Woah...does this film suck...

DeSica

DeSica

Well-known member
Watched The Lady In The Water...despite and because of the bad things I had heard, but man....

This film goes wrong in soooo many places. I haven't seen a Shyamalan flick since Unbreakable (because they just seemed to be about waiting for the twist), and I have been told I'm not missing much, but I never expected the one trick pony to flounder this badly. Did the monkey's toiling away at typewriters for Mr. Burns write this?

Giamatti is fine...but did he lose a bet? The stuff he has been choosing to do lately seems sub par for a guy like him.

Did anyone enjoy this film?

What kind of crack was the dude smoking when he told his kids this fairy tale? It meanders and rambles...and seems made up on the spot. He even wrote a book for kids about this train wreck of a story.

Why did he cast himself in it? WTF? He's not horrible, but couldn't a real, competent actor have used the money? Cameos are one thing...

I actually paused this thing to write this because I had to vent. I tried giving it a chance to get good, to make sense...to fill out and become whole...not even close.

This movie actually offends me as a film lover.

Make him stop....
 
I actually enjoy Shyamalan, but I did find Lady in the Water to be his worst yet. It really goes nowhere and has a bunch of obnoxious stereotypes in it.

My list:
Signs
Sixth Sense
Unbreakable
The Village
Lady in the Water

He's not as bad as everybody says (in my opinion), but he's not as great as everybody expected he'd be after The Sixth Sense came out.
 
DeSica said:
Why did he cast himself in it? WTF? He's not horrible, but couldn't a real, competent actor have used the money? Cameos are one thing...
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One day I hope M Knight, Tarantino, Kevin Smith and other directors who love to cast themselves work together on a 'no actor' film.
 
i was disappointed with Lady in the Water, but I didn't think it was horrible, in fact i thought it was agood idea that just didn't meet its potential.

But then I liked the Village too ;)
 
I enjoyed the Sixth Sense the first time I saw it but it doesn't hold up to repeat viewings. Unbreakable is the same.

The Village and Lady in the Water are two of the worst films to be made in recent memory. I don't mean b-movie bad but for what I was expecting I was really disappointed with what I got.

The Village was a drawn out Twilight Zone episode and not even a good one at that. You know the whole movie within the first 10 minutes (Note: whenever a small rural town has a group of elders you know they are hiding something and are likely behind it)

Lady in the Water just plain sucks. From the horrible acting chinese girl who is needed in order for the story to make any sense to the poor execution of the flimsy mythology. This film tried to be a Steven Spielberg type mystical/childhood wonder film but couldn't even reach a level of basic interest. Horrible film.

His best film is Signs which I enjoyed when I first saw it and I think it holds up quite well after repeated viewing. The film is more a focus on the characters in the home and their outlook on life than the basic twist.
 
Brandon Rice said:
I loved LITW.
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?

What part of this poorly written, non-sensical, ill conceived, make-it-up-as-you-go along excercise in muddled and meandering, at its best mediocre movie making did you find so compelling and well executed so as to make you love it? Seriously...

The fairy tale was pure crap. Fairy tales have a point. They illustrate things...and are made for kids. This thing was so convoluted, it made you not care. There was no mytsicism, no issue of faith...nothing. What was the moral? You could get arrested for child abuse telling that story to children...


An eastern fairy tale?...From where? What culture would dream up this third rate tale? Is an acid dropping Dennis Hopper their leader? (No offense, Mr. Hopper..I'm a fan.)

It took days to explain it fully, and more and more out of left field junk was thrown into it. None of the characters were really developed. Cleveland was likeable enough, and Story (there has to be some meaning here...did Shyamalan know he was making junk, and name her Story to represent the director's vision? Maybe the grass dog things were producers who had mauled it, poisoned it, and tried to drag it into the darkness...) was okay, but you never got the impression anything of great importance was on the line here.

The guy pumping iron with only one arm was just stupid. Not interesting, not compelling...not even around for most of the film...just silly.

The Korean girl was just there to reval the fairy tale...which she knew nothing about, so she had to ask her mom...over the course of days. It was like pulling teeth...and the whole mud thing? He held his breath a long friggin' time...

The whole party thing was a joke...300 people don't see a wet albino woman get dragged off by a 250 pound rabid patch of astro-turf? The film critic manages to get mauled to death in the one empty corridor while looking for a washroom? There are forests in Philly? It's America, but nobody in the apartment complex owns a gun? They intend to fend off a fierce creature with brooms?

