THE TIME TYRO -- a Jeffery, Hanna, Stebbins extravaganza

Cute movie, Alex.

My only problems were Father Time...too young. (You gave him white facial hair but left the head hair blond for the most part. And the scene in front of the TV was a bit dark. You could have used the TV as a motivated light source to light their faces up a bit more.
 
Hey Alex,

Enjoyed your short VERY much. You were great in front of the camera, by the way.

Couple of things:

1) I'm a little uncertain of who the "Time Tyro" is. Is he an apprentice? Is he a guy chosen for the position or maybe actually the son of Father time? Not a big deal, but it might have been nice to get a bit more info.

2) Shot at :33 could really use some set dressing or at least maybe some tighter framing in my opinion.

3) Is that part of your lighting kit at :49?

4) At the beginning are you just going through the motions without the girl present as a "rehearsal" or are we to assume this is sort of "out of synch" and we just can't see her? I was just a little confused with that.

Otherwise, a great little film with a lot of fun. I especially LOVED father time's exit!!!!

***

EDIT: p.s., when I tried to click to your "discussion" from the viewing page it kept taking me to some thread discussing adapters. You may want to see if Larry can fix that link!
 
This film amused me very much. I liked the clocks when they jumped on the walls and there were some nice close ups from the wine glasses. Also the mimic of the boy and the girl I enjoyed. I think that it is nice ironic film - if it would be not ironic, the main actors couldn't be for me really realistic, because there are still kids and kids don't drinking a glass of rosé!
Very funny! Compliments.

Susanne
 
It seemed to me you skirted the line between camp and semi-serious. You should've went all out camp. Just my opinion. Story was a little difficult to follow. Shots were good. Lighting probably needed I guess more fill to kill those shadows but again I'm not a technical person.
 
Mark Johnson said:
Hey Alex,

Enjoyed your short VERY much. You were great in front of the camera, by the way.

Couple of things:

1) I'm a little uncertain of who the "Time Tyro" is. Is he an apprentice? Is he a guy chosen for the position or maybe actually the son of Father time? Not a big deal, but it might have been nice to get a bit more info.

2) Shot at :33 could really use some set dressing or at least maybe some tighter framing in my opinion.

3) Is that part of your lighting kit at :49?

4) At the beginning are you just going through the motions without the girl present as a "rehearsal" or are we to assume this is sort of "out of synch" and we just can't see her? I was just a little confused with that.

Otherwise, a great little film with a lot of fun. I especially LOVED father time's exit!!!!

***

EDIT: p.s., when I tried to click to your "discussion" from the viewing page it kept taking me to some thread discussing adapters. You may want to see if Larry can fix that link!
Click to expand...

Mark, thank you so much for the in-depth review! The Time Tyro is supposed to be a combination of an apprentice and Father Time's son, and I completely agree that it needed to be much clearer. You're right that the beginning was supposed to be things out of synch. Again, should have been much clearer. And yes, our lighting kit (aka kyle's work lights) do pop into frame once. *Bad Alex*

O2 was very inspiring! I hope we can work on something together again at some point.
 
I think this also would have benefited from launching more into the camp world. I was confused about who the Time Tyro was and thought the final cussing was distracting bu the pemise was funny and the slow motion spring break lines were classic! haha Good job!
 
msconce said:
I think this also would have benefited from launching more into the camp world. I was confused about who the Time Tyro was and thought the final cussing was distracting bu the pemise was funny and the slow motion spring break lines were classic! haha Good job!
Click to expand...

Thanks for your critique!

Was the final cussing distracting because it didn't fit the mood? Or what?
 
My favorite part was the cheesy interaction between Time Tyro and Father Time, personally. Overall, I didn't get a full sense of the plot, however. If things were out of sync in the beginning, then the Time Tyro's job is to ensure things stay in sync? I didn't really understand his purpose; perhaps some dialogue with father time could clear this up?

There were some hard shadows on the walls in some shots; I'm assuming this is due to budget lighting. I can't really offer any advice, since it's still something I need to handle on my own films. But it did call attention to itself.

Cool concept, and definitely some funny moments, but I think it needed more to hold it together as a cohesive short film.
 
I have to say the actress is beautiful ;-) However the story is confusing. I'm not sure about the role of the lead actor. I'd love to see some more details about why he was there and why he chose that couple. The lighting can be improved especially in eliminating the shadows. The sofa scene also needs more lighting. Overall I think you have a good idea. It just needs a little more adjustments to make it look smooth. Nice job!
 
Thanks for the feedback, guys!

I agree with what everyone is saying and taking it into account for next time.

After the fest I'm gonna post the unabridged version of the film and see if that clears anything up.
 
Ooh boy. The costume on father time rocks just as much as his spin move exit. J
The time tyro is such a horn dog and the music sounds straight from napoleon dynamite which seems to fit the film perfectly.
Congrats on entering the fest.
 
If he was a Time Tyro couldn't he've gone back and made sure the turkey wasn't burnt?
Didn't like the 'F' word at the end, didn't really seem necessary, maybe just a roll of eyes and annoyed look.......
thought the actresses hair was a bit untidy, but then I guess that's just my opinion, and who am I to talk, my hair is always messy ;o)
Thankyou
 
Hey,

Just caught the flick. Ireally enjoyed the premise of this one and thought some of your shots were nice. I thought the acting worked for the most part and I, for one, really liked Father Time's make-up/prostethics/whatever you would call them. Kinda reminded me of Master Roshi from Dragon Ball Z.

Unfortunately, I didn't think this film worked, at least not with it's own premise. I don't think the Time Tyro's use of time worked to bring these people together and the way he "controlled" time (while I did enjoy his 'orchastrating' it the way he does) didn't sell it for me. I think this is a hard concept and needs some work to make it actually work. For me, it just seemed like he sped up and slowed down parts of the actions/dialogue, etc. but that didn't actually seem to have an effect on the outcome. Like, I'm not sure how speeding up time saves you from burning the turkey, for instance. Stuff like that.

Overall I thought this was a neat idea with an interesting premise that left something to be desired in it's execution. Hope that helps.

P.S. Not sure if your thread is linked properly to the voting page. Might want to look into that.
 
Hey thank you so much for the in-depth feedback!

I completely agree with you 100% as I think I sort of rushed this project.

I would love to go back and establish more rules as to HOW he controls time, and use them to bring the couple together when he finally matures up.

Again, thanks for the great feedback.

Alex
 
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