"When The Lights Go Out" A Short

[sean156]

Hello all,

I've been reading the forums for a while but this is my first post. Just wanted to share a short I completed recently for fun. Shot it with a friend in one day w/ a HV30.

http://www.vimeo.com/4177985

Any suggestions and comments would be greatly appreciated, thanks!

 

[Michael Anthony Horrigan]

Considering that you just shot it in a day with your buddy I would say that it turned out quite well. I liked the shot of the camera LCD early on.

Loved the nightmare sequence around the middle, very nice.

I think the 'Shining' shot at around the 5:00 mark would have been better without the side shot thrown in. Going back to wide might have been a better choice if you wanted to break it up.

Nice job. Keep at it! You seem to have a talent for that genre. The nightmare sequence was really cool.

PS- Glad you finally signed up!

MAH

 

[sean156]

Loved the nightmare sequence around the middle, very nice.

I think the 'Shining' shot at around the 5:00 mark would have been better without the side shot thrown in. Going back to wide might have been a better choice if you wanted to break it up.

Nice job. Keep at it! You seem to have a talent for that genre. The nightmare sequence was really cool.

PS- Glad you finally signed up!

MAH

Thanks a bunch! I appreciate you watching and your comments. That close-up after the "Shining" shot did bug me a bit after I finished editing, and I think your suggestion of going back to wide is spot-on. I'm glad you enjoyed the nightmare sequence! I knew that would be the centerpiece of the short and really wanted to nail it. Also, thanks for the warm welcome!

 

[Moonlight Pictures]

Great short film! Great angles and production value!

 

[Blaine]

All things considered, I think you did a pretty decent job on this. I love watching 2.35:1 BUT I thought this piece might have been better in 16x9 to heighten its claustrophobic feel.

 

[sean156]

All things considered, I think you did a pretty decent job on this. I love watching 2.35:1 BUT I thought this piece might have been better in 16x9 to heighten its claustrophobic feel.

Good suggestion, thanks. I just love 2:35:1 so much, I couldn't resist!

 

[Nathyn]

It's like the Ring, but without the little girl or the water or...the ring. :huh: I liked the actor, he did real good. This would be a great intro to a horror flick (like the the first person the ghost/killer/monster gets).

-Nate

 

[Jon Starr]

Really good stuff man! Rarely, and I mean rarely do short horror films off the net have me on my seat holding on for dear life.

You really understand a few key elements when it comes to tension like this. In the bathroom scene at the beginning, for example, you purposely "over" cut the shots, and by doing so it subconsciously builds tension before anything happens. On top of that you often cut to the classic "lets put the camera behind something to give the feeling he's being watched, or there's something wrong" shots.

Plus a lot of great shots and cutting.

I do have beef with four parts though that kind of bugged me, actually five, but the third is a sound thing.

1) At about 27 seconds, there's a cross-dissolve from a shot outside to inside. Why? It's also a very quick cross-dissolve. Now maybe it's just preference, but I hate the use of cross-dissolves/fades unless it really asks for it, and if it's really slow and gradual. then it's followed by another cross-dissolve/jump cut. Just feels weird. I would just match cut, and maybe do a simple jump cut. It felt like the second dissolve worked better than the first one though.

2) The shot at 50 seconds. Now, this will probably be just me, and I'm sure others won't agree with me, but I feel as though I have to ask "why is that shot in there?"

Now yes, it is amazingly well done, and it shows us the room and what he's looking at, but the following is why it bugs me. A shot like that where the camera moves around the subject and the subject is looking around and turning in the opposite direction, has been done before MANY times. Now the reason why I don't think it works is because, it's often used for "confusion", "worry" or the idea of being "lost". Think a soldier separated from his platoon, being hunted by his enemy, tired, and he stops to look around, and cue classic shot. The opposite directions are supposed to give this uneasy confusion/worry. Obviously you're not trying to give off this feeling or mood for that moment, especially with the music.

But it may just be me.

3) At 2:15, it felt weird that first he was making himself supper, then as soon as he lights his first candle, he goes to bed. Now he could have re-lit the candle, but it felt like he just decided that he's no longer hungry and went upstairs, lit a candle. To fix this you might want to cut out him lighting the candle. It's not needed. Plus it just makes it seem like he skipped over supper and went straight to bed cause the lights are out. Without it we just feel like we jumped in time, which is perfectly acceptable.

4) Did you use a light for the candle scene? Now obviously you want it to be low key lighting, but it's just far too dark to see anything half the time. It may look darker because of compression, but that doesn't matter. Felt like you needed a bit more candle light on the subject.

5) Lastly, at 2:08. What's witt that cartoony dripping sound? It stood out for me and I couldn't figure out what it was supposed to be. Is it needed?



Anyways, good job, you know how to build tension, and it's very cinematic. Great job! A very solid piece!

