"Three Step Plan" - khmuse

khmuse

khmuse

Tech Guru
The number of issues we had creating this short were considerable, mostly logistical ones which result from utilizing young talent. There are so many things that I would like to have changed, but the great thing about a hard deadline is that you can't; you have to prioritize the time that is available and manage the resources that you have. How well we accomplished any of this is up to the viewer as I no longer feel that I can be objective about my own project (all I can see is the flaws and things that I would change). Any feedback would be most welcome.
 
KH, I though you had a really good script, one of the most polished. It was a good three act structure, with competent hooks and all the stuff scripts should be about. What I think is the greatest complement to the script is that the ending is surprising when you watch it, even being so obvious upon further analisys...

I loved the gags, especially at the movie theater. The only thing I think is kind of lame, is the resolution of the film happening off screen. I know it was the cheap way of doing it, but it kind of felt you were pushing it a little. Still I really liked it, and I liked how it was shot, wth it's 80's summer/afternoon TV movie feel...

Good Work, dude!
 
Hey taubkin,

Thanks for the feedback and comments. I can take no responsibility for the script, but I am very pleased with this aspect of the film. We were lucky in that we had a young talented writer (just 17) contributing to the project.

If I am understanding you correctly, the silhouette framing didn't work for you? This is probably a place where we could have used shallower DOF, but the time we had at our locations were very limited (we had to work around the cleaning crews) so it was all I could come up with on the fly. Any clarification on this would be appreciated (after all, this was intended to be a learning experience), this scene almost didn't end up in the final edit.

Thanks again for the feedback.
 
No, no, no! Nothing aggainst sillouettes!

I don't want to spoil this, so I'll send you a PM!

Cheers!
 
taubkin said:
OMG, 17?! That was a really good script man! You did some great talent hunting for this! :)
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Didn't have to look too far, the writer is my oldest daughter, but thanks!
 
LOL! You have a 17 year old daughter that is a scriptwriter? You shouldn't talk about those things here, it's like tossing her on a tank filled with starving piranha's! :)

Awesome, man, your daughter is very talented!
 
Yeah, I know what you mean. What is even worse for me is that my youngest daughter (16) is a working actor (she played the lead female role in this short) and lately she has been getting entirely too much attention on set for my taste!

Thanks again for the comments!
 
I really enjoyed your short, and agree with taubkin's earlier comments about structure. It was a sweet story with wonderful young actors. It's my favorite so far after watching about 10 others. Great job!
 
Hey d-Unit,

Thanks so much for the comments. I know it could have been so much better, but we couldn't do pickup shots at one of our locations, so we were forced to use only our principal shots, forced a few editing choices that I would have liked to change, but sometimes you don't get those options. Glad you enjoyed the story and acting. For me, that's what is most important.
 
Hey
I really liked the story and the narraration went well with it. I thought it was all lit very well. The only nitpicky thing I have is when he dug the girl up out of the grave she would have been stiff as a board with her arms crossed and her neck tightened.. but that is just minor stuff.. I guess if thats the only problem than it was pretty good.
Brian
 
This is also my favorite so far. But I'm not sure why. I think it's because this is the first one I have seen so far that I actually like the characters. Not that I didn't like the characters in others but I feel like you get to know these two in such a short amount of time. And you care to see what happends to them. The whole thing feels small and sweet which is a hard thing to pull off in a zombie festival. It looked great and had a good story. Nice job. I really liked it.
 
Hey Brian,

Thanks for the feedback on our film. As for your comments, I was responsible only for the look of the film as I know that I am not nor will ever be a director, so we brought in someone that I really trust to take over this task; but I am glad that you liked the lighting, I worked hard on this and was also pretty happy with the results. Regarding the lack of ‘rigor mortis’, what we really wanted a fairly "fresh" corpse as this was really about the relationship between the two main characters, the fact that one started out dead was kind of secondary. I am not sure how well it came across, but her arm was supposed to be dragging on the ground when she was being pulled in the wagon, so that was part of the “pose” she was in. I know that there were so many things we could have done better, but as the cast (and most of the crew other than myself) were young, the logistics of getting everyone together as well as coordinating the locations made for some difficult scheduling. Glad you liked the voice over approach; it seemed to be the only way to move the story forward at a pace that would allow its entire telling within the 5 minutes allowed. Thanks again for the feedback!

