SHORT: What Might Have Been

T

tommygdawg

Well-known member
Howdy everyone,

I've just finished and released a short drama called What Might Have Been. It follows a young bookstore owner who's struggling with the death of his father as he makes a startling discovery that could change his life forever. Let me know what you think! :)


- Tommy
 
First, dynamite, I mean, dynamite! push in around the 8:14 mark, just fantastic. The moment mixed with your score, I found that to be the best part of the whole short.
Overall, I think you can cut this down a little bit. Not the length per say, but Some of the conversations had a few too many unnatural pauses.
At first I thought that girl was Mandy Moore! She is beautiful.
Your main guy did a great job. There are some parts where I just didn't believe his internal struggle with losing his store but I liked him.
I just didn't like the guy with the V-Neck at all. At all.
I get the character he was trying to play but I'm thinking he should have just been himself instead of trying to play a movie version of himself.

Great score, I love it. Score to me is one of the most important but overlooked parts of a short.

The dialogue sounded fantastic as well.
 
soundwise it's good... some details maybe in mixing... the hum was there already ? or did you put a "layer of hum"... if you do...it's best to put 2 layers...so you can easely mix so that it sounds equal.
 
What a piece of work! I started to watch, but after a couple of minutes I looked at the total time. I thought, "Ah, I'll come back and watch the rest later." However, I stayed for the whole film. Good writing. Good story. Good use of the space in the store, moving back and forth between open and closed spaces. Very effective score and its economic use. I hope my first narrative project is just a fraction as good as this. I look forward to seeing more.
 
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