Walk to Work / Title Sequence

Viscount Omega

Carbonite Member
Hey guys--

This is the second scene / title sequence in my film. I'm hoping to get your first impressions of it for things I can fix if need be.

Things like: too dark, too saturated, too fast, too slow, too much of this, not enough of that--that kind of thing.

I just have a consumer monitor and a big screen tv but nothing pro calibrated. I should do that.

To put it in context, in the first scene (which I haven't shot yet) I'm sitting at my desk in my basement apartment doing a chemistry experiment. It's about 7am and I've been up all night. The experiment fails. Anger, frustration. The alarm clock goes off. Now I have to dress, get out the door and walk to the lab where I work.

The cast and crew names are all made up. There are other people involved--just not yet.

The music is just me jamming along with some drum loops (I'm a guitar and bass player). I put it on as a soundtrack a while ago just because it was about the right tempo for walking, then I found myself cutting to it and liked it but I don't need to keep it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VNzf4OIlmsY


Thanks
 
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Is this a documentary? It looks like it.
Without seeing the first scene, it's hard to know how much it would set up this title sequence.
Nevertheless, my overall thought is that as it stands, the title sequence is a little flat. Nothing much happens. I did like him (you?) in front of the fountains.
The problem is, we don't have enough invested in this character that we would want to watch him walking around town.
Ideally, the title sequence would be like a little story. Things would happen. Perhaps he stops to pet a kitten. Maybe he buys a tea, and has a little interaction. Things happen that reveal his character. He smiles at a woman as she walks by. It wouldn't take too much added to make it a lot more interesting.
Technically, it seems competent enough. Good luck with the project.
 
No, it's not a documentary, just a title sequence of the character walking to work. I don't know if the first scene would make the character any more likable--maybe more interesting perhaps. I think people would laugh. You might empathize with the frustration of staying up all night and the end result is a failed science experiment. I don't know.

I think I'd rather be interesting than likeable.

I get the idea of the title sequence being it's own story and/or contributing to character development but none of my favorite films do that.

Perhaps he stops to pet a kitten.

LOL. I would never stoop to something so contrived for your approval.
 
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