THE MESSAGE UNIVERSAL (22min. film) UPDATED!

Re: THE MESSAGE UNIVERSAL (22min. film completed)

Re: THE MESSAGE UNIVERSAL (22min. film completed)

Storyteller, you picked your name appropriately. Very artsy way of telling your story. I would say this was the best 1.5 hour download I've done. Acting was top notch, especially Rachel. Very easy to believe she was not reading lines. Props to you and your direction and script. Also as mentioned above, sync rights to the music may keep this film from festivals. That will be a shame if the masses cannot see this work. Because your film deserves an audience!

Please give us the details about shooting schedule, rehearsal and post production time spent to make The Message Universal. Your fans want to know!
 
Re: THE MESSAGE UNIVERSAL (22min. film completed)

Re: THE MESSAGE UNIVERSAL (22min. film completed)

ANOTHER QUICKY REPLY:

Ok, so I need a clone. Busy, busy, busy over here.

Real quick, the site is back up (for now). In the mean time, I'm looking into finding another server for the film so other people can see it without issue. If anyone has a suggestion, feel free to PM me on it. Money isn't an issue for hosting (within reason).

Since the special effect is the most common theme in the posts, I'll address it quickly here:
The intent for those effects was to find something that didn't look like "PREDATOR" vision, but still give the feeling something was stalking the lead actress. And while it's not up to snuff compared to other things I've seen people on this site do, it seems to have done it's job storywise, so I'll leave it as is for now.
Truth is, I agree somewhat with the criticism. All the special effects were done by me with Trapcode plugins in final cut pro. I don't know how to use After Effects (or any other post program) so I was limited with what I could do within the time I had to do it. I was learning FCP as I went along in the editing so it was a learn as you go process.  The biggest issue for me was time, equipment and lack of experience in this matter. I'm running a dual 450mhz mac g4 and rendering was SLOOOOW for me. Every time I made a change, I had to re-render the footage and it was taking days to get something decent looking on the smallest segmented clips. Anyway, that's the reason the special effects aren't as good as they could be. I got tired of waiting, got lazy and went with what worked best the first time around. But hey, you got the story point which is what's most important, right? ;D

I'm saving for a G5 (among other things) and I plan on learning other programs to make my post effects stuff stronger. Overall, this was an exercise to get my feet wet. While somewhere in the back of my mind I thought it would be nice to enter it into a film festival, I really only intended it as a reel piece. The commercial music, as it was pointed out, would make it impossible. I'll talk more about that later when I have more time to post a proper reply.

And yes, there is a behind the scenes featurette. It's a 75 mb download, lol... It was done also with portfolio piece in mind, highlighting me as director so I can convince someone they can trust me with their budget. But it also covers some stuff we did for in camera effects like making the lamp glow. I'll post it at a later date (shot on a PD-150). I'll give more details on the production in the next post. Gotta get back to writing now!

Thanks again guys
 
Re: THE MESSAGE UNIVERSAL (22min. film completed)

Re: THE MESSAGE UNIVERSAL (22min. film completed)

I don't think that the effect was bad - it did convey what you wanted it to convey - I just think that it was a little over used. I'm impressed that you had the patience to wait for all of the renders that you did have to do - I know what you mean about the wait times - I'm slowing saving my pennies for a G5 as wel.

I caint wait to see the behind the scenes footage. I'm very interested. ;D
 
Re: THE MESSAGE UNIVERSAL (22min. film completed)

Re: THE MESSAGE UNIVERSAL (22min. film completed)

Hi Jordan,

I remember when I saw your trailer and your shot from the train at night a while ago and I was looking forward to see your completed film. For a first film, it is a pretty good achievement. I liked it a lot despite some technical problems.

First, I thought there is some differences in the picture quality a long the movie, but there is some really nice photography as the entree in NYC at night. For the effects I just think that it was a little over used too at the beginning. The acting was pretty good and that guy with the tatoo, good acting.

As you said yourself, first time ever in all aspects of a movie and there is a lot to do, you did a very good job for sure and you should be proud of it. Le premier est toujours le plus difficile...Chapeau!!!

Du beau travail, looking forward to see more of your work in the next future.
 
Re: THE MESSAGE UNIVERSAL (22min. film completed)

Re: THE MESSAGE UNIVERSAL (22min. film completed)

wow. nice stuff. kept me watching. love your dolly shot - when the girl runs out from the bathroom. looked like 35mm for those few seconds. nice lighting.
 
