The problem with star wars..(SPOILERS)

M

machardi

Well-known member
Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

Scene 1. Anakin and Obi-Wan vs Dooku.

Anakin and Obi-Wan fight Dooku. Palpatine watches.

Anakin wins, and has Dooku in submission.

PALPATINE: Kill him!
ANAKIN : That goes against the Jedi Code!
PALPATINE: Oh come on, kill him.
ANAKIN : Well. Alright.

Scene 2. Anakin and Obi-Wan vs Grievous.

Anakin and Obi-Wan chase General Grievous.

GRIEVOUS: I am entirely robotic. Except for my lungs which process air. This allows me
to have a sickly gasp, and everyone knows you aren't a star wars villain
without a sickly gasp.

They fight. Grievous blasts open a window.

GRIEVOUS: I will escape through the vacuum of space, because I am a robot, and I can
do that.
OBI-WAN : What about your lungs?
GRIEVOUS: Shhh. You're watching too closely.

Scene 5 - Padme & Anakin.

ANAKIN: Padme, I love you so much.
PADME: How much?
ANAKIN: A LOT!
PADME: Wow. I'm pregnant.
ANAKIN: I love you so much. Lets hug.

Scene 8 - Grievous vs. Obi-Wan

GRIEVOUS and OBI-WAN fight.

GRIEVOUS: Surprise! 4 arms. If I were to strike you with all 4 at once, you couldn't
parry them all. You would lose.

Obi wan defeats grievous.

Scene 10 - The Jedi Council

WINDU: Alright Anakin, we are letting you take part of the jedi council.
OBIWAN: You're the youngest person to be on the council!
ANAKIN: Sweet. Can I be a master too?
OBIWAN (and all): What? No. You're way too young, isn't being on the council enough?
ANAKIN: Is it because you don't trust me?
YODA : You're too young.
OBIWAN: You're too young.
WINDU : You're too young.

Scene 14 - The pre-seduction of Anakin.

PALPATINE: Any idea why they won't let you on the council?
ANAKIN : Nope.
PALPATINE: They don't trust you, I trust you. Want some candy?

Scene 15 - The inexplicably quiet scene. (Truly in the movie!)

Padme looks out the window.
Anakin looks out the other window.
Anakin cries.
C3PO walks over to Padme.

Scene 18 - The pivotal moment. Anakin converts to the darkside. He gives up all of his jedi ideals, everything he's been taught to believe, everything that informs all of his actions and his hopes, and fears and goals and aspirations. It's this scene that causes the entire galaxy to shift to evil, and creates the entire star wars saga.
This is the MOST important scene of ALL of starwars.

PALPATINE: Will you join the dark side?
ANAKIN: I shouldn't.
PALPATINE: C'mon.
ANAKIN: Okay, I'll do whatever you ask.
PALPATINE: Go kill all the baby Jedi.
ANAKIN: Sounds good.

Scene 24 - Order 66

The Emperor tells all the troops to turn on the Jedi, who have turned off their "attention to events around them" ability.

Scene 35 - Palpatine and Yoda fight.

Palpatine and Yoda fight to the dea---wait a minute they both have to survive this don't they?

Let's at least see Anakin get mangled then.

Yoda is unable to use the force to stop from falling.

Scene 40 - Obi-Wan and Anakin fight.

Obi Wan wins, cutting off Anakin's legs and arm.

OBIWAN: You were the chosen one!
Anakin writhes in agony.
OBIWAN: It was said that you would destroy the sith not join them!
Anakin catches on fire and screams in pain.
OBIWAN: You were supposed to be the one to bring balance to the force.
ANAKIN: I have no legs.
ANAKIN: AAAAAAAARGGH!!
OBIWAN: I loved you.

Obiwan looks at his life long friend, brother, and apprentice BURNING ALIVE, looks at the lightsaber in his hand, feels a swell of compassion and then WALKS AWAY.

Scene 50 - Obi-Wan and Yoda agree to go into hiding.

OBI-WAN: Why did he turn to the dark side?
YODA: Something about a dream about Padme dying..
OBI-WAN: Why didn't you just tell him that the future was "difficult to see. always in
motion" like you will his son in Episode II? That could've changed
everything.
YODA : Er.. uh.. so, if you need me... I'll be in the dagobah system.
 
LOL!

Oh my gosh that's funny! And pretty darn accurate. Whew! Thanks for a good long laugh!

Chris
 
Perfect analysis of the flaws of this film. The most frustrating part is that they're SOOOOO easy to fix! Why couldn't they have hired a couple of good script doctors to give it a final polishing? I just saw the preview for Ep. III (after already seeing the whole movie) and it made it look so good I almost wanted to see it again! Then I remembered all the flaws. Talk about false advertising...
 
machardi said:
Then go buy a ticket to Episode III, you will LOVE it. Best movie EVER.
Click to expand...

