was not your intent. It was creepy, however, especially when the girl just let's him slit her throat. Was she in a trance or something? Maybe in shock? Anyway, great job! I've posted some additional notes below:


movietime: 00:00:52:04 - Good opening. Nice closeups.

movietime: 00:02:25:16 - Like the camera movement and fountain. Probably my favorite shot of the movie. Adds a lot.

movietime: 00:03:40:15 - like the handheld and focus adjustments. The voice over is a little monotenous. Good writing though.

movietime: 00:04:05:05 - Like the framing of the guy in the door and the clothing blowing in the wind.

movietime: 00:05:17:05 - Interesting use of slow motion and music combined.
 
Developed is another favorite of mine here. I'm not sure I can
add anymore to what kholi has posted in terms of critique, so I'm
posting my reactions instead.

I really felt I was in another world here and that the American Psycho
esque character worked very well. Three scenes that stood out among the
rest were the 'coffee shop window,' 'pictures by the fountain,' and
the 'voyeur kitchen.' These definetly had great cinematic impact with me.

Overall... despite a few short comings, this has great potential
beyond horrorfest. Longevity is the ultimate rule I live by!

Make some revisions and you're golden!
 
Behind the Scenes!!

Behind the Scenes!!

BEHIND THE SCENES PHOTO


n17205767_31394052_6794.jpg

Ah, doesn't this make you feel warm and fuzzy about making movies?
 
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thekyleman71 said:
... Especially from someone who seriously anhiliated the competition with their film (halfway).
Click to expand...


that could be the single best comment I've recieved this whole fest. wow. You really rate it that high? amazing. All I can do is say thanks.... oh and ask you to post that on my thread....lol :)

those BTS photos are cool - thats what it's all about. get it done anyway you can!
 
Upon reviewing this short again, I can honestly say kyleman has
a career ahead of him here. I know everyone is googoogaga over JDS
right now but, I think kyle has created something beyond what JDS
has. No offense to JDS but, as a filmaker, I think kyle has surpassed
him with emotion, soul, grace, exquisite writing, thoughtfulness, mood
etc. You name it, I'll argue it.

Developed does not carry that overly sought after Hollywood produced
look everyone seems so addicted too like crack. The visuals envoked
the atmosphere of a mild, breezy summer day which is in stark contrast
to everything I've seen up till now. This short has that independent
tenor that is elusive amongst every film here.

I believe that Developed can be expanded on and turned into a feature
film which I cannot say for any other short in horrorfest.

Sure the narration could use a few more takes but, that is completely
missing the point I'm trying to make here. Get this guy a contract,
full crew, and I swear to god you'll have a effin' great movie on
your hands.

It takes more than fancy lighting and an HVX to CREATE a film so
everyone better take notice!
 
Inexistence,

There is nothing I can say that will properly express my gratitude for your statement.

I do not deserve such praise, and I must say I did not expect such praise. I should be so humbled.

I watched your film, I became obsessed with your posters and design. I went to your website and after viewing your work I wanted to crawl into a hole (which is apparently your location) =) -- You immediately became not just a dvxuser icon to me, but a fellow artist... someone I can look up to, follow, learn from. Your film had a tastefulness and style that was so unlike anything I had ever seen. It truly brought me into another world, somewhere distant. The language, the imagery, the subtleness of it all was EXACTLY what this fest needed.

I have many questions for you, but for now let me say Thanks, even though it doesn't seem enough (even with the capital 'T')
I sleep peacefully...
-Kyle Stebbins
 
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avatuar said:
What's wrong with Hollywood polish? ;) Great job guys solid film!
Click to expand...

I would answer that here but, that could muckup the Developed thread. I might
start a seperate thread about what everyone values when interpreting/reviewing
horrorfest films.
 
I'd be really interested in that thread! and thanks for the respect on not wanting to muck this one up. I really appreciate it!
 
Kyle, man! LOVE the BTS shots!!! Cool to see how you did your dolly. I have GOT to make me one of those!!!

Some really nice things I'm reading here about your work! I couldn't agree more.

Great job. I am looking forward to our next project and keeping a line open between us.

Keep it up, man!

Ted
 
Whoa, Kyle... you've discovered something that I did not know... You actually made a link that directs you to the actual post!!! How did you figure out the post number???

I checked out the web address and see #post722876. That's brilliant! (or at least, it is very clever. I've been using the page number.)

So tell me, where did you get the post number???

Ted
 
This is a great film. It came out of nowhere for me because I had not followed this thread and nobody had pointed me to DEVELOPED. Here's my review:

1) Extremely strong opening. Absolutely riveting. People don't know how difficult it is to pull off the right amount of flutter for an opening featuring pictures/newspapers etc., but you got it down (or else got exceedingly lucky). The score is absolutely one of my favorites. Amazing in fact. Maybe my favorite part of this film because it adds just the right amount of power to the images.

