"The Pencil" shot with DVX and 35mm adaptor

K

Kyle Shim

Member
Hey guys, my name is kyle and I am a highschool student. I've been working on this film with my friend jake for about four months. So I'd like to have some feedbacks from everyone. Thanks

http://www.visionlabstudios.com/The%20Pencil.html

It's compressed so bear with the low quality.

Once you enter the page, there are two links, watch trailor, and watch movie.
 
Kewl. It really felt like i was watching a film. Great job on that part!

I like the framing and colours but i had a problem with the stretch look. The sound was a little inconsistant and the acting was pretty poor at times.

Nice film though!
 
Kyle, honestly, when you introduced yourself as a HS student, that gave a me sense of what to expect, something very amateur... and when I opened that file, I was blown away. I loved it. I think you and Jake have a good sense of cinematography and story telling. I am glad, you shut me up with your work.

Although there are room for improvement especially in the exposure of your shots and in the editing, I think you managed to make a short of better caliber than some of the work I have seen from college students.

Good job, and keep making films, its looks like its natural for you guys.

Cheers,
 
Sometimes my OSX doesn't like to play Window Media Players (sometimes it does) and I only can get as far as when she picks up her pencil. Seems very good, but do you really need to say "her lucky pencil"? Of course I haven't seen it all. Anyway, nice work!

Marlene
 
Hey man, Sorry Im no expert, so take this with what you will. Shallow DOF I thought was overused or incorrectly used to a nauseating level at times, the sound was up and down but you know that. Im a big fan of copyright protection and Jet being fellow Aussies and all so even for a student film, I thought the copyright violations were a little too much, although I dont think anyone will come knocking on your door about it.

There were some really nice shots in there. I have to say overall I think if you keep at it you could do some great things. I'll admit I am jealous, I wish I had have started at your age.
 
hehe.. that looked pretty good...

its funny how you used the Naruto song when he gets to the icu... noticed that and was all "omg... i know this" :D
 
lol we later changed that Naruto song. And for the copyright issues, we were having a composer to do the music, but time was pressuring us because we had a deadline, so the composer could not finish in a matter of days.
 
Hey all its Jake. As for the copyright issues, this is a student film. Being that we are non-profit(as of now); We have no intentions of making money off this film; I do not think there is really a problem. As Kyle said, we had trouble with the music being composed and our deadline. We are highschool students and do not have the funding that most adults do to pay for a composer. The acting we used are just our friends, since again we have literally no funding to pay actors. Acting wise, it was the best we could do. For the Shallow DOF, we are learning and we both appreciate your comment; We will try to reduce the amount to which we use it. Thank you all for taking the time to view our movie and post your insightful criticism. It is greatly appreciated.
 
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