The Urban Explorer- Episode One- FEEDBACK NEEDED!
- Thread starter jjbeans
- Start date
Jon Starr
Veteran
Strong intro, very cool, but the music was a tad weak.
As we continue, great opening shot, but it begins to drag. The intro already took so long, now we have a second intro. I think it took about a minute before the narration began. This is the internet, you need to grab people within the first 10-30 seconds or else they're gone.
The editing is really weak. Too many cross dissolves and fade outs/ins. A simple cut works better and doesn't feel too amateurish. It's about feeling where the cut should come. A fade or cross-dissolve is for a reason. It can be to help set a mood, maybe for a specific look (only if you know when it works), and to help signify a change of time. On top of that, fades and cross-dissolves work mainly when they're long. Fast ones are just sloppy and don't work very well.
The graffiti... okay the music is just too much. Honestly I see graffiti as a hidden beauty. I love urban graffiti areas. Yes it's a nuisance, but to accompany it with very dramatic music just makes it seem like you're trying too hard to find something 'wrong'.
The homeless... now the music is really epic and dramatic... it's too much. Am I feeling sorry for the homeless? Or are the homeless people the problem? Make that clear, and use music that's not so over the top.
Finally something to be freaked out about. The murder/accident. Okay, it works a bit better here. The shot of the knife was a bit weird, and that blood looked... not like blood.
At the end you talk about the beauty of the bridge... but I'm looking at a beach as you talk about it... hrmmm
Over-all this is pretty cool. A bit too long for the content provided, especially for a web series. I've learned the hard way with my web series, the shorter the better. This is the internet where people surf through videos like they do TV channels or radio stations. So keep it tight.
Watch your cross-disolves and fades. The narration was pretty decent, though it felt like you were trying too hard to find something wrong. I mean you look under any bridge and it's riddled with graffiti and homeless people living there. I think you should have gone straight to the "murder," but leaving us to decide was a bit corny.
Hope you've got some more cooler urban areas. Man if you were in Montreal I could think of at least three amazing spots. Just thinking about the miles of pitch black abandoned tunnels, sewers, under bridges and over passes, man so many cool places. Find somewhere REALLY cool, massive, interesting. Maybe show a map in case people want to explore, etc...
As we continue, great opening shot, but it begins to drag. The intro already took so long, now we have a second intro. I think it took about a minute before the narration began. This is the internet, you need to grab people within the first 10-30 seconds or else they're gone.
The editing is really weak. Too many cross dissolves and fade outs/ins. A simple cut works better and doesn't feel too amateurish. It's about feeling where the cut should come. A fade or cross-dissolve is for a reason. It can be to help set a mood, maybe for a specific look (only if you know when it works), and to help signify a change of time. On top of that, fades and cross-dissolves work mainly when they're long. Fast ones are just sloppy and don't work very well.
The graffiti... okay the music is just too much. Honestly I see graffiti as a hidden beauty. I love urban graffiti areas. Yes it's a nuisance, but to accompany it with very dramatic music just makes it seem like you're trying too hard to find something 'wrong'.
The homeless... now the music is really epic and dramatic... it's too much. Am I feeling sorry for the homeless? Or are the homeless people the problem? Make that clear, and use music that's not so over the top.
Finally something to be freaked out about. The murder/accident. Okay, it works a bit better here. The shot of the knife was a bit weird, and that blood looked... not like blood.
At the end you talk about the beauty of the bridge... but I'm looking at a beach as you talk about it... hrmmm
Over-all this is pretty cool. A bit too long for the content provided, especially for a web series. I've learned the hard way with my web series, the shorter the better. This is the internet where people surf through videos like they do TV channels or radio stations. So keep it tight.
Watch your cross-disolves and fades. The narration was pretty decent, though it felt like you were trying too hard to find something wrong. I mean you look under any bridge and it's riddled with graffiti and homeless people living there. I think you should have gone straight to the "murder," but leaving us to decide was a bit corny.
Hope you've got some more cooler urban areas. Man if you were in Montreal I could think of at least three amazing spots. Just thinking about the miles of pitch black abandoned tunnels, sewers, under bridges and over passes, man so many cool places. Find somewhere REALLY cool, massive, interesting. Maybe show a map in case people want to explore, etc...