John Hardd
Member
We shot this in less than 3 hours last week.. Hope you'll like it! 3D is about to be available!
Greetings from France!
Greetings from France!
SHORT: Wouankaqadhum 3d
- Thread starter John Hardd
- Start date
Foley: footsteps --> try other sounds...I see metal, I hear "walking on a road"....
SFX: match them better...they're about 5 frames to late...
the splitscreen...not needed...
the story: you din't think 484644 hours for that story did you ?
If it's to "be proud" to have 3D... I don't have the glasses to watch 3D
So.... I don't know... If I had to give points: 2/10
SFX: match them better...they're about 5 frames to late...
the splitscreen...not needed...
the story: you din't think 484644 hours for that story did you ?
If it's to "be proud" to have 3D... I don't have the glasses to watch 3D
So.... I don't know... If I had to give points: 2/10
John Hardd
Member
I agree about the sound of footsteps...
SFX: 5 frames to late to what?
The splitscreen: What do you called splitscreen? I don't see any here...
The story: It's just a fun action scene we made for entertainment, i'm not expecting to go to the academy awards...
3D: Youtube gives the possibility to use it, as an artist I can try to use it in my work, you don't have to be rude if you don't like it.
About the rating: I understand this will not please everybody and I want to improve in the future. But it's kinda sad you give these points like if you were some kind of master of the indie filmmaking.. If it's bad I'd rather hear "You should do this or that.." instead of "It sucked!". Thank you.
SFX: 5 frames to late to what?
The splitscreen: What do you called splitscreen? I don't see any here...
The story: It's just a fun action scene we made for entertainment, i'm not expecting to go to the academy awards...
3D: Youtube gives the possibility to use it, as an artist I can try to use it in my work, you don't have to be rude if you don't like it.
About the rating: I understand this will not please everybody and I want to improve in the future. But it's kinda sad you give these points like if you were some kind of master of the indie filmmaking.. If it's bad I'd rather hear "You should do this or that.." instead of "It sucked!". Thank you.
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the "splitscreen" has gone...strange... ok so forget the splitscreen part.
The rating is just because I was to lazy to tell what to do... But it's better to record sounds that are outside in the film, outide. Inside there's to much roomreverb.
Always compared with the image...5 frames to late.... so move the sound of the SFX 5 frames to the left and I think it will be better.
It's an action scene for enter... to enter a filmschool ?
The rating is just because I was to lazy to tell what to do... But it's better to record sounds that are outside in the film, outide. Inside there's to much roomreverb.
Always compared with the image...5 frames to late.... so move the sound of the SFX 5 frames to the left and I think it will be better.
It's an action scene for enter... to enter a filmschool ?
John Hardd
Member
Ok thank you for your honest reply.
Actually I never learn how to edit or record sound. There is absolutely no original sound in the final short, I made it 100% using various sound effects from various websites. I don't have the material to record it yet.
Thank you for the tip about the 5 frames thing. I did it frame by frame, I think it works with the gun shots but maybe you're right about the other sounds...
And no I do not plan to enter a filmschool, I just love movies so much that I need to shoot my own, for my pleasure first
PS: By "ENTER" I meant "ENTERTAINMENT", my bad.
Actually I never learn how to edit or record sound. There is absolutely no original sound in the final short, I made it 100% using various sound effects from various websites. I don't have the material to record it yet.
Thank you for the tip about the 5 frames thing. I did it frame by frame, I think it works with the gun shots but maybe you're right about the other sounds...
And no I do not plan to enter a filmschool, I just love movies so much that I need to shoot my own, for my pleasure first
PS: By "ENTER" I meant "ENTERTAINMENT", my bad.
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John Hardd
Member
Not only words.. Also splitscreens 
John Hardd
Member
Ah! Si j'avais su! J'ai travaillé dur sur ma réponse! Au moins j'améliore mon anglais!
I understand your position on wanting advice, but I think some people are reticent to give it due to how it can be misinterpreted. This forum is mostly well meaning. Sometimes too brusque, yeah, but rarely deliberately insulting. That said, I would like to know what your aim was for this piece. Was it to practice fx?, try new directing techniques? Was it a homage to westerns? Because if it was just to have fun, then obviously you accomplished that, and that's a good enough reason as any, but if you want a review then there has to be a reason to doing it. So...
Just for fun review - Thanks for doing this and posting this. Maybe it will encourage people who talk about shooting (but don't) into doing it. Not everything has to be thousands of dollars and festival submitted. However, it might be prudent to aim for learning something (actors, shots, cinematography effects), or experimenting with a technique even when doing something for fun, because that way you're always progressing. Just don't let that stop you from getting out there and doing it.
