Video for non-profit - feedback needed

Jim Brennan

Jim Brennan

VHS Member Old Skool
I created this video for a local non-profit. It's a camp for special needs kids, and they were looking for something to give an overview of their prorams. At first I was pretty happy with it, but then there was a screening before a benefit showing of a movie. It was great seeing it on the big screen and the footage from the DVX looked fine, if a little dark in some spots. But the audience response was totally flat. I expected at least one or two oohs and ahhs based on the kids in the video. I think there are some really good shots in there. But, still being new to this, I figure that if I didn't get the reaction I wanted, I must have overlooked something.

So I put it to you all to give me your feed back.

The video is about 5:30, and the first minute is footage shot in 1987 by a news crew. The rest is my footage, shot last summer.

Thanks
http://www.stickypod.com/videos/showphoto.php?photo=1469

Edit: That's the updated link.
 
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I watched your video and thought the photography was nice and interesting. For me, it was the narrator that was lacking. I felt no passion in his voice. That made it a bit flat for me.

Great camp, by the way.
 
I think that camp is amazing. But the reason the response might be a little flat is because it is too much information and not enough emotion. Did you do any interviews with the kids? Maybe a clip of them saying how much they like the camp. Also, try to incorporate more close ups. The camera often seemed to be removed from the subject. Not just physically but emotionally. I have not tackled many projects yet, so this opinion is based mainly from a viewer standpoint.

Also, the narration seemed flat. I think the piece would be more powerful with a more excited (not too much so obviously) narrator. And if it was cut down. I think that this piece could be a lot stronger if it was shorter.

I would also match some of the video with what the narrator is mentioning. There is a line that says the camp has zip line, miniature golf, etc. While this had been shown before you mentioned it, the images would have resonated more if they were directly linked to the audio. I would break it down like this...
The camp has a zip line....
The image of a kid on the zip line
Miniature golf.....
Image of kids playing miniature golf.
etc.

I really think this piece could tug more at the heart strings while letting people know what the camp is about with some reworking.
 
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Thanks. I have talked about those issues with the camp. The VO needs to be redone for sure. I like the idea of teaming up the images with the VO for the different activities, but it would be a little too much to show each one with each description. I think I can time it better though.

I want it to have an emotional impact in addition to be informative.

Thanks for the input.

BTW, how was the quality of the streaming? I'm having some technical challenges with the site. I'm new to this web hosting thing.
 
Jim Brennan said:
Thanks. I have talked about those issues with the camp. The VO needs to be redone for sure. I like the idea of teaming up the images with the VO for the different activities, but it would be a little too much to show each one with each description. I think I can time it better though.

I want it to have an emotional impact in addition to be informative.

Thanks for the input.

BTW, how was the quality of the streaming? I'm having some technical challenges with the site. I'm new to this web hosting thing.
Click to expand...

The streaming was okay. I didn't have any problems. But then again I am at my work connection which is pretty fast.

I'd like to see the revised video. Good luck in recutting it.
Alex
 
Jim personally I think that the video was factual and showed locations/ and different options well. Maybe a little of what Alex said regarding when they talk about mini golf show it, however Im trying to think if I was the parent of one of these children, I would want factual information, the emotion of having a disabled child is with me everyday, and I dont think your aim is to make emotional attachement for parents without disabled kids.
Maybe a clip of them saying how much they like the camp.
Click to expand...
That is a good idea as a parent of a disabled child would want to hear it.

Your music choice was perfect. If you really wanted to add emotion the simplest way would be through the music mood, but as I said I think its perfect.

I thought some of your shots were too dark.
 
Yea, some of the shots are too dark, and none of those are crucial enough to leave in. Sometimes I leave stuff in from my first edit because I get used to it. But I will probably go back and change a few of those

I just got off the phone with the director of the camp. She pretty much told me to stop worrying. They have been showing it to new and returning families ths week with a great response. I think I'm a litle paranoid, but the fact is that I really want to learn how to do this well. She also said that this video is designed to be informative first, and emotional second. and NCJE, you have a good point about the emotional atachment. These parents (me included) live with it everyday. They need to be sold on what the camp does. Thanks.

Tokyo huh? Jeez, I love the web.
 
Hey Dude,
I'm new to this site, but I've been doing film/video professionally for about 10 years now. The BIGGEST problem with that piece (if you were going for emotion) is that there is no STORY. You don't follow one or two kids through a summer- watching them grow, learn, cry, and smile. There is no interview with the tearful mother of a kid who talks about how 'for one week a year this camp lets Sarah and our family do things that all the other kids do- last night Sarah said, Mommy, I'm just like all the other kids here! cry...cry....cry (slowly zoom in).' What you have here is a collection of GREAT B-Roll that shoud go over the top of those kinds of interviews and VO.

You produced a good 'motion-picture-brochure.' Problem is, you're in video now, and for video you need to tell a good story to get emotional impact. Nobobdy cries or is moved when they read a brochure, but a good STORY will really impact them.

Think of that crazy show with Ty Pennington, the one where they go in and re-make homes for families who have had some kind of tragedy or affliction. People don't ohh and ahhh over that show because NBC goes through a laundry list of how many construction workers volunteered on the home, how many miles of 2x4s were donated, and how expensive the countertops are; people ohh and ahh over that show because the producers work-in the EMOTIONAL STORY of the poor family who is being profiled. '''''''So-and-so lost his leg under a combine, and all he ever wanted to do was be a track and field runner----- so Ty and his eleves build a special tread mill infront of a giant movie screen that plays POV footage of a person running at the Olympics. Then the family walks through and sees that, and the kid is running on it... then the Dad and Grandpa cry and hug. Cut to Ty Pennington crying, then dissolve to Slo-mo shot of the kid pumping away on the tread mill with a big goofy smile on his face. They make a story out of the stuff. Otherwise..... it's a brochure about home remodeling.

Also, use a tripod for everything for at least 2 years.
 
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