SHORT: The Mild Inconvenience
- Thread starter Polarjee
- Start date
randin
Well-known member
Well, I love it. 
And its live premiere is next Thursday in Salt Lake City at the new We Like Short Shorts Festival. http://welikeshortshorts.com/
And its live premiere is next Thursday in Salt Lake City at the new We Like Short Shorts Festival. http://welikeshortshorts.com/
Jon Starr
Veteran
Good job, it looked great.
Personally I felt like it had a few problems to really tie it together.
The first big thing was location. I was soooo confused what they were doing at this place. I kept trying to figure it out. Was it a party at someone's house? Or was it some sort of memorial? Why was there a waitress serving coffee and danishes only? Then I though maybe you were trying to mimic a coffee place (which really didn't work). So then why was it a house with a gun on the mantle? The location made me confused more than anything, and the tenis guy stuck out like a sore thumb. Whatever this was, this guy shouldn't have been there. Coffee shop, party, memorial, he just didn't fit. Everything was... strange and confusing. All of this just pulled me out.
Then my problem was with the "inconveniences". If you're trying to parody Final Destination, the deaths in the movie often resembled a Rube Goldberg machine. It's eccentric and overly elaborate. Now it's understandable that you're limited in resources, but using humans in the whole process of things just hitting someone on the head, or dropping something, and not having things directly related (how did the woman dropping a danish make the guy drop his coffee?) kind of ruins the feel of it. It makes it lackluster and seem lazy. Then the gun at the end was loaded? I know it's for fun and a it's a joke, but A LOT of liberties were taken in the writing.
It was well shot and edited though. Some wonderful shots, like the camera 'attached' to the ball as it's being thrown.
Good job. Keep doing it.
Personally I felt like it had a few problems to really tie it together.
The first big thing was location. I was soooo confused what they were doing at this place. I kept trying to figure it out. Was it a party at someone's house? Or was it some sort of memorial? Why was there a waitress serving coffee and danishes only? Then I though maybe you were trying to mimic a coffee place (which really didn't work). So then why was it a house with a gun on the mantle? The location made me confused more than anything, and the tenis guy stuck out like a sore thumb. Whatever this was, this guy shouldn't have been there. Coffee shop, party, memorial, he just didn't fit. Everything was... strange and confusing. All of this just pulled me out.
Then my problem was with the "inconveniences". If you're trying to parody Final Destination, the deaths in the movie often resembled a Rube Goldberg machine. It's eccentric and overly elaborate. Now it's understandable that you're limited in resources, but using humans in the whole process of things just hitting someone on the head, or dropping something, and not having things directly related (how did the woman dropping a danish make the guy drop his coffee?) kind of ruins the feel of it. It makes it lackluster and seem lazy. Then the gun at the end was loaded? I know it's for fun and a it's a joke, but A LOT of liberties were taken in the writing.
It was well shot and edited though. Some wonderful shots, like the camera 'attached' to the ball as it's being thrown.
Good job. Keep doing it.