The whole thing feels like whenever he had a hole in the script, he just made something up and went back and wrote the corresponding character in and then forgot them until he needed them again.

And what was with the cookbook/manifesto? Was that part of the plot even needed...apart from satisfying M. Night's ego? If the part was so important, why not ge a real actor to do it? The best person for the job...

The kid deciphers cereal boxes? WTF? Where is the correlation to the existing situation? At least give him some runes or something...

Even when they do figure it all out, there is no collective sigh of relief...because you couldn't give a rat's ass by this point.

The more I reflect upon this film, the more I hate it. I know many of his films are said to be unable to stand up to outside scrutiny, and fall apart upon repeated viewings, but this one didn't even last through the first reel. This is so scattered and thin that it can't even draw you in for more than a few minutes...there is nothing to anchor you there.

If I were Giamatti, I would have had myself digitally remved from the whole film...or tried to pull off what Cosby attempted when they released Leonard, Part 6.

I really would like what anyone found redeeming about the film...and a couple of nice shots doesn't really count.
 
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I normally love Shyamalan's work, but I agree, this film had issues on so many levels. It actually amazes me that the same man who made "The Sixth Sense" could make this.

Still, I'm hopeful he'll be back on track with his next film.
 
I have not seen it, too bad the DOP (Christopher Doyle) in this film is a really good one and this is, I think, the only one he did in the USA.
 
DeSica said:
?

What part of this poorly written, non-sensical, ill conceived, make-it-up-as-you-go along excercise in muddled and meandering, at its best mediocre movie making did you find so compelling and well executed so as to make you love it? Seriously...

The fairy tale was pure crap. Fairy tales have a point. They illustrate things...and are made for kids. This thing was so convoluted, it made you not care. There was no mytsicism, no issue of faith...nothing. What was the moral? You could get arrested for child abuse telling that story to children...


An eastern fairy tale?...From where? What culture would dream up this third rate tale? Is an acid dropping Dennis Hopper their leader? (No offense, Mr. Hopper..I'm a fan.)

It took days to explain it fully, and more and more out of left field junk was thrown into it. None of the characters were really developed. Cleveland was likeable enough, and Story (there has to be some meaning here...did Shyamalan know he was making junk, and name her Story to represent the director's vision? Maybe the grass dog things were producers who had mauled it, poisoned it, and tried to drag it into the darkness...) was okay, but you never got the impression anything of great importance was on the line here.

The guy pumping iron with only one arm was just stupid. Not interesting, not compelling...not even around for most of the film...just silly.

The Korean girl was just there to reval the fairy tale...which she knew nothing about, so she had to ask her mom...over the course of days. It was like pulling teeth...and the whole mud thing? He held his breath a long friggin' time...

The whole party thing was a joke...300 people don't see a wet albino woman get dragged off by a 250 pound rabid patch of astro-turf? The film critic manages to get mauled to death in the one empty corridor while looking for a washroom? There are forests in Philly? It's America, but nobody in the apartment complex owns a gun? They intend to fend off a fierce creature with brooms?

The whole thing feels like whenever he had a hole in the script, he just made something up and went back and wrote the corresponding character in and then forgot them until he needed them again.

And what was with the cookbook/manifesto? Was that part of the plot even needed...apart from satisfying M. Night's ego? If the part was so important, why not ge a real actor to do it? The best person for the job...

The kid deciphers cereal boxes? WTF? Where is the correlation to the existing situation? At least give him some runes or something...

Even when they do figure it all out, there is no collective sigh of relief...because you couldn't give a rat's ass by this point.

The more I reflect upon this film, the more I hate it. I know many of his films are said to be unable to stand up to outside scrutiny, and fall apart upon repeated viewings, but this one didn't even last through the first reel. This is so scattered and thin that it can't even draw you in for more than a few minutes...there is nothing to anchor you there.

If I were Giamatti, I would have had myself digitally remved from the whole film...or tried to pull off what Cosby attempted when they released Leonard, Part 6.

I really would like what anyone found redeeming about the film...and a couple of nice shots doesn't really count.
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I'm not following you. Are you trying to say you didn't like it? Is that it?
 
