MOSES - Short film on DVX

Bryan

Bryan

Well-known member
Greetings folks! Here's my latest directorial (actually co-directorial) effort: "MOSES." It's a crime drama, about a wandering homeless man who's mysterious past is about to come to light.

I've been working with my independent study class in electronic media production at CSU Fresno to complete this film since the end of January. It's the result of hard work from over 30 college students, that's including talent and crew. It was an awesome experience. Hope you enjoy, lemme know what you think.

Here's the link. It's quite hefty. Sorry 56Kers. If there's a demand I could provide a smaller file. ENJOY!

http://www.amfproductions.com/moses/moses_big.mov
(QT 6 or higher needed, 27 minutes, 166.06 mb, Size - 480x320)
Right click or option click and 'save target as' to download to your comp

Here's some screenshots:

moses_images.jpg
 
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Yes. Very good stuff there! I love the look you achieved. This was shot with the DVX, correct? Any "special" settings or CC on this project? Good luck with it.
 
Thanks for watching guys! I really appreciate it.

Yeah, we shot with the DVX100A in 24pn. No special settings, just the standard f5 scene file. We lit with a couple lowel tungsten kits and white balanced where necessary to achieve certain color-looks (dumpster scenes). But we did do a lot of CC in Final Cut Pro 5 using the "Color Corrector" filter; crushing blacks, adding tints and contrast, etc.
 
it was great bryan , bravo bravo , i was hoping the hwole time in the interrogation room that they find out he didnt do it ,i basically knew he didint. i se usaid u used f5 on the dvx instead of f6 why did u choose to use f5 instead f6 ????? and as far as lighting what was ur lighting set up in the interogation , room im thinkin gu had the regular reflector light and a soft source light a softbox pointed directly at the table by the look of the shadow on the wall am i correct ???? and the over head reflector just for show aka police interogation roo mstyle and ur man source light the soft box aimed
at the officer and mosses at the desk am i correct ????

peace n luv

Mark Dog
 
Hey, great stuff, I liked it a lot. A couple things to point out for next time however.

The sound mix seemed a bit low, might wanna boost that up a notch, as I had to crank my computer speakers up.

Day time Exteriors were beautiful, especially the flash back shots and the end at the grave yard.

Interiors all had good key and background light, but were lacking fill. Halo lights to pull their heads out of darkness would have really brought depth to the interegation scenes and the hospital room. They seemed a bit flat without.

I loved your cut aways, and diff angle shots. They were all greatly framed and interesting. Sometimes your establishing shots seemed very flat however. Most of them, the camera was perpendicular to the action.

Definitely a great job by all of you, hope to see what you guys do next.

Ps. the one detective... not up to that samuel l. jackson level yet. haha
 
Hey,
I liked it. The color correction work was good, the light seem to always work well
and acting was a set up then a lot of short films. Good job
 
Bryan,

I know this was a joint-directed effort but, MAN!, you've come a long way since the Jug movie and Superheroes. Both of which I loved.

Well done.

The exterior shots were pretty good and reminiscent of CSI:Miami...yeah, that's a good thing although I don't watch the show...Caruso...that's all I'll say.

I noticed you had a bit of lens flare at the beginning when he's walking down the stairs with the cig and for some reason as he crosses the street the shot from behind made the SUV seemed...squashed.

There were also a couple of CU shots on the lead that seemed as if he was out of focus a little and the background was sharp.

The exposition by the doctor/nurse? at the end seemed a bit...overdone.

Show. Don't tell.

Hey. I enjoyed it. It could use some tightening but I sat through it and was rewarded with shameless manipulation when he reunites with his family.

I have three daughters so anything with kids makes me tear up.
I'm just a sentimental fool. :Drogar-BigGrin(DBG)

Yeah. You've come a long way Bryan. I'm enjoying your journey. Keep on walking, brother.
There're more places to visit than are dreamt of in my philosophy...or something like that.

sincerely,

ian
 
i'm downloading the movie now, but the grabs look great! i especially like the first closeup and the dead guy on the ground, the colors are awesome.
 