Re: THE MESSAGE UNIVERSAL (22min. film completed)

Re: THE MESSAGE UNIVERSAL (22min. film completed)

OK, so the site's down again. Guess this thing is still popular (thankfully). Again, the site will be back up (Monday night) after 12 midnight west coast time. As before, if you opt to download and view it, please leave feedback on the board!

And as promised/threatened, I'll answer some comments in the order they were posted:

BLUESPIDER- Thanks so much for the great comments! I think because of you, others were willing to spend the time on the download so thanks brother! :) But I swear to you, THIS WAS MY FIRST FILM, lol...  If you could (this includes all who mentioned it), I would like to know the technical problems that stood out to you for future reference. But I'm glad to know that whatever they are, it didn't ruin the film for you.

SCHARKY- To answer your first post, I wasn't preparing people for the worst so much as explaining the intent behind the writing. Ya never know what kind of reaction you'll get when you discuss this subject matter these days and it is a hot button topic. I completely agree with you that I have limited myself with what I can do with this short now. I really intended it to just be a reel piece to show what I can do on a low budget and give potential financial backers an idea of my choices as director. I did attempt to get someone to do an original score and gave him a rough cut of this film with the current scoring in place to use as a map for the emotional beats. But he didn't get what I was after and honestly didn't have an understanding of emotion in music.  Knowing this would be a reel piece to show to producers, I knew I had to show my true choices in terms of emotional beats and impact so I just left this in as an example of my vision. If I was working on a funded film, they would know I would look to work with a composer with orchestral experience. Thanks again for the comments and I'm flattered you think I should enter it into festivals.

RJ- Thanks again for the feedback and comments. I'm glad you liked it.  I mean wow, one of the best DV shorts you've ever seen? High praise indeed, I'm flattered. AND YES I AM A "FIRST TIMER", lol... To answer your comments:  The pace of the story in the beginning was deliberate. I found I was stuck between a rock and hard place.  I originally had the pace quickened in an earlier cut and found that people didn't get the idea that this presence was floating into the city to look for and stalk the lead character. So I had to weigh what was more important to the story. 1) have them not completely get that important story point, or 2) have the pace at the beginning be a little slow. Looking at it now, I think I'd cut some of the stuff in the apartment before we dolly across on Natalie to quicken it a tad more. Hell, there's lots of things I'd like to do differently! lol

You're right that we don't know what's going on right away (which was intentional).  I would agree with you on that  issue if this were a linear film. But since it's not, it's one of those things that ties up and is explained later in the film which is how the story was intentionally written.  My view is sometimes, it's ok to start a film out slowly, but you walk a fine line in doing so. Better to have a slower start than a slow ending. If you nail the ending, the audience will walk away satisfied. If you nail everything but the ending, they'll walk away annoyed.

EMBERS.INCMEDIA- Thanks so much for the comments. Glad you enjoyed it. :) PS: man, they confiscated your footage?! That's cold brother... did you finish that flik?

STABB FILMS- Damn boy! Where do I send the check!? lol... Feeling the love, thanks so much for the kind comments. As to when can we see more? I have a first draft of a HORROR short done which I want to shoot and use as a sales tool to seek feature funding for.  Gotta find ways to make this short out here in California now since I relocated in september of 2004. Don't have the same "do me a favor" connections out here as I did back east so I'm working on it. I own a 3 light kit which I used on message universal so that's a start. Gotta work on the rest. Might build myself a dolly out here, but I want to make one that works in small surroundings, etc. It will be fun. I'll let you know how it goes.

WALTIND- Thanks so much! Regarding your question about the lighting, I purchased a smith/victor 600 watt 3 light kit from B&H photo/video for $500.00. Seemed the better choice than renting as the rental cost was nearing that amount anyway. It was a good investment and paid for itself when it came to pick up shots.
About the permit on the street: PERMITS? WE DON'T NEED NO STINKING PERMITS! ...ahem... :) We got lucky that no cops were around when we filmed the scenes (with the gun). HOWEVER... the scenes outside the UN building was a different story. In truth, I went to the UN guards two weeks before shooting to specifically ask them if I would be allowed to shoot across the street. They told me I could do whatever I wanted as long as I was on the street side of the fence. So I did and on the day of the shoot, cops did show up. A cop car pulled up and asked me what was going on. I told him what the UN guard said. Then he asked me for my permit and I told him I was a film student and didn't realize I needed permits. THANK GOD he was a nice guy. His only concern was that he thought we might be a group of protesters. When I told him this was a 9/11 tribute film, he let me go about my business. God bless the NYPD. ;D  About the effect being overused, Well that was the rock and the hard place issue I mentioned above in my response to RJ. Nothin's perfect, right?

