The Traitor by Mark Harris

Mark, I really enjoyed this. The stakes were raised immediately and your vivid discription of Kas's frightened actions and appearance really helped establish the cat and mouse apsects.

I agree that I saw the ending coming once Kas started getting Stan to confess his own treachery. This could probably be allieviated by way of some structural changes though. Maybe if the tables were turned later and the consequences somehow happened quickly after that, the audience wouldn't have time to get ahead of the story.

Loved the history between the two, the psychological warfare, the turn of phrase. All good stuff. I'd love to see this made. Especially since the location seems so dangerous. A chase on a frozen lake? Intense.

Good job!
 
I really enjoyed the script! I had comments, but they've all been said by Isaac and others. As Isaac said, it is very theatrical, so it is a little dialogue heavy. It made me think though, that if you changed the location to anywhere other than a frozen pond, you could turn this into a kick-ass one-act play. Great work!
 
Wow, now this is a ****in good script. Solid writing, good storytelling, pretty natural dialogue and a good twist. I enjoyed every second of this one. Can't really complain.
 
Back
Top