IndieFilmer
Active member
Hello, just looking for some advice on technique an such. Any type of feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks all!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSv__OctXP4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSv__OctXP4
VERY FIRST film
- Thread starter IndieFilmer
- Start date
Nice first film.
The biggest piece I can offer is not to walk with the camera unless you have a steadicam or a dolly. And if it's not a POV shot, always keep it on the tripod. When the camera shakes it calls attention to the camera being present and you don't want to distract your audience.
The biggest piece I can offer is not to walk with the camera unless you have a steadicam or a dolly. And if it's not a POV shot, always keep it on the tripod. When the camera shakes it calls attention to the camera being present and you don't want to distract your audience.
filmman
Veteran
Congratulations!
You put a lot of thought into this.
1) The kid hears the music at the moment he puts in the ear phones in his ears. Until then there is no sound on the track.
2) He is wearing a white jacket -- martial arts? Sign of purity?
3) He carries a rucksack -- what's in it? Burden? Wisdom? Supplies?
4) He head straight for the girl and says hi. Freud said sex was the most important drive....
5) The girl has short hair and looks like a body builder -- symbol of beauty and strength.
6) The girl regrets not having gone with the kid. Nice twist.
7) She dreams of following him somewhere, but is too busy writing. Is she documenting something?
8) The daydream part is in orange-red. Maybe there is danger involved?
Good beginning....
Keep up the good work.
You put a lot of thought into this.
1) The kid hears the music at the moment he puts in the ear phones in his ears. Until then there is no sound on the track.
2) He is wearing a white jacket -- martial arts? Sign of purity?
3) He carries a rucksack -- what's in it? Burden? Wisdom? Supplies?
4) He head straight for the girl and says hi. Freud said sex was the most important drive....
5) The girl has short hair and looks like a body builder -- symbol of beauty and strength.
6) The girl regrets not having gone with the kid. Nice twist.
7) She dreams of following him somewhere, but is too busy writing. Is she documenting something?
8) The daydream part is in orange-red. Maybe there is danger involved?
Good beginning....
Keep up the good work.
IndieFilmer
Active member
Thank you for the feedback and appreciation of the creativity. It is all very helpful.
Very nice piece
What Filmman said
Handheld sucks. Its a law. Stability would have helped this a lot. Even a monopod. Cameraman tried hard but there's just no way not to shake.
Pacing~flow. . . I personally would have less time on the approach - more time & angles on the personal interaction - split to finish was near perfect. Purely subjectve, everyone's got their own take.
Well done. Thanks for sharing - looking forward to more. :beer:
What Filmman said
Handheld sucks. Its a law. Stability would have helped this a lot. Even a monopod. Cameraman tried hard but there's just no way not to shake.
Pacing~flow. . . I personally would have less time on the approach - more time & angles on the personal interaction - split to finish was near perfect. Purely subjectve, everyone's got their own take.
Well done. Thanks for sharing - looking forward to more. :beer:
visugeek
Well-known member
A few things came to mind.
Exposure: Some of the shots got pretty dark, probably because you were exposing for the brighter areas.
Composition and movement: As a director, you are a visual story teller. I initially watched this with out the sound turned up. There were some good compositions, and some very awkward ones, I'm not sure if it was intentional or not. The initial shot with the trees crossing frame as we track with our hero is very voyeuristic, more reminiscent of a horror film. The camera is stalking the hero. The camera also pans away from our hero out into the bushes while he walks, as if to suggest that there is something else out there. Similar compositions and voyeuristic camera angles happen around the girl on the bench. I don't think those images necessarily match the feel of the music.
Audio: If you are going to have the sound start when he puts the ear phones in, perhaps it should change when he takes the right earphone out to talk to her and then change back when he puts it back in.
Story: Ok, so we follow a guy as he walks through campus, he stops and talks to a girl, and then leaves. They both think about each other after...
The most important parts of this story are the two of them talking, and her visuals when she is thinking about going with him. How much footage of him walking do you need to tell us that he is walking? For editing the general concensus is if you don't need it, if it doesn't contribute to the story, lose it. Try cutting down the walking time and see what happens, both before and after he meets the girl. I think it will play better.
Cheers!
Exposure: Some of the shots got pretty dark, probably because you were exposing for the brighter areas.
Composition and movement: As a director, you are a visual story teller. I initially watched this with out the sound turned up. There were some good compositions, and some very awkward ones, I'm not sure if it was intentional or not. The initial shot with the trees crossing frame as we track with our hero is very voyeuristic, more reminiscent of a horror film. The camera is stalking the hero. The camera also pans away from our hero out into the bushes while he walks, as if to suggest that there is something else out there. Similar compositions and voyeuristic camera angles happen around the girl on the bench. I don't think those images necessarily match the feel of the music.
Audio: If you are going to have the sound start when he puts the ear phones in, perhaps it should change when he takes the right earphone out to talk to her and then change back when he puts it back in.
Story: Ok, so we follow a guy as he walks through campus, he stops and talks to a girl, and then leaves. They both think about each other after...
The most important parts of this story are the two of them talking, and her visuals when she is thinking about going with him. How much footage of him walking do you need to tell us that he is walking? For editing the general concensus is if you don't need it, if it doesn't contribute to the story, lose it. Try cutting down the walking time and see what happens, both before and after he meets the girl. I think it will play better.
Cheers!
IndieFilmer
Active member
I am so grateful that you guys took the time to analyze the compositions and such. These critiques are what I will surely benefit from most. The scene where they interact is obviously the most important and should have had a more dynamic approach, that is very true. Also true is the rule about cutting anything in editing that is not needed. Him walking is over emphasized a bit, however there are suppose to be different emotions for each. The first time we see him embark on the journey, wondering where he is headed. The second he has just left the girl and is contemplating what she thinks of him and glances back as if to say "I wonder what shes thinking". The third shot and fourth shot , although cross cut with the girl are actually one take. This part was also crucial because the boy and girl both share a moment of "missed opportunity". He glances with disappointment followed by a shot of her tilting her head towards the ground. She recognizes her failure to embrace his company and returns to her table to continue writing. I should have given more emphasis to these feelings through visuals. all of your comments have definitely opened my eyes. Most of these things were mostly lack of planning but I will only get better with experience. I'll keep posting more. I respect every one of your opinions, very insightful. Thank you again.:dankk2: