Writing a telephone call

R

rc444

Well-known member
Hi everyone,

okay, assume I've got a scene between Bob and Sue. It goes like this:

INT. BOB'S HOUSE - DAY

BOB
Would you like to go to a movie?

SUE
Which one?

BOB
Let's go and see Barney: The Movie.

SUE
What happened to a real date? I'm not an infant!

How would you write the above scene if Bob was on the phone to Sue??? My guess is that it would go like this:

INT. BOB'S HOUSE - DAY

Bob picks up the phone and calls Sue.

BOB
(to Sue)
Would you like to go to a movie?

INT. SUE'S HOUSE - DAY

Sue is talking on the other end.

SUE
(to Bob)
Which one?

INT. BOB'S HOUSE - DAY

BOB
(to Sue)
Let's go see Barney: The Movie.

INT. SUE'S HOUSE - DAY

SUE
(to Bob)
What happened to a real date? I'm not an infant!

Is this the right approach? We're assuming in this example of course that there will be a split screen between the two actors as they talk.
 
Nope.

Also, there is always the INTERCUT option instead of bouncing back and forth every time, and okay to HEAR one voice, like this ...

INT. BOB'S PAD - NIGHT

Bob paces, bites his nails.

BOB (PHONE)
Hey Sue! Wanna go out for Pizza?!

SUE (THROUGH PHONE)
Hey! I'm there!

INT. SUE'S PAD - NIGHT

Sue tries to fix a toaster, seem distracted.

SUE (PHONE)
I just need to finish breaking my small appliances and change my clothes.

INT. BOB'S PAD - NIGHT

SUE (THROUGH PHONE)
Which place are you thinking about?

BOB (PHONE)
Marios Tub 'O lard!

SUE (THROUGH PHONE)
See you there!

anyways, let if flow back and forth, and find a rythym.

a

www.alexwhitmer.wordpress.com

www.guerro.wordpress.com
 
I would write it like this:

INT. BOB'S HOUSE - DAY

Bob picks up the phone, begins to dial.

INT. SUE'S HOUSE

Sue sits on her couch, eating popcorn. The phone rings, and she picks it up.

SUE
Hey, what's up?

INT. BOB'S HOUSE / SUE'S HOUSE

BOB
Would you like to go to a movie?

SUE
Which one?

BOB
Let's go see Barney: The Movie.

SUE
What happened to a real date? I'm not an infant!




or if I only want to show Bob:

INT. BOB'S HOUSE / SUE'S HOUSE - DAY

Bob dials the phone, and waits while it rings on the other end.

SUE (filtered)
Hello?

BOB
Hey Sue, it's Bob. Would you like to go to a movie?

SUE (filtered)
Which one?

BOB
Let's go see Barney: The Movie.

SUE (filtered)
What happened to a real date? I'm not an infant!
 
brianluce said:
You can also write"Filtered" for voices heard through a phone.
Click to expand...


How can you filter a voice through the phone like that when editing? I have a scene like that in my film where I have phone conversations, but I want to be able to filter one voice through the phone.

Back to topic,

I think how you originally wrote it is good enough.

You should only write INT. twice, no need to keep writing INT. SUE'S HOUSE, once you already establish that, and no need to put "To Sue" or "To Bob" because those are the only 2 people having conversations, no one else is involved, so naturaly they would be only talking to one another.

Example.

INT. BOB'S HOUSE - DAY

Bob picks up the phone and calls Sue.

BOB
(to Sue)
Would you like to go to a movie?

INT. SUE'S HOUSE - DAY

Sue is talking on the other end.

SUE
Which one?

BOB
Let's go see Barney: The Movie.

SUE
What happened to a real date? I'm not an infant!
 
capitalP said:
How can you filter a voice through the phone like that when editing? I have a scene like that in my film where I have phone conversations, but I want to be able to filter one voice through the phone.


!
Click to expand...