Review as if you were submitting this to a fest and/or want suggestions (ignore this review if you want to, I won't mind) - There was no real story. Not even a semblance of a story. If you watch great short films, they can pack a lot of subtext into a story with minimal dialogue. Even though this was for fun, a story is needed to make us care. Why should we care if it's just three dudes shooting guns on a bridge ? Shoot one scene before the bridge to set it up - make us care. Furthermore, I've seen the same "don't want to get shot" in other films. It's cliche. Keep it consistent. Why did the dude drop his gun as the other emerged ? I expected there to be some reason, but there wasn't - just convenience. A short rewrite before you shot could have helped. If you're doing a flick improvisationally, then it might be conducive to have some ready-made fun scripts that you can fill in with later details when you get on location. Some big directors do that all the time. Collaborating can also lead to interesting outcomes.
For directing, if you wanted to do a Sergio Leone homage, then it needed more dynamic shot selection. For directing, every shot should be used to build momentum, not just set up the fx. Maybe more canted angles, dynamic relational shots could help next time. Don't just choose a MS because it looks cool, but it should have a reason story-wise. Even in a fun flick, you can try to mix it up with shot selection. Also, lead the audience with questions with your action framing. For action flicks; choose whether you want your shot selection to be pov, participatory or a mix of both. Usually third party doesn't work as well in action flicks, unless it's an ews (of a battle for example). But, film rules are meant to be broken.
The cinematography was bland. If you want to shoot without restriction, try and shoot on an overcast day, choose your wardrobe carefully to punch up the scene, use reflectors in close, or experiment with graduated filters (on brighter days). Most of all the cinematography should be dancing with the script (in tandem). For your action sequences, maybe buck the trend of that desaturated look so prevalent in today's flicks. They had a reason to start the fad,but now it's just cinematic laziness for the most part. Set yourself apart.
Acting. This is the hardest because when it's just for fun, unless your best buds are actors, most of them want some sort of reason to shoot a flick. Money, experience etc. the only thing I could suggest is try to google what others have done when trying to entice actors (film schools etc.), or ask here. Even if they know a flick isn't going to a festival, if you tell them honestly, look I'm doing tests for a future film that will be headed somewhere, maybe they'll oblige? When it came to this flick it was obviously friends mugging for the camera (which I get), but again - actors make the audience care.
Music. Again, set yourself apart. the cheesy western music is overdone. Give the audience something different. John Woo did it by putting a classical score to his flicks, or using Judy Garland. Try experimenting, try using local bands. Find a friend who wants to experiment with you, who wants to score something. Check scoring organizations, ask around. It's a great training ground for the future collaborations. The music here was prosaic.
FX. I'm not too experienced making fx (just back in the film school days, haha), so I'll just say good effort. The one shot with the bullet reminded me a little bit of wanted - but even in that flick the fx of the bullet had meaning to the script. I wouldn't have minded seeing some personalization of the bullet, or trying a different approach that we haven't seen quite as much in movies. Yeah, i know this was for fun, but assuming you did the fx yourself, you can spend time on making them stand out.
The good stuff - you shared it here. You asked for advice (you know you don't have to take it). You kept your edit fairly clean, your directing was straight forward, no jump cuts.
Keep getting better And please keep posting even if it is just for fun. the only reason I did a longer review was because you said you wanted some suggestions. I hope they were helpful. Keep shooting
That said, I would like to know what your aim was for this piece. Was it to practice fx?, try new directing techniques? Was it a homage to westerns? Because if it was just to have fun, then obviously you accomplished that, and that's a good enough reason as any, but if you want a review then there has to be a reason to doing it. So...Just for fun review - Thanks for doing this and posting this. Maybe it will encourage people who talk about shooting (but don't) into doing it. Not everything has to be thousands of dollars and festival submitted. However, it might be prudent to aim for learning something (actors, shots, cinematography effects), or experimenting with a technique even when doing something for fun, because that way you're always progressing. Just don't let that stop you from getting out there and doing it.
Review as if you were submitting this to a fest and/or want suggestions (ignore this review if you want to, I won't mind) - There was no real story. Not even a semblance of a story. If you watch great short films, they can pack a lot of subtext into a story with minimal dialogue. Even though this was for fun, a story is needed to make us care. Why should we care if it's just three dudes shooting guns on a bridge ? Shoot one scene before the bridge to set it up - make us care. Furthermore, I've seen the same "don't want to get shot" in other films. It's cliche. Keep it consistent. Why did the dude drop his gun as the other emerged ? I expected there to be some reason, but there wasn't - just convenience. A short rewrite before you shot could have helped. If you're doing a flick improvisationally, then it might be conducive to have some ready-made fun scripts that you can fill in with later details when you get on location. Some big directors do that all the time. Collaborating can also lead to interesting outcomes.
