Unrequited: I got a story to tell....

A modern Mice and Men? Sort of.

I found the choice of going from the tripod, locked off movement to handheld disconcerting…Lol. You got me dizzy watching that guy run around her.

I’m sure you know, but the sound/dialogue needs improvement.

Script ? Hmm. Didn’t work as well as it could have. You have a powerful premise, the possibility of a couple interesting characters, but there was no follow through.
You set up this girl as having grown up with Lenny since she was 7? And in one inappropriate gesture of horniness she calls him stupid, a moron, and slaps him? That’s a bit of a leap, IMHO. Further, this script really needed a high degree of acting proficiency.
Whereas, your actors were passionate, they didn’t seem experienced enough to tackle the material. Maybe playing to your strengths, using a script that utilizes the resources you have access to (actors) might be something to consider.

Thanks for the making the film.:beer:
 
For 14 hours, that's pretty impressive on a technical level. Story wise, it felt like something that was assembled on the fly. But that's not to take away from the great effort!!!
 
I agree with D&G on pretty much all points.

I felt like her behavior there needed to be explained in the story somehow. For instance, if she was getting more and more emotional about the boyfriend and he made the pass, then she did that, it would have felt a little more like she kind of forgot herself and let her feelings about the guy come out at Lenny. As it is, she just seems like a ROARING asshole.

What was your intent with that?

And what you were asking from the male actor was really, really tough. For the most part, I feel like he did pretty decent work, mainly because he committed fully to what he was doing, but that really is the kind of role you need an experienced actor in - WHO ALSO DOES A LOT OF HOMEWORK ON IT.
 
I think this had potential to be a pretty good flick... it just didn't get there for me that is.. looks like you have some really good actors there and a pretty good story idea.

I am sorry for the short post ... I am trying to get all the ones I missed
 
13th review:

I will first state, again another that suffers from seeming like its trying to reach 6 minutes rather than just make itself be how long it needs to be. And if everyone needs this long to tell a dramatic story, yet still manage to not do anything with the shots other than fill time , i see no where to go but up in the future.

Another thing i noticed was the again stereotypical piano of DVX fests. it also cut out a bit early. The carharts on a mentally handicapped guy didnt fit, and i didnt believe him as handicapped either, it was awkward and embarassing for some parts. Hes pretty portly as well for running alot, he said he never gets tired of it.

Her not understanding him and backlashing at him was a real downer, and just didnt make sense. romantic scene was a plus atleast adding legitimacy to this short , but she was too clothed to be beleivable. I wasnt given a reason to see why shed be so emotional. For spending so much time, youd think she would understand , but a moot point by now.

a decent idea in the end, bt again she is way over reacting to not only him but the situation with the boyfriend. and the acting got worse in the end. colors didnt pop so the technical aspect was not interesting to save it for me in the end as a reasonable movie. This just went on far too long imo.

thats it.

maybe i should give a disclaimer before i get warned? ( i had to stop reviewing horrorfest because i wasnt being that positive, this is how i feel and i guess ill just post until im stopped again)
 
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