MOE_SNODGRASS- Oh man, have you been able to download the film yet? If not, PM me about it.  Regarding the REALLY BIG project, I'm knee deep into writing act 3. Hoping to approach studios and/or directors once I'm finished.

HANS- Thank you SO much for the kind comments. I'm so glad it had the desired affect on you.

GREECHES- Thanks dude. You mentioned audio was quiet on the live news shot? Hmmm... did anyone else think this? Compression could be an issue there. But what transition did you feel needed refinement? Please elaborate for me.

KYLE SHERMAN- Wow, thanks so much for the kind remarks. Did you find the bubble effect annoying throughout the film or just the amount of it in the beginning? GOTTA LEARN AFTER EFFECTS AND GET SOME PLUGINS!!! :) (hell, I need a faster computer too!)  Regarding the behind the scenes stuff, someone just emailed me to generously host the behind the scenes footage for a bit, so it could happen in the near future. I will be sure to post it at some point. Thanks for the interest. If you have any specific production questions, I'd be more than happy to answer them for you.

KIDSTER- WOW... thanks so much man. I guess I'm going to have to start thinking about finding a composer to unleash it into a festival, huh? If anyone knows one who's qualified, feel free to send them my way.  Regarding the shooting schedule: I'll post a comprehensive answer at a later date as I'm running out of free time here.

SHADOW- Thanks for the comments. If you could, please detail some of the technical problems which stood out to you. Could you label an example of where you saw differences in picture quality? I'm not sure what it is you're seeing on your screen and compression was a factor with this so I need more info there to respond to it. Thanks again!

DVPIXL- Thanks so much man, glad you liked it.

I'll respond in more detail to Kidster's request for a production breakdown soon. Thanks again and please keep the feedback coming.
 
Re: THE MESSAGE UNIVERSAL (22min. film completed)

Re: THE MESSAGE UNIVERSAL (22min. film completed)

very nice indeed.

This made me feel even worse about the craptacular short film I made last year... heh...

seriously though, great work. Although I agree with previous comments about the bubble effect deal.. A tad too much. Until you explained it, I had no idea it was supposed to be "searching" the city. I just assumed the "presence" was specifically looking at her all along.. too me it didn't come across that clearly.

Otherwise good job on it.

cheers
 
Re: THE MESSAGE UNIVERSAL (22min. film completed)

Re: THE MESSAGE UNIVERSAL (22min. film completed)

Hi Loki,
Thanks for taking the time to download it and for the feedback. About the bubble thing, perhaps searching isn't the right word (my bad). You got it right in your own assessment. It was looking at her all along after she caught it's attention by performing her obligations in "the bet" (trying not to spoil it for those who haven't watched it yet). It's more like it was heading into the city to her apartment to give her the warning and use her to stop it from happening. Now that I'm thinking about it, man, there's another way I could have cut this to tie into that better... DAMN! lol... oh well, it was an exercise. Who is it that said "films are never finished, they're abandoned"?

Anyway, just got back from a seminar on "MOTION" at the apple store and damn... if I had a computer that could even RUN that program, I'd use it to completely redo the effects, lol... It's so much more intuitive than after effects and appears to have a much easier learning curve. Gotta get a G5, motion, shake... and before I shoot the next one!

Thanks again for the comments. Most kind. :)
 
Re: THE MESSAGE UNIVERSAL (22min. film completed)

Re: THE MESSAGE UNIVERSAL (22min. film completed)

i think it's great for a first time effort

but i personally thought the actor with the tattoo wasn't up to much, he seemed to be over-acting, but it wasn't a huge gripe. everyone else seemed to be good.

i think others have pointed out too, but don't steal other people's music and put it in your films :) it'll prevent you showing it anywhere :)


i think i've been over-critical, i did honestly enjoy it
 
Re: THE MESSAGE UNIVERSAL (22min. film completed)

Re: THE MESSAGE UNIVERSAL (22min. film completed)

the audio could be a little bit crisp, it has alot of ambient noise..other than that this short is awesome bro. Very interesting, nice compositions, good lightning especially in the dark. My favorite shot is the ceiling fan. I really dig it.  
solid work bro.
 