For directing, if you wanted to do a Sergio Leone homage, then it needed more dynamic shot selection. For directing, every shot should be used to build momentum, not just set up the fx. Maybe more canted angles, dynamic relational shots could help next time. Don't just choose a MS because it looks cool, but it should have a reason story-wise. Even in a fun flick, you can try to mix it up with shot selection. Also, lead the audience with questions with your action framing. For action flicks; choose whether you want your shot selection to be pov, participatory or a mix of both. Usually third party doesn't work as well in action flicks, unless it's an ews (of a battle for example). But, film rules are meant to be broken.
The cinematography was bland. If you want to shoot without restriction, try and shoot on an overcast day, choose your wardrobe carefully to punch up the scene, use reflectors in close, or experiment with graduated filters (on brighter days). Most of all the cinematography should be dancing with the script (in tandem). For your action sequences, maybe buck the trend of that desaturated look so prevalent in today's flicks. They had a reason to start the fad,but now it's just cinematic laziness for the most part. Set yourself apart.
Acting. This is the hardest because when it's just for fun, unless your best buds are actors, most of them want some sort of reason to shoot a flick. Money, experience etc. the only thing I could suggest is try to google what others have done when trying to entice actors (film schools etc.), or ask here. Even if they know a flick isn't going to a festival, if you tell them honestly, look I'm doing tests for a future film that will be headed somewhere, maybe they'll oblige? When it came to this flick it was obviously friends mugging for the camera (which I get), but again - actors make the audience care.
Music. Again, set yourself apart. the cheesy western music is overdone. Give the audience something different. John Woo did it by putting a classical score to his flicks, or using Judy Garland. Try experimenting, try using local bands. Find a friend who wants to experiment with you, who wants to score something. Check scoring organizations, ask around. It's a great training ground for the future collaborations. The music here was prosaic.
FX. I'm not too experienced making fx (just back in the film school days, haha), so I'll just say good effort. The one shot with the bullet reminded me a little bit of wanted - but even in that flick the fx of the bullet had meaning to the script. I wouldn't have minded seeing some personalization of the bullet, or trying a different approach that we haven't seen quite as much in movies. Yeah, i know this was for fun, but assuming you did the fx yourself, you can spend time on making them stand out.
The good stuff - you shared it here. You asked for advice (you know you don't have to take it). You kept your edit fairly clean, your directing was straight forward, no jump cuts.
Keep getting better
And please keep posting even if it is just for fun. the only reason I did a longer review was because you said you wanted some suggestions. I hope they were helpful. Keep shooting
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John Hardd
Member
Wow, thank you very much for this long review!
So, yeah my point was just making something fun with my 2 best friends, with a lot of action and special effects. I actually cut the beginning and the end just to focus on the fun part. I had no intention to make it very good and i'm aware that it may only please people who know us. I know I can do things much better, but we improvised it and as an actor, director, writter, editor, sfx maker, I can't really focus on one particular thing even if I'd want to. And we shot it in only 2 hours so...
Anyway, thank you for your long review, I really appreciate that!
So, yeah my point was just making something fun with my 2 best friends, with a lot of action and special effects. I actually cut the beginning and the end just to focus on the fun part. I had no intention to make it very good and i'm aware that it may only please people who know us. I know I can do things much better, but we improvised it and as an actor, director, writter, editor, sfx maker, I can't really focus on one particular thing even if I'd want to. And we shot it in only 2 hours so...
Anyway, thank you for your long review, I really appreciate that!
John Hardd
Member
Because we went out late and we wouldn't be able to shoot it soon if we didn't shoot it this time. And only 2 hours because the sun was going down very quickly, we had to finish before dusk.. that's all
Your welcome, John.
Dre83, I think they did it in that time because sometimes the impulse hits, you have your buds with you and think "why not, let's shoot something, I'll throw in some fx later, it'll be fun"! There's nothing wrong with that motivation. However, as aforementioned, setting a simple goal with every outing can be prudent. There's some good stuff with directing info on setting up improv that you may adapt to use here too.
I know this piece doesn't exemplify what you can do, but you asked for some suggestions (more as an exercise, I know). Indulge that improv vibe whenever it strikes, mate.
Cheers
Dre83, I think they did it in that time because sometimes the impulse hits, you have your buds with you and think "why not, let's shoot something, I'll throw in some fx later, it'll be fun"! There's nothing wrong with that motivation. However, as aforementioned, setting a simple goal with every outing can be prudent. There's some good stuff with directing info on setting up improv that you may adapt to use here too.
I know this piece doesn't exemplify what you can do, but you asked for some suggestions (more as an exercise, I know). Indulge that improv vibe whenever it strikes, mate.
Cheers
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