SHORT: Treasure

[rahulvictor]

Hey guys, this is my latest short film and I'd love to get your feedback on any aspect of it so I can continue to grow as a filmmaker. The film is inspired by yuppie San Francisco life and neorealism. It was made for a few hundred bucks and a small crew of people.

Link: https://vimeo.com/36623263

Writer/Director/Producer - Rahul Victor
Cinematographer - Mitchell Wright
Assistant Camera/Gaffer - Kevin Custer
Compositor - Jerome Chagnon
Sound Recordist - Winson Church

Music - Sigur Ros (Kafari)

Arman - Zachary Culbertson
Sarah - Laya Adibsereshki
Friend (Voice) - Anuj Kucheria
Newscaster - Daphne O'Neal

Shot on location in San Francisco on a Canon 7D​

 

[rahulvictor]

DVD Cover:

 

[dre83]

shot on the cellphone is little bit to long.

Moving ashes is nice when cellphone vibrates

When he lifts himself up (00:53), because Mitchel wanted to follow him but anticipated a little bit to late it looks like a "mistake".
So a 2nd take would have been better where Mitchel could anticipate on it, or ask the actor not to go that high..

"it's only been 2 weeks" (sound), there's some "suddenly sound" right after this phrase...

In the ambiance: the cars move from left to right... This is the sound of street environment outside but with a EQ, high cut ?
I have some "doughts" here...but difficult to explain. Some keywords: to loud, to much "the windows are open" effect rather then "I'm inside with the
windows closed and hear cars outside" effec, and the "left to right moving cars" are not always continuous... if the camera angle moves depending on
where the windows are... It could be right, but I'm a bit douting (or dauting or dhougthing or dhaugtnig...daughting...you know what I mean )/confused/etc....

It's an ambience of 2 minutes you putted in loop ? (the cars)

Outside in the park, I hear to much left...

In general, it needs some better mixing.

 

[rahulvictor]

shot on the cellphone is little bit to long.

Moving ashes is nice when cellphone vibrates

When he lifts himself up (00:53), because Mitchel wanted to follow him but anticipated a little bit to late it looks like a "mistake".
So a 2nd take would have been better where Mitchel could anticipate on it, or ask the actor not to go that high..

"it's only been 2 weeks" (sound), there's some "suddenly sound" right after this phrase...

In the ambiance: the cars move from left to right... This is the sound of street environment outside but with a EQ, high cut ?
I have some "doughts" here...but difficult to explain. Some keywords: to loud, to much "the windows are open" effect rather then "I'm inside with the
windows closed and hear cars outside" effec, and the "left to right moving cars" are not always continuous... if the camera angle moves depending on
where the windows are... It could be right, but I'm a bit douting (or dauting or dhougthing or dhaugtnig...daughting...you know what I mean )/confused/etc....

It's an ambience of 2 minutes you putted in loop ? (the cars)

Outside in the park, I hear to much left...

In general, it needs some better mixing.

Thanks Dre, it's great to get a sound expert's opinion because I do take it very seriously. I should be able to improve some of those mixing issues hopefully. The traffic is comprised of two loops which are spliced in/out with a low pass filter, agreed it's a little too loud. Also agreed the park is a little too much left, I'm going to balance that out as well.