Yeah, thanx, that's what I did on 19th and I loved it. Not the "Best movie EVER", but for sure best of prequels and at least on par with ROTJ, though some rank it as high as ESB.
 
xl70e3 said:
Yeah, thanx, that's what I did on 19th and I loved it. Not the "Best movie EVER", but for sure best of prequels and at least on par with ROTJ, though some rank it as high as ESB.
Click to expand...

(thanks john)

Well then xl70e3, we agree. It is definitely the best of the prequels and almost on par with ROTJ.

INT. SKYWALKER RANCH - ROTJ Preproduction Meeting

LUCAS: "So well...hmm...what haven't we used as a climax yet?"
FRIEND: "Well, we used a death star, and then Luke fought Vader..."
LUCAS: "OOH! Death Star? That sounds goooooood."

FADE TO BLACK.
 
John, I've gotta bust your balls on this one...
You can't possibly blast Star Wars for bad dialogue and unbelievable plotting and situations while praising National Treasure. Dialogue and contrivances don't get any hokier than national Treasure.
Double standard, I say!

I'll go to bat with Trey Parker and Matt Stone on this one: Bruckheimer is making comedies, he just doesn't know it.
 
L O L

THe reality is; I will see it. I will like it. But I am forever scarred due to expectations. It's like the Number 1 Draft Pick being a bust (Think Ryan Leaf) ya know? You expect more. It's like Spielberg; whenever he does anything "You expect the best" and when he fails to deliver (The Terminal? Hook?) it is dissapointing. It's like Cameron not making any real film since Titanic; it's like Coppolla not making a good film since Godfather 2 (I did like Dracula though although not as epic as it could have been).

It's Lucas and Star Wars already. It doesnt feel revolutionary or forward thinking like the orginals or even THX for that matter. Even American Grafitti put me into that world. I feel removed from this new world. It doesnt feel tangilble. IT feels fake; it feels CGI; it feels Green Screen. And aside form Ewan, Ian and Sam Jackson I think the actors are cardboard. I dont know........................

I'm the one busting balls here. I'm not a SW Geek but I am a huge fan of them. The new ones have kust lost it for me however. But... I will see it (Taking my son) and I'm sure I'll come away cool with it.

But damn it; wheres HAN? But really; I will hold ultimate judgement for the finale. The last 2 have been forgettable unfortunately to me.
 
SW3 fails above and beyond bad dialogue and weak plotting. The first two suffered just from those ailments. This one seemed to fail in just really basic filmmaking ways that made the former unforgiveable. To me, it feels like a rough cut, and I hope that maybe he'll finish it for the DVD release.

There are moments where there is no sound, and even though people are walking, there are no footsteps. There are moments when the score seems to just come and go without any real awareness of the story itself. There's a moment when (slight spoiler) the camera cuts away, then cuts to someone who says "I think the elevator isn't working" and then it cuts to some anonymous battle for a second, then it cuts back to the action, and it wakes you up from whatever suspension of disbelief you'd managed to attain. (The whole elevator scene is awkward and stilted).

But I think John has it right, there is too much CGI. I think, that when someone has a CGI set, they feel the need to show it. So every single scene (with people) has the exact same set up, you see a WIDE establishing shot, then you see over the shoulder, over the shoulder, over the shoulder, out.

With the original trilogy, he used sets, and as a result we were able to get some interesting camera shots, and be more immersed in the world, and I think when you're trying to convince people that what they are seeing is real, then you have to put them in the world, physically, and not just show them the world from a far, with millions of bits of data sailing past.

Can you imagine how much LOTR would've sucked if the giant spider's lair was all CGI? Or the fens? Or inside the walls of minas tirith? What's tragic is that I can compare EP3 to a movie with TONS of CGI, and use the reference movie as a stand-in for "the real".... I really think building a real set would have given his actors some kind of a context, and helped make the movie feel more real.

I got CGI burn out, by the time we got to kashyyk, I didn't care, it didn't matter, and it didn't impress me at all.

The weirdest thing is these fan films (thinking Revelations), they are mimicking GL note for note, strengths _AND_ flaws. Why? The cool thing about SW isn't his filmmaking style. It's the vibe, it's the story, it's (to an extent) the technological advances AND limitations. The next great SW fan film will be LO-FI. Put it in the desert. Put it in a jungle. Just don't put it on a CGI set. I don't need space ships, I don't need robots. I just need lightsabers and john williams.

p.s. When you watch it again, and it awkwardly cuts to Palpatine during the battle w/ Dooku and Palp says "YES!", tell me it doesn't make your heart break just a little bit .
 