2) My major criticism of the film is the sound quality of the voice-over. You've got some slap-back that makes it clear this was recorded in a small space and given the importance of the narrative VO, it suffers from a mediocre mic (to my ears) and a less than impressive voice talent. The script itself is spot-on, but just imagine a full-realized version of this VO with a powerful voice with a lot of bottom-end. Sheesh. Given that we don't hear the protagonist speak, you could have used someone else. I have a buddy who looks almost exactly like this character and he developed his voice and now is a radio announcer. I would love to see how this film plays exactly as it is, but with his voice and his microphone.

3) Gotta mention again the score rocks. Just rocks.

4) Wonderful camera moves and especially the dolly/truck move as he follows the girl/boyfriend out into the street.

5) Writing is very strong. It's all believable and well written although I am not usually a big fan of VO technique.

6) Nice shot framing with the long shot of both cars. Rack focus appeared a little ragged to me.

7) It's hard to do good hand-held but your camera person has it down. Wow, there's just some amazing camera work in this little gem.

8) At the end when you slow the pan/moves and generate some trails I assume this was all intended. However, I didn't find the effect worked well for me and would rather have seen a smear/doubling effect if you are going to go for this type of time-altered camera move. In fact, to me it looks like interlace artifacts and for that reason alone I would stay away from it or reprocess it to get rid of the horizontal lines.

9) Everything was so strong so I was a bit disappointed to see you go in for a throat slash without really making it work. With that big a knife and a double murder you are going to have to also add blood if you want to sell the viewer. In fact, speaking from my background in forensics I can tell you that you can't off these two people with that knife and not have some serious splatter in that small room. If you aren't going to go for realism with the blood/throat slash I would recommend shooting it as an etheral or suggestive sequence or cut to a wall that you throw a little blood on.

10) In all, this is an amazing little short. REALLY fabulous in almost every respect. My critique is all limited to small things that could be fixed quite easily. The script, camera work and cinematography are all there.

BRAVO!!!
 
Mark, thank you. I will take more time to comment on your review later, but for now just a couple things:

1) i was the cameraman... with a crew that small, i really kind of wanted to be. i knew what shots i wanted to go for, so it just made it easier.

2) the whole editing process (what... two days?) i was completely agonized by the VO everytime i pressed play -- i too noticed the slapback with the small room ambience. I HATED IT!! but i had little time, and used it just the same. -- thank you for understanding =)

3) Okay, the slow-motion. One of the most irritating things for me... I followed Barry's DVX book to a 'T'. I filmed in 60i (although w/ shutter off, which could be my problem) and then slowed my footage down in a 24pa timeline to 40% thus making it 24 fps. It made sense to me, it didn't look bad... but it still had the smeared/interlaced look that I hated. -- Although, as stubborn as I am, I wanted slow-mo. So i got slow-mo. But it was horribly interlaced.

all that aside, thanks for the review! your film was stunning in every way. I have lots to learn from you. Much appreciation!
-kyle stebbins
 
not sure about that last quote on your sig... certainly doesnt make me want to watch your film =) lol

i'm kidding. i enjoyed it! nude women on a round!!! ;)
 
I think this has been done before (story line) but hey it still works !

There is a lot of nice camera work here but some of the pan shots I didn't like .
The Vo could be better but then I doubt I could do any better myself.
You sure get this guy is Physco!!! . As for the girls death I didn't feel anything for her , not sure why . Maybe it was the way you left out the fear in her face , the struggle , I'm not really sure . The slicing of the throat was good !!!
I know it is hard to get a story and feelings across in 5 minutes BUT hey this was still good .
Ian
 
An overall good film. There were some terrific shots in there. But the voice over killed it for me. I went back and watched this with the sound turned off and it was 1000% better. The story was definitely told in the images and didn't need the V.O.

There were a few holes for me in the script, but maybe I just missed something.

Anyway, good job. Thanks for sharing.


John G.
 
Kyleman I just watched yours... taking my time getting through them all I HAVE NO TIME! Anyway I am not reading any threads until I view the short and I am glad I didnt. Truth be told a had little expectation. I must say you put together a very nice piece of work. Enjoyed it from start to finish.

I do have some critique for you from my personal perspective on it.

Some have been mentioned so I am not going to cover anything thats been said. The whip pans didnt work for me. I felt it didnt add anything and I was a little distracted by it. Maybe a reverse over the shoulder with a nice focus pull?

The other small thing was in the story. At the start it was a little mysterious, but when he said he was basically going to end her life, when it happened I was like OK. Not that it was a bad approach at all, but I just think there was opportunity for something more dramatic and thrilling in those final scenes.

Excellent!!!!!!!!!
 
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