That's not hard to do. I've seen sound engineers use very basic NLE's to create that effect. Anyhow, that's not really an issue for a screenwriting forum.
 
Not many people are using "filtered" these days - it just sounds kind of weird. I think (v.o.) looks clean.

The person that is on screen, talking into the phone put (into phone) underneath. then just use (v.o.) for the other person. No need to put "(into phone)" every time unless the reader would be unclear if the person is actually talking into the phone or to someone else in the room.

If you are going to use INTERCUT, make sure to write "Intercut with..."

"The Screenwriter's Bible" by David Trottier is a great reference to have.
 
Okay, according to Pg. 176-177 in the Screenwriters Bible, it could be formatted two ways if you want the audience to see both characters.

INTERCUT - BOB'S HOUSE/SUE'S HOUSE

BOB
Would you like to go to a movie?

SUE
Which one?

BOB
Let's go and see Barney: The Movie.

SUE
What happened to a real date? I'm not an infant!

*********

Method 2 the preferred method:

INT. BOB'S HOUSE - DAY

Bob nervously handles the phone, then punches in the numbers.

INT. SUE'S HOUSE - DAY

Busily washing the dinner dishes, Sue finally reaches for the ringing telephone.

INTERCUT - TELEPHONE CONVERSATION

BOB
Would you like to go to a movie?

SUE
Which one?

BOB
Let's go and see Barney: The Movie.

SUE
What happened to a real date? I'm not an infant!

"The INTERCUT device gives the director complete freedom as to when to intercut between speakers.

The reason you use this device is that otherwise you would have to write a master scene heading with each change of speaker. This can become laborious and interrupt the story flow. On the other hand, it may improve the story and give you more control over which character the camera is on at any point in the conversation." pg. 177

Hope this helps,

James
 
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Personally if possible I'd avoid using phone scenes. They usually suck. sometimes a necessary evil but in the history of great scenes, i don't think many are phone conversations.
 
brianluce said:
Personally if possible I'd avoid using phone scenes. They usually suck. sometimes a necessary evil but in the history of great scenes, i don't think many are phone conversations.
Click to expand...

Phone scenes are awkward to write, but as you mention, in today's world they're necessary. On the flip side though, I think audiences are pretty accepting of phone scenes.
 
I don't think you would write filtered. It would be between the director and editor/sound effects guy what the actual call would sound like. Depending on the scenario, like if Bob was standing in a wind storm or there was a written reason for the altered sound of the phone call. Again the bible just has it written as VO is we don't see the other caller.

~james
 
I agree with James. I've never seen filtered used - it reads awkwardly? Doesn't most audio go through some sort of filter (e.q., reverb, compressor)? Voice over is used most often - it makes sense and doesn't distract the reader from the story. That's just my opinion, however.
 
As far a I know, neither "filtered" or "v.o" is applicable. "v.o." indicates voice-over, as in narration, which is different than "o.s." (off-screen). "Filtered" is unheard of in my experience, but you could use it in limited circumstances if you needed to indicate how something sounds.

If you want to indicate that a voice is coming through a phone, you write (through phone) or if someone is speaking into a phone (into phone), but this is only used to indicate they're talking into the phone and not to someone else in the room, not to indicate if the voice is live or through a phone line.

EXT. SCHOOLYARD - DAY

DAVE
Hey everybody, Mike is on the phone with a girl!

MIKE
Shut up, Dave!
(into phone)
So, how's Saturday night for you, Susan?

INT. BEDROOM - DAY

SUSAN
Saturday night? I have to wash my hair.

INTERCUT AS NEEDED

MIKE
Wash your hair? Want me to come over and put some conditioner in for you?


However, in most cases, it's probably best to leave all those matters to the director and editor, and let them decide on what character to focus in part of a phone conversation.
 
I've seen "filtered" in many produced scripts. It's common. It indicates that the dialog is heard through the phone's small speaker. I don't use it however but anyone that does by no means is breaking rules of the game.
 
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