This was a great, great film! Very good screenplay, good camera work, mostly good acting. I was deeply engaged from beginning to end. Great transitions too and cool use of fade to black. I think the best actors were the MC, girl victim's mom, and healthcare provider at the end. Now, for the critique:

- The sound could/should have been much better for work of this magnitude. I'm assume you did not use a boom mic, or else this would have been much better.
- Director Notes: (1) That sista at the playground should have had more attitude. It would have been stereotypical, but would have brought more pop to the scene. (2) Also, there was some weird disconnect in the scene at the wishing fountain, with the kid and mom's basic non-reaction to a man dipping his head in the water. First, the mom should have shown at least a slight sense of being weirded out. Kids are pretty accepting of most things adults find weird, but that girl looked old enough to have been a bit put off; her only reaction was to smile at him then ask her mom why there were coins in the fountain. Come on.
- Screenwriter Notes: (1) The MC disappears with evidence--the teddy bear and the main piece of evidence--the victim's body! Come on, and no mention of this in the dialogue? As a viewer, I can explain it to myself as maybe there was some connection later made. Maybe he was arrested outside his precinct/city, and the writing just didn't include some mention of "hey that missing body was found." Just a small note there though. (2) The public defender hadn't read the guy's file and didn't know he was a copy until the detective told her, but she knew he'd been gone for two years and that his wife thought he was dead and that he had a daughter. (3) The healthcare provider's only role was to "check him out" as the public defender said. Yet she knew his entire story AND acted like his therapist. It's always great to see empathic healthcare providers--but would not have been likely in the given situation.
- Set pieces note: The MC's kevlar vest says "Xtreme" on it. Since I'm guessing real cops get their vests from the PD or a police supply shop, I doubt they have emblems like that. Should have cut from the shot before that came into readable view.

I hope my critiques don't sound too harsh. I know I tend to sound somewhat bitter when I write sometimes, but it's not intended that way. Let's just call it showing the passion of my thoughts as I write them. Like I said at the beginning, this was a GREAT short! Keep at it dude.
 
some great shots here and there but had me skipping through the rest of it. They story didn't grab me enough. The interrogation room stuff was just not working out. Maybe it needed to be darker, needed some sweat, smoke, atmosphere. it didn't have any- or maybe a handheld feel- it just seemed to sit there and not show what was going on in the mind of the characters.
 
Hey! That was very moving. I liked it a lot. CSU Fresno! I recognized all the locations as I went there for a while. I live here in Fresno too! Send me a line sometime. I would love to help out.
 
This is cool.. I only watched half so far, but it's great. I wish every DVX movie was this good.
The leads were really good, I dug all the silent storytelling too. Nice! Now I'm gonna watch the rest and see how it turns out.
 
Thanks again to everyone for watching. I appreciate it.

I'll try to get to some of the questions tomorrow.
 
Nice film man, really enjoyed it. watch it through!

tho picked up on a 'continuety error' if i could called it that.
In the interrogation room, the cop recieves a second file from which he finds out that moses is a cop. Then the cop tells the lady that walks in he says the info of him being in a cop is in the file, and he passes the lady the first file he had, not the second one.

Am I wrong, watched that part twice....

Nice movie tho, excellent.
 
I thought this film was very well thought out and executed. Most comments I've read have been about only color correction, nitpicking a few focus problems, ect. but I have to comment on the story. Bravo! The actors really made it believable.

One thing I would like to have seen was a more weathered Moses when he was homeless, his haircut didn't really change after all that time since the accident.
 
Ian Slessor said:
Bryan,



Hey. I enjoyed it. It could use some tightening but I sat through it and was rewarded with shameless manipulation when he reunites with his family.

I have three daughters so anything with kids makes me tear up.
I'm just a sentimental fool. :Drogar-BigGrin(DBG)


ian
Click to expand...

Yea,
That ending got me too. Nice Job man! I liked this cast.

-Mark
 
Well, I liked it. :)

Now, there were a few things here and there that bothered me. First and foremost, it kind of seemed like the story just wasn't tight enough, and a lot of information was missing. Did the nurse/doctor find everything out from reading the file? And if so, then why were the police even interrogating him? It was just a little confusing at times.

Some great shots sprinkled in there, but there were others that just lacked some punch. Overall, it was good visually.

Pretty good sound work. Some of the voice work got a little snappy/rough, but that's probably due to compression.

Basically, I'm just going over things that have been said before, so I'll quit. It was a good short despite some minor short comings. I liked it.
 
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