 

[sean156]

It's like the Ring, but without the little girl or the water or...the ring. :huh: I liked the actor, he did real good. This would be a great intro to a horror flick (like the the first person the ghost/killer/monster gets).

-Nate

Thanks, Nate. I'll let Mike know you liked his acting. I never thought about it as working as an intro to a horror flick, but that's a nice compliment

Really good stuff man! Rarely, and I mean rarely do short horror films off the net have me on my seat holding on for dear life.

You really understand a few key elements when it comes to tension like this.

Thanks for the kind words, man. I really appreciate it.

1) At about 27 seconds, there's a cross-dissolve from a shot outside to inside. Why? It's also a very quick cross-dissolve. Now maybe it's just preference, but I hate the use of cross-dissolves/fades unless it really asks for it, and if it's really slow and gradual. then it's followed by another cross-dissolve/jump cut. Just feels weird. I would just match cut, and maybe do a simple jump cut. It felt like the second dissolve worked better than the first one though.

I can understand why the dissolve would irk some. I tried jump cuts first but wasn't happy with how it flowed.

2) The shot at 50 seconds. Now, this will probably be just me, and I'm sure others won't agree with me, but I feel as though I have to ask "why is that shot in there?"

I have to agree with you, it was me being self-indulgent and wanting to see if I could pull the shot off

3) At 2:15, it felt weird that first he was making himself supper, then as soon as he lights his first candle, he goes to bed. Now he could have re-lit the candle, but it felt like he just decided that he's no longer hungry and went upstairs, lit a candle. To fix this you might want to cut out him lighting the candle. It's not needed. Plus it just makes it seem like he skipped over supper and went straight to bed cause the lights are out. Without it we just feel like we jumped in time, which is perfectly acceptable.

A friend of mine said the same thing and honestly, it didn't even cross my mind when I was writing. But now I totally see where you guys are coming from and it kinda bugs me now, haha.

4) Did you use a light for the candle scene? Now obviously you want it to be low key lighting, but it's just far too dark to see anything half the time. It may look darker because of compression, but that doesn't matter. Felt like you needed a bit more candle light on the subject.

I only used a little light when he was on the bed. I'm still learning about how to light in the dark, so I took this as a learning experience. On the other hand, I really wanted to have the short look like it was shot in the dark and have you see only what is absolutely necessary (i.e. his face). I'll work on this the next time I shoot in low-light.

5) Lastly, at 2:08. What's witt that cartoony dripping sound? It stood out for me and I couldn't figure out what it was supposed to be. Is it needed?

I'm not sure which sound you refer to. @ 2:08, there's a crunching sound, which is Mike playing w/ the ramen package in his hands.

 

[Jon Starr]

I'm not sure which sound you refer to. @ 2:08, there's a crunching sound, which is Mike playing w/ the ramen package in his hands.

Looking at it, it's more at 2:09-2:10. It sound like a cartooney drip of water mixed in with the sound of the match lighting up.

Unless it's a mix of a sound with the key of a piano? Hard to tell. Basically everytime I see him light that match, it doesn't sound like lighting a match, but a an over the top drop of water hitting something.

It's like you hear the crunching, then the weird water sound, then the match flares up. Must be that you know what the sound is so you hear it as what it's supposed to be. Or maybe I'm going crazy, lol.

 

[sean156]

Looking at it, it's more at 2:09-2:10. It sound like a cartooney drip of water mixed in with the sound of the match lighting up.

Unless it's a mix of a sound with the key of a piano? Hard to tell. Basically everytime I see him light that match, it doesn't sound like lighting a match, but a an over the top drop of water hitting something.

It's like you hear the crunching, then the weird water sound, then the match flares up. Must be that you know what the sound is so you hear it as what it's supposed to be. Or maybe I'm going crazy, lol.

Ohh, ok. That sound is actually just the match striking the surface of the box, right before it gets lit. That's the sound as we recorded it when we were shooting. I guess you were right that I didn't know what you were referring to b/c to me, I know it is the match striking the box.

 

[Burn2Earn pro.]

Really good short man , I really enjoyed a nice suspense piece... Its been a while since I've seen one and I'm glad it was yours , production value kicks with the one day shoot... nice job... was it a winger or did you spend some time on it?... either way it was good... keep up the good work and looking forward to seeing something in the future.

 

[sean156]

Really good short man , I really enjoyed a nice suspense piece... Its been a while since I've seen one and I'm glad it was yours , production value kicks with the one day shoot... nice job... was it a winger or did you spend some time on it?... either way it was good... keep up the good work and looking forward to seeing something in the future.

Thanks for watching it and for the compliments. The shoot was one day (except for some dream sequence pickups that I did without my main actor) but I spent a few days outlining the beats and writing it. The story is kind of "inspired by actual events" as I was inspired to make it after I heard some creepy noises in my apartment one night (the same apartment we shot the short, haha).