I thought it was awesome, CGI and all. (slight spoiler)From that first scene with the fighters in battle and the sound of the fighter engines. I was hooked. I thought the CGI landscapes were beautiful. EP3 was so much better than the first two. I also think that HD changes the feel, it has such a different feel than film, but I liked that look. Film reminds me of oil paint and HD is almost like pastels, a much different canvas. Definitely going to catch it again.
 
Personally, I think LOTR had an awful lot of corny dialogue, too. Like just about everything Cate Blanchett said, for example.
 
I saw it Sunday. I loved it. For a star wars, this was everything I wanted out of hte first two. Bad acting and horrid writing were still there, but I didn't care until darth vader said "NOOOOOOOOO!!!!" (worst part in the movie).

But having been with these characters for so long there was no way to not get caught up in what was going on. If they had pulled all three off with the car that Jackson put into LOTR I would have been depressed clinically for months. But because of the bad acting and stilted dialog you STILL only get so far into it.

Its nice to see the movies end anyway.
 
Worst moment in Star Wars history: when Qui-Gonn and Obi-Wan run like little girls when faced with droids that have (*gasp*) SHIELDS! Chumped out the entire Jedi order.

I think that was made up for in Ep III. Major Jedi kick-assitude in many places.
 
Jubal28 said:
Worst moment in Star Wars history: when Qui-Gonn and Obi-Wan run like little girls when faced with droids that have (*gasp*) SHIELDS! Chumped out the entire Jedi order.
Click to expand...

My worst Star Wars moment is when Qui-Gonn tells Ani to "stay in the cockpit". For some reason that just bugs the hell out of me. Why bring a ten year old along to battle in the first place...

As for this thread, you made me laugh a bunch. That was a good read.

I'm happy that people are loving this film. That means it wasn't a waste. I for one felt it was so-so. There were moments where I felt that "movie feeling" but, it came crashing down by some stupid scene or dumb dialogue. It's a hell of a lot better than 1 & 2, and I may check it out again to see if maybe I was just too harsh on it... but here are a few of my thoughts on problems with it:(SPOILERS!!!)




1) The trailers made me think the Wookies played an important role in the movie. Negative. What you see in the trailers is basically what we get in the movie.
2) Anakin's transformation to the dark side. Wouldn't it have made sense to have the Jedi Council expel Anakin from becoming a Jedi because he's married to Padame? Then in an angered state he turns over to the dark side? Cuz the motivation and transformation to the dark side was sooo weak(in my opinion). Some guy tells him he knows how to bring the dead back to life and BAM, he bites! He's spent his entire life devoted to the way of the Jedi, then without any evidence(save the one moment of electricity) he commits himself to the exact opposite of what he's believed in and trained for and built up friendships etc for most of his life.
3) Why wouldn't Dooku rat out Palpatine? Instead, though he is obviously not wanting to die he kneels silently while Palpatine and Anakin have a 5 minute conversation(exaggerrated) on whether he should kill him or not.
4) Same scene... Obiwan should have spent the rest of the movie in intensive care with a broken back.
5) 3-PO use to be funny.
6) I understand fully that Anakin has to survive to become Darth Vader. And I love Darth. But for the life of me, all I thought about was how if Obiwan really loved Anakin as a brother or whatever he said, why wouldn't he walk ten feet and lightsabre the poor guy through the skull and put him out of his misery. Or for that matter, stick around to make sure the damn guy dies so he can't come back to make your life miserable.
7) Padame(worst acting job ever) loses the will to live. I can only assume it's cuz of Anakin becoming a real jerk. Hope no one tells her kids they weren't enough motivation to remain alive!
8) Lastly, why wouldn't Lord Sidious tell Darth that Obiwan murdered Padame, or some other story that could be used to fuel his hatred toward the soon to be rebel forces? I'm with ToiletBob on that NOOOO!! being one lame moment for damn sure.

May the force be with you.
 
As long as we're lising "worst Star Wars moments" how about in Episode I:

Anakin: Master Qui-Gon I've been wondering, what are Midi-Chlorians?
Qui-Gon: Well Anakin Midi-Chlorians are ....

I don't hate this scene because of the Midi-Chlroian reference. I could care less about that. The reason it bugs me is because it should be performed like this:

Anakin: Master Qui-Gon, I've been wondering, what is bad exposition?
Qui-Gon: Well Anakin, bad exposition is what we're engaged in now....

:cheesy:
 
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