I have no grudge against the guy, but he totally seems like a one-trick pony. He certainly seems capable in terms of his craft. But when you remove the obligatory elements of all of his films (the twist, the melancholy, the despair), what do you have?

I'm not saying he should make a Busby Berkelely musical. I just think you go in looking for the twist. If you get it, it seems inevitable. If you don't, you feel cheated.
 
IMO, he has some really good story ideas. But I think he fails to get them down in a workable way on the screen, save for The Sixth Sense.

I wanted to like Signs. But the last third of it just slowly died. A huge build up for what amounted to a few cheap bump-and-scares. I think he could have really built it up quicker and then spent a lot more time in the house and basement with the aliens lurking about.

Oh, back to Lady in the Water... um, again, interesting idea spoiled badly on the screen.
 
M needs to let someonellese write his next story.

I totally like SIGNS. It was everything I thought it would be; the story told through the perspective of this family. Period. Very enjoyable SciFi film.

Unreakable was pretty good; but did it need to be so dark and dismal ? The Village was also a fun movie.

Lady is the only one where I was left asking 'WTF' . The man definately has the skills but maybe he is statrting to fall in love with himself; see the commercials
 
DeSica said:
?

What part of this poorly written, non-sensical, ill conceived, make-it-up-as-you-go along excercise in muddled and meandering, at its best mediocre movie making did you find so compelling and well executed so as to make you love it? Seriously...

The fairy tale was pure crap. Fairy tales have a point. They illustrate things...and are made for kids. This thing was so convoluted, it made you not care. There was no mytsicism, no issue of faith...nothing. What was the moral? You could get arrested for child abuse telling that story to children...


An eastern fairy tale?...From where? What culture would dream up this third rate tale? Is an acid dropping Dennis Hopper their leader? (No offense, Mr. Hopper..I'm a fan.)

It took days to explain it fully, and more and more out of left field junk was thrown into it. None of the characters were really developed. Cleveland was likeable enough, and Story (there has to be some meaning here...did Shyamalan know he was making junk, and name her Story to represent the director's vision? Maybe the grass dog things were producers who had mauled it, poisoned it, and tried to drag it into the darkness...) was okay, but you never got the impression anything of great importance was on the line here.

The guy pumping iron with only one arm was just stupid. Not interesting, not compelling...not even around for most of the film...just silly.

The Korean girl was just there to reval the fairy tale...which she knew nothing about, so she had to ask her mom...over the course of days. It was like pulling teeth...and the whole mud thing? He held his breath a long friggin' time...

The whole party thing was a joke...300 people don't see a wet albino woman get dragged off by a 250 pound rabid patch of astro-turf? The film critic manages to get mauled to death in the one empty corridor while looking for a washroom? There are forests in Philly? It's America, but nobody in the apartment complex owns a gun? They intend to fend off a fierce creature with brooms?

The whole thing feels like whenever he had a hole in the script, he just made something up and went back and wrote the corresponding character in and then forgot them until he needed them again.

And what was with the cookbook/manifesto? Was that part of the plot even needed...apart from satisfying M. Night's ego? If the part was so important, why not ge a real actor to do it? The best person for the job...

The kid deciphers cereal boxes? WTF? Where is the correlation to the existing situation? At least give him some runes or something...

Even when they do figure it all out, there is no collective sigh of relief...because you couldn't give a rat's ass by this point.

The more I reflect upon this film, the more I hate it. I know many of his films are said to be unable to stand up to outside scrutiny, and fall apart upon repeated viewings, but this one didn't even last through the first reel. This is so scattered and thin that it can't even draw you in for more than a few minutes...there is nothing to anchor you there.

If I were Giamatti, I would have had myself digitally remved from the whole film...or tried to pull off what Cosby attempted when they released Leonard, Part 6.

I really would like what anyone found redeeming about the film...and a couple of nice shots doesn't really count.
Click to expand...

Hey, DeSica, haven't you figured out Brandon loves almost everything? I'm not bagging on the kid. I wish I could get still get joy out of mediocrity, like I did when I was twelve...as for Lady in the Water, I didn't see it. I gave up on M. Night after Signs. I mean, a civilization advanced enough to travel to this planet fails to notice the blue stuff they're allergic to and which covers 3/4 of our planet! Negro plz.
 
WOW... I actually forgot about the water thing until you brought it up. Thanks for the reminder... :cry:
 
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