Transylmania

Transylmania

  • I've already seen it, and loved it. Can't wait to see it again.

    Votes: 1 16.7%

  • I have my tickets in hand. So excited I may wet myself.

    Votes: 4 66.7%

  • I'm standing in line to buy my tickets.

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Making plans to see it a second time.

    Votes: 1 16.7%
  • Total voters
    6
Okay, wait -- in the first post you said you "will not go" to see it. Heresy, I say.

Are you saying you repented, and that you and the wookie went and supported this fine example of independent filmmaking?

And, if so, I think we all expect (nay, DEMAND) an in-depth review!
 
I will neither confirm nor deny my attendance.

I will simply encourage everyone to see this film for themselves. No review, no matter how well-crafted, could ever capture the true breadth or depth of the Hillenbrand Brothers work.

Some films speak for themselves and demand to be seen.
 
You are depriving us of some true comedy. Your review of how you were so violated by "King Cobra" pretty much turned it into the must-netflix film of 2009. So, come on, spill it... how does it rate in comparison to, perhaps, Pinata: Survival Island?

Okay, side trip, but I once worked with someone in the cast of Transylmania, Musetta Vander. That puts me only one degree of separation from the Hillenbrands...
 
Last edited:
gobots:battle of the rock lords did that badly? wtf how did that happen- that is going in my netflix queue
 
Rise Up!

Rise Up!

In the midst of a bleary, cold Central Texas afternoon, I take a break and resume my hourly search for "Transylmania" news. And what do I find at www.denofgeek.com…

Weekend US box office report: Record-breaking failure for Transylmania

Ron Hogan

 Sandra Bullock defeats Twilight New Moon, while Transylmania bombs in spectacular style...

Published on Dec 7, 2009
The story of this weekend's box office isn't what films made money. Hitting a traditional between holiday lull, the box office was fairly weak, but that's no explanation for the spectacular failure of Transylmania. The vampire-themed comedy reeked like a bad spoof, and, thankfully, audiences stayed away in groves. Transylmania's 1000+ opening screens netted the film a staggeringly low $274,000. That means, every screening Transylmania netted about $272. That's the lowest gross EVER for a movie opening in over 1000 screens!


All I can say about this is... thank you. Thank you, America. Thank you so, so much for killing this movie before it got started. I'm sure everyone involved is wonderful, but... yeah, no. The spoof is dead. I love the genre when it's smart, but it hasn't been worth watching in many years.

Okay, now I don't know who this "Ron Hogan" is, or even if that's his real name. (Judging from how virulent his distaste for the latest Hillenbrand Brothers opus is, I'd say he's hiding behind a pseudonym.)

What I do know is this… The Hillenbrands each have an IMDB page, Mr. Hogan. And you do not. Therefore, you do not exist. When the story of this world is written, and the sun has coughed its last rays of energy before collapsing into red dwarfism, the Hillenbrands will have entertained, by box office count, at least ten or twenty people, the brave souls who went to see "Transylmania."

What will be the final sum of your life, Mr. Hogan?
 
Last edited:
Stephen you should have asked for your money back.
This movie http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zyzzyx_Road grossed a whopping $30, the producer had to refund $10 back (so $20 gross), the people who requested the refund were the makeup girl who worked on it and her friend.

I'd say Transylmania is a huge sucess :)
 
You're my boy, ChipG. But that film was doomed from the beginning. I mean, look at the cast, as opposed to the cast from Transylmania…

"Zyzzyx Road "Transylmania"
Tom Sizemore Patrick Cavanaugh
Katherine Heigl Jennifer Lyons

When your marketing/distribution approach is to start small and grow larger each week, you need to build the film around "unknowns." You can't cast Hollywood heavyweights like Sizemore and Heigl and expect the audience to "discover" your film.

And keep in mind that "Zyzzyx Road" has grossed $368,000 worldwide, which means that the latest tour-de-force by the Hillenbrands has a long way to go to match that box office mojo.

But my fingers are crossed.
 
Hey Chip, it's really not fair to use Zyzzyx Road's US Box Office results to prop up Transylmania since the producers of Zyzzyx Road four-walled it to keep it legal with SAG. Lots of low budget movies do this so they can work under a SAGIndie low budget contract. :Drogar-BigGrin(DBG)

Zyzzyx Road was shown once a day at noon for six days (February 25 through March 2, 2006) at Highland Park Village Theater in Dallas, Texas, a movie theater rented by the producers for $1,000. The limited release was deliberate: Grillo was uninterested in releasing the film domestically until it underwent foreign distribution, but needed to fulfill the U.S. release obligation required by the Screen Actors Guild for low-budget films
Click to expand...

It's also really amazing that they were able to get Sizemore to show up for the whole movie. :shocked:
 
So, Blaine, what did you think of "Transylmania"? Is there the same fervor and excitement on the left coast as there is here on DVXUser?
 
I never heard of it OR the Hillenbrands until this thread.

I see it's actually showing at Ontario Mills 30. Of course, they need content to put on those 30 screens.

I think I'm going to pass...perhaps when it comes out on Netflix. I'm tempted to see King Cobra after your review, though. Can ANY movie be that bad?
 
Blaine said:
Hey Chip, it's really not fair to use Zyzzyx Road's US Box Office results to prop up Transylmania since the producers of Zyzzyx Road four-walled it to keep it legal with SAG. Lots of low budget movies do this so they can work under a SAGIndie low budget contract. :Drogar-BigGrin(DBG)



It's also really amazing that they were able to get Sizemore to show up for the whole movie. :shocked:
Click to expand...

I agree :) I just thought it was funny, 1 theater vs. 1,000 but it did have a per screen average :) of $20 after the refund.

Edit: Blane, I'd think they would have to of shot the whole movie in 1 day with a shock collar on a certain actor to complete it.
 
Last edited:
Barry_Green said:
Exhibit A: Turbo, A Power Rangers Movie.
Click to expand...

Okay. Point taken.

There's a movie (really loose interpretation of the word) that I bought from a member here on DVXUser (movie and user to remain nameless) that is so bad it still brings roars of laughter from everyone I show it to.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top