Unlucky - Short - Tarot

Re: Unlucky - Short - Tarot

The Hudson Review

I enjoyed this.  We seem to be getting alot more shorts lately and quite a few have dealt with the macabre in some fashion; which is the way it oughta be.

The story, if somewhat predicatable has a nice payoff and the mood that is set is used nicely.  A nice choice of score to enhance the 'creep' factor.

The lighting and exposure were nice and work well; I would liked to have seen a more stylized attempt; more use of light and dark (Chiaroscuro) but as always subjective.

The shots were thought out well and your use of staying on the right side of the line were executed.  You had a variety of reverse shots and a variance on framing; that was great.

I would liked to have seen another frame on the girl as one in particualr was used a bit too often I think.  The C.U.  

I felt the V.O. was great although it didn't seem to jive at all times when the couple are talking.  The voices were competing for attention.  I am not a sound designer so I cant imagine how hard it is to do this technique.

I laughed out loud when she asked:

"Is that bad?" and he says...
"No.  That's why they call it the Tower of Destruction"

Great line!

In short, I thought this was cool.  Love the subject matter and the execution was good.  Any changes I have would be subjective (one filmmaker to another) as in getting some dolly shots in or changing around the shot selections.

The only standing issue I have is that I think it could be shorter as the point is made and then made again and again.  ANyway, look forward to seeing more from you!
 
Re: Unlucky - Short - Tarot

Very Cool, I liked the VfX and the color scheme. Could use some audio.
ajc
 
JP, That was pretty cool. One thing I would like to hear is some echo and EQ on the VO, just to seperate it from the dialog. Also I think that the dialog channel should go silent while the VO is playing, like John said they're sort of competing with each other. Other than that is a great idea well executed. To take it to the farcical extreme, it might be funny if he turns up a card with the girls actual picture on it with the caption "this girl will die" written on it. Keep it up.
 
The music is too loud at times compared to the dialog. It almost sounds like the guy who created the music also got to mix the audio because it gets more attention than it should. Consider using some compression on the vocals to make them cut through more. But overall I really enjoyed what you made!
 
Mike said:
The music is too loud at times compared to the dialog. It almost sounds like the guy who created the music also got to mix the audio because it gets more attention than it should. Consider using some compression on the vocals to make them cut through more. But overall I really enjoyed what you made!
Click to expand...
Thats true, I should really do my own audio mix.
J.P.
 
The Awful Truth

The Awful Truth

The Awful Truth :thumbup:

The Good:
1. Good camera angles and cinematic choices.
2. Good lighting in most scenes, though some scenes have a reddish tint.
3. Story is compelling, fun and interesting. I didn't really know what to expect.
4. Pretty good acting and narraration, good dialog delivery.
5. Great ending credits, really good idea.
6. Good spooky music throughout the film.
7. Some humorous lines in the script.
8. Good editing and timing. Nothing seems out of place.
9. Good director AND good leading man!? Same guy? Yes!

The Bad:
1. Too close on some of the closeups.
2. Narraration over actor's dialog is distracting.
3. Leading man seems to know too much too soon.
4. Everything is a little too dark. Lighting is good but color level is pretty neutral. Perhaps this choice was made to add to the film's spooky ambience.
5. Hanging up phone finisher is anticlimactic.

& The Ugly:
1. Her cards! talk about bad luck, or were those his cards!?
2. She was going to shag him? If Mr. Fortune Teller really had the shining, he surely would have forseen this and would have lied about her cards, faker!
3. The silly foreign accents these two are putting on, they are clearly from NY, or Jersey, you can't fool me!
4. No gore.
5. No nudity (though a shagging was maybe going to happen) bonus if it did.

Summary:
This is a fun little film with so few faults that I had a hard time finding things for the "bad" section. High production value, good writing, visuals, sound, acting, and lighting. If anything it might just be a little too safe, like the director didn't take any chances on doing something more exciting like high contrast lighting, or more locations than the one room apartment. I enjoyed watching this and it kept me guessing. No particular shot stood out as significant, but then again that might have to do with the setup of this story. I would have liked to have seen more elements worked into this plot, but the elements that are there work very well. This one is easily given a thumbs up.

Statistics:
This film has a total running time of about 4:50.
Of that total running time, about 1:00 minute is credits, intros, and/or company logos.
The director's name appears 2 times throughout the film.
The film version viewed was a Windows Media file with a file size of 18mb.

DISCLAIMER
The Awful Truth is me being completely honest about what I think is good, bad, and just plain ugly (ugly items are merely items of which I poke fun). Please know that I point out these things to help you see what others might see. In other words, take it with a grain of salt, it's your film. I mean no offense by my random musings, nor will I defend my opinions because I could most certainly be wrong. However, I have experience in things such as this, so I'm entitled to have said opinion. This method of critique was born out of necessity. For years people were so constructively un-honest with me (i.e. not giving me The Awful Truth), that I couldn't seem to learn how to do things better. I grant the gift of one man's truth to you. Reader beware, for The Awful Truth will be told again.
 
Thank god for The Awful Truth!!!
It's about time the apathy in this community was shaken-up. Finally a user who watches the films and posts! To tell the truth I was getting sick of keep posting without comments.
I can take anything but the silence.
I shot Unlucky about a year and a half ago. Ama (DP) was coming round for dinner and I roped him into making a short. I was a little pissed on red-wine because I hadn’t acted in years. I had recently shot a bad dialogue scene and I wanted to learn the safest way to shoot an intimate/ close conversation. So I used Unlucky as a test. That last shot onto the phone Ama did, (I had yet to learn the joys of doing it myself by this point), he was struggling because it was a complex shot (pan/ zoom/ tilt). I also rushed the post a little.
I enjoyed doing this short. It got me back into Acting. Gained back confidence that if I struggled with conversation again I had a back-up plan.
Many thanks again 'Truth' for your comments.
J.P.
 
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