Hey Rigby,

Wow, your favorite so far! I am very pleased as I wasn't certain if anyone would like our non traditional approach to a zombie film. Rather than trying for the best gore or the most headshots in a given period of time, we wanted to do a character driven piece. Making a low budget film seems to be all about utilizing resources that are available to you. In our case it was access to talent, so that, combined with establishing the locations before the script was even begun, gave us some pretty hard constraints that the writer had to work within. I am generally pleased with most of the film, but there were areas that we could have done much better (folly being one). Thanks again for your posting, we all really appreciate your input.

Thanks,

Kevin
 
KHMuse:

I'll echo the comments praising the script. I liked it, and though the dialog at the very start was a tad stilted that might've been inexperienced actors rather than a script fault.

I would suggest some more work getting the light levels up: the contrast of the picture is fairly flat. This can be worked on in post-production, too, but best done by having good lighting. You can always darken for mood later if you need to!

Audio, that ever-overlooked arena, was reasonable, though again: the younger talent in the opening scenes didn't project well to be picked up by your mics. The voiceover is well recorded, though, and some of the sounds (couldn't tell if they were foley effects or live) were well done.

Keep at it!
 
Hey Doug,

Thanks for the feedback. We had a mixed bag as far as talent went. The two main actors are very experienced with lots of TV and feature film credits. The two girls sitting at the table ordering pizza, were not. One did have some theater experience, the other was a friend of one of the other actors so we gave her a role. Hopefully, the humor still came across. After about 12 takes on that scene, we decided to move on despite their delivery being a little too low in relationship to the main actor, if I remember correctly it was a mix of boom and lav on that one so I will certainly look into it again to see if it could be improved a little more. I think the compression is not helping the audio as it sounds notably better in the edit bay.

The contrast is actually very high on most of the shots, the compression doesn't really show it off at all. The lighting setups were pretty extensive and all the scenes hit both the min and max limits. I did pull the contrast down in post, a little more so for the on line version as it compressed up a bit better. Hopefully, the DVD version will show off the real look of this project.

There were a lot of folly sounds added, some are pretty subtle, glad that they seemed to work for you.

Thanks again for the feedback and glad you liked the script.
 
No doubt this one was one of the best I've seen so far(I've seen about half). Great job and good luck in the contest.
 
Hey
I was just making a joke about the whole dead person being stiff and all. It didnt really take away from the story or anything. I was just saying that is the only thing that made me wonder. and if that is the only thing that it was pretty good. Once again this one was really well done and I scored it high. I liked the guy in the story. One thing I might have to go back and watch because maybe I missed it was how the guy died. I guess he slipped. I may have been tired and forgot. Keep up the good work
Brian
 
Hectorxd said:
Hey
One thing I might have to go back and watch because maybe I missed it was how the guy died. I guess he slipped. I may have been tired and forgot. Keep up the good work
Brian
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Good observation. This was an area of the film that we ended up changing at the last moment while on location. It was originally an accident with a knife, but the director didn't like the way that the blocking was working out, so we did an impled fall off camera. As was pointed out to us later, this should have been better set up with another shot establishing the stairs or a trip or something, however, we failed to see this when in the middle of shooting. This is a risk that you take when you go off script, that you will miss a detail that should have been there. I hope that the implication based upon the sound of falling of camera came across, but yeah it could have been better if we didn't have to think on our feet.

Thanks again, you have a good "eye" for story!
 
Great story and dialogue. I liked the opening scene a lot. The conversation between the two girls seemed quite natural. The lead actor did a very good job and presented himself as a likeable character within a short space of time.

I thought the ending was a bit predictable but overall it was a very enjoyable film to watch, well done!
 
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