When camera directions are important

[nycineaste]

FINALLY!!!

its either an OTS shot, or the brim of his hat conceals his face, or its shot from above.

Whew!

and yes, minor slugs are the best thing here:

OVER THE SHOULDER

The figure lights a cigarette.

FROM ABOVE

concealed under the rim of his hat, the man lights a cigarrette.

CLOSE ON THE MAN

concealed under the rim of his hat, the man lights a cigarrette.

or something.

minor slugs are the most elegant way to direct the camera, I feel.

 

[vincent6805]

Writing, is telling the story with as much simplicity as possible. There is a big difference between a SPEC script, and a SHOOTING script. Only the shooting script needs to have and camera angles, and that comes after the producer and director make their final comments. DON'T WORRY ABOUT CAMERA ANGLES! Learn how to tell your story without saying; Angle on...

 

[Egg Born Son]

What is this obsession with locking down the shot in the script? It's not coming from me, it's precisely what I don't want to do. Otherwise the slugs would be an elegant solution. I provided the sketches simply to prove that the instruction is neither awkward or impossible to shoot. I think I've been quite clear in my posts, if anyone has actually read them. If people are answering my thread title rather than the body of my posts, I guess it is misleading. I may have muddied the issue by following where the convesation went but I was never actually asking for camera directions, camera angles, shots, etc. A framing instruction is not a camera direction.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT CAMERA ANGLES!

I'm not. I don't know how to be any more clear than that.

 

[David W. Richardson]

"He lights his cigarette. His hand cups the flame, keeping it protected from any stray breeze -- and keeping his face hidden from any stray eyes."

 

[Egg Born Son]

I logged on to post that I was driving down the road just now when it hit me, so simple it hurts:

Face unseen, he lights his cigarette.

Six words, economical, elegant, framing instruction implied, pure action. I may think differently later but I'm pretty sure I've nailed it. Thanks David, Cal and others who suggested lines. They were going away from the less is more approach I've been working on lately but in doing so really helped me drill in on what I wanted. You've all been a great sounding board, one line is such a small matter I probably wouldn't had bothered to fix it if you hadn't chimed in. 2 days for 6 words - no writer will ever be paid by the hour!

Hope this is the only time I have to visually describe the absence of something. I think that was the lingual technicality that stymied me. I wasn't too concerned about the glitchy line but in contrast I'm really pleased with the outcome. BTW if you think the new line sucks and I'm just feeling pleased with myself, let me know.