Traitor

[DaneFoster]

Alright, So I've "lurked" dvxuser for long enough and thought I'd finally share one of my short films. I made this film called, "Traitor" in my efforts to get into college for film (Emerson College, NYU, Vassar).

Story:

Traitor tells the story of a loner runaway and former gang member XXXX. After killing his boss, Jimmy , and stealing the mysterious case, XXXX seeks protections from rival gang leader . However, Nothing is as it seems, as XXXX soon realizes that enemies do not quickly become allies, and everyone holds a grudge. Can XXXX save his precious case, or more importantly, his life? Watch your back. Trust no one. Everything is a line.

Directors: Dane Foster
Andrew Knopp
Cast: Michael Bloom (Rival Gang Leader)
Codey Foster (XXXX)
Willie Myers (Body Gaurd)
Andrew Knopp (Jimmy)

I (Dane Foster) did the lighting, sound, editing and camera work. The Film was Shot on Sony VX-2100. I'm 17 and a senior in high school.


DVD Cover:
http://www.geocities.com/dam_productions/TraitorDVDcover.jpg

Traitor (Short Film)
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2910673309923825051&q=Traitor+DAM


Thanks
(Suggestions and Critique would be great)

 

[Jon Starr]

It was okay. Not to put it down, but I didn't enjoy it that much. But I'm assuming it's one of your first movies? Being 17 just out of high shcool, this is pretty good though.

Just hope the program you're going for isn't a more artistic one. One thing I learnt for more artistic programs is that they won't want Guns, Blood, Suicide, Drugs or Music Videos, because everyone seems to make them and they're all the same. If it's more technical, then I can't say. I'd assume they get lots of these types of videos though for both technical and artistic film programs.

Not trying to put you down, just if you don't get into the program and try again the next year or semester, be sure to keep these things in mind.

I liked some of the shots though. Some of the chase shots were pretty good. Especially near the begining when he ran across the parking lot and we were following from far away. I also liked the B&W in the parking lot when the main character shoots the guy. Some nice angles there. You have the talent, the eye, just need to develop it.

Try to avoid those shots where it's just a straight on close up of the face, like with the main guy near the begining as he stares. I think he was staring into the camera. Common mistake and often looks a bit comical.

Zooms are a no no. Only use a zoom if you know how to use it and you have a ring built onto the camera to help control your zooms. If you want to close onto an actors face, then shoot a close-up and cut to that. This is why you should always shoot the master of the scene then mediums and close-ups and extreme close-ups. So you can cut to the close-ups.

Wish there wasn't so much of a chase scene and more music in the slow parts. The chase scene should be more exciting if you're going to drag it on for so long.

Also I could see the shadow of the car (with the camera in it) at one point when we were following one of the guys.

Acting was so-so. Pretty good for high school kids though. Of course it was a bit unbeleivable cause they were high school kids, but I'm used to seeing shorts like that.

The shot where we see the guy in the car, wish the shot was a bit more clear. Also maybe a shot that cuts to the came angle in the B&W to help people realize it's the same guy. I mean I got the message that it was the same guy, but still.

The sound was a bit bad. Hard to make out sometimes. Try to work with sound levels maybe.

Aside from that, it was okay. Just I've seen too many student film makers making something with guns, traitors, mobsters, etc... Just try to make something more original next time.