Two Scenes From My Movie

Blurryness made me stop watching the first half. Nothing interesting enough visually to keep me there. Sorry.

The second half managed to keep me until the sword fight, and I'll tell you why:

There are parts here when the camera's actually becoming part of the show, instead of some half-sized bystander that's trying to see what's going on. As in, some guy holding the camera. I'm sure you can pick the nice shots and pieces from this, and then compare them to the rest of it.

That said: Dialogue, story, pacing, everything is boring. You see guys walking through a house for like fifteen minutes (exaggerating) with guns at the ready. I never see, at least I don't think, that guy in the grey dodging and dipping past them, being one step ahead at all times.

If you're going to do something as ambitious as this, please come with great content. Swords and guns and "neat" looking costumes just isn't enough.

Why was there a sword in the guy's back-seat? I was immediately in disbelief that this character even knew how to handle a sword simply because it was not sheathed. Furthermore, it was just hanging out in his back-seat like an extra passenger. This little thing was the sliding point for me, and though it was already "meh", the sword in the backseat totally pushed me off the muddy cliff.

That's just me, though. Hope to see it get better, if there's a chance to improve.
 
First one. I kind of dug it. The acting was a little monotone. They seemed like they were only halfway into their characters. The blur was an interesting choice. More on that in a second. What worked for me the most was that the scene did sort of have a kinetic push to it. It was very driven. Something was happening. And you felt that.

The problem for me was the blur. It was an interesting choice and I'm sure it holds up better on TV screen but on youtube it just looks too pixellated. It went on for too long and as soon as we finally got out of it and believe it's the last time we have to deal with it, we're forced to deal with it again with the Demon Guy. In addition to that (and I'm sure the crappy Youtube compression contributes to this), it's too dark. Way too dark. And it wasn't dark in a way where I was like, "ooh, I wonder what's going on in the shadows". It was dark in a, "man, I can't see a f*cking thing. this is annoying" way. But again, both of these things would probably play out differently on a normal TV screen.

I'll check out the second one later.
 
Maybe a lil harsh Kholi. I found it interesting that we lost interest at exactly the same time. The first clip with the blurriness and dark images was unacceptable. The first 10 seconds was alright..but after that it was distracting. The clip at the house was pretty good, but I did lose interest right at the sword fight. I thought the coverage/editing on this was real good. The two things lacking for me in the second clip was the story and acting. The actual shooting techniques I enjoyed. The story couldnt carry it after awile though. But hey..you don't work for a major studio with major cash, you can't afford great writers or actors..so for what its worth excellent effort and there is definately room for improvement.

That is all.
 
Okay, I watched the second one. It's a little hard to comment because it is the finale and I have no idea what's happened before this. You seem to be going for a Matrix meets The Highlander type thing. And while that idea is interesting, you don't have Matrix vs. Highlander production value (no independent filmmaker does). And I definitely felt like this idea needed more resources and a bigger stage to be told effectively.

Even so, you could've really helped the look by setting up and taking your time. Lighting every shot. For instance, there is a shot in there where one of your characters is in the house - i believe the kitchen - and there's a bright window blowing out the background behind him. As a result, his face is very dark and those are the kind of the things that scream "amateur filmmaking". Had you just put some light on his face, it would've looked so much better. And there are numerous places where this occurred.

The sword fight didn't bother me as much as the others, but it didn't excite me either. Still, usually these fights are not about the fight, they're about the two characters, what they're battling for, their conflict with each other, etc. And since I have no background on either of them, it's hard for me to comment on how effective that scene was. From a purely technical standpoint, it wasn't bad.

Unfortunately this film reeks of "Let's get a bunch of friends together and make a film" syndrome. The kind where all the characters are the exact same age (around college) whereas in a real movie they'd likely all be different ages. And all these guys are cops or whatever, but they're only like 20 years old. How many cops do you know who are 20 years old? Then again, this might be explained in the storyline. I wouldn't know as I haven't read it.

There are some things here that need some work but overall it wasn't bad. I am always envious of someone who's shot an entire feature and for that I admire and am jealous of you. That alone is an incredible feat and I'm sure your next effort will be better.

Good luck.
 
STYLZ said:
Maybe a lil harsh Kholi. I found it interesting that we lost interest at exactly the same time. The first clip with the blurriness and dark images was unacceptable. The first 10 seconds was alright..but after that it was distracting. The clip at the house was pretty good, but I did lose interest right at the sword fight. I thought the coverage/editing on this was real good. The two things lacking for me in the second clip was the story and acting. The actual shooting techniques I enjoyed. The story couldnt carry it after awile though. But hey..you don't work for a major studio with major cash, you can't afford great writers or actors..so for what its worth excellent effort and there is definately room for improvement.

That is all.
Click to expand...

Sorry if that came off harsh. Wasn't my intent at all!
 
blurry effect I no likey... Acting was uneventful, but the music was terrific. I'd like to see what's actually going on and the blurry effect took that away.

Why was that choice made for it?

Titling looked fantastic..
 
ok, im like, a year late on this. but honestly, it needs to be said, the blurryness was not bad at all. i was actually about to mention it first before everything on how much i liked it. and how well it worked. for some really odd reason, the monotone acting worked. maybe ur lucky the characters (as ive perceived them so far) would talk like that. u can really work ur scenes, however, u need better content. thats about it. second half kinda through me off, maybe its cuz im not rly into that kinda stuff. nice looking material though, good luck with future projects.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top