Re: THE MESSAGE UNIVERSAL (22min. film completed)

Re: THE MESSAGE UNIVERSAL (22min. film completed)

[quote author=hiro link=board=Clips;num=1109483800;start=15#29 date=03/02/05 at 18:30:06]the audio could be a little bit crisp, it has alot of ambient noise..other than that this short is awesome bro. Very interesting, nice compositions, good lightning especially in the dark. My favorite shot is the ceiling fan. I really dig it.  
solid work bro.[/quote]

Hiro, thanks so much. Glad you liked it. The one composition which appears to be your favorite happens to be one of three compositions I didn't come up with myself. (the other two was the clock on the wall and the shot of the computer monitors) Those were my DP's choices and I believe in giving true credit where true credit is due. But pretty much everything else was framed by following my storyboards. If you go to my website, you'll get an idea of my compositional thinking from my comic book work.

Regaring the audio:
All the audio was location audio. There were only two lines of ADR in the whole production. I used ambient audio or "room tone" to heal gaps in differences (what does one call outdoor room tone?). Could you explain what you mean by crisp audio though? I have noticed it sounds different depending on the speakers it's being heard through.
 
Re: THE MESSAGE UNIVERSAL (22min. film) UPDATED!

Ok, so because some of you asked, I decided to post the behind the scenes footage from The Message Universal. Now before you watch it, bear in mind this was cut together with a specific purpose: To highlight me as director with the intent of portfolio in mind. The idea being to show a potential investor in future projects of mine they can trust me with at the helm of a production. (fingerz crossed) So if you get the feeling it's like "hey, watch Jordan direct", it's intentional. :D

Anyway, what you're about to watch is actually footage taken from the pick up shots and re-shoots. I didn't have anyone available when we went through our initial shoot. The park scene footage is cut short because a crew member had to split early and the guy shooting the footage put down his camera and generously took his place (not to mention he was worried about his camera getting wet in the rain).

At this point, from my pre-production meetings on location with my DP, he had my storyboards drilled into his skull so he was able to know pretty much what I wanted from shot to shot.

The park scene actor (guy with the tatoo) which most of you seem to like is actually a result of re-casting. This was the biggest learning experience for me as a director. SPEND MORE TIME IN CASTING. The original actor did a great job in the cold reading, but when we got on set, the magic he gave me in the audition wasn't there and he felt like he was anticipating the next line from my lead actress. Consequently, the new actor was so good and so intense, he brought up the lead actress's performance and really brought a lot out of her that wasn't there in the original scene.

If anyone has production questions, please post them and I'll be sure to answer with as much detail as my swiss cheese of a brain will allow. :D

Special thanks to STRANCALI for generously hosting this footage. I'm told he'll have it up until the end of the month. It's a 67mb download for 20 minutes of footage.

http://transmedia.us/clients/dvx100/TMUmakingof.zip
 
Re: THE MESSAGE UNIVERSAL (22min. film) UPDATED!

The fact this is your first foray into filmmaking is amazing; bravo to you for not only completing such a lengthy project but honestly, this is an amazing looking piece of work. I applaud you. I hope you continue to explore filmmaking as I have seen your artwork (which no doubt lends your eyes the gift) but I think you might have a calling going on here.

The opening sequence and continued 'effects' applied were overkill for me. It started feeling like a SciFi channel special at one point with the constant aberration of the frame. I too agree, the opening sequence, as impressive as it is, is a bit too long for this length of a short. Throughout the piece there is extensive use of a variety of effects and I think "Less is More' serves better in this area; giving the effects more meaning and pop instead of the "Here we go again, another effect." The effects really got to the point of being distracting for me. NOt an effect such as the LAMP but on transitions.

I am torn on the performace of the lead actress. Her performance felt forced; as if everyline had to be under duress or anger. It just didn't seem natural. However, the actress in the bookstore/library was excellent and first rate. Keep her on the rolodex. Her delievry of her lines were very believable and lended and even greater sense of 'Cinefeel' and credibility to this piece. I think if your lead was a good as this supporting player, this film would take a quantam leap. She wasn't bad, per se, but very rough. I think this role was a bit much for her even though some scenes she shines and others it does not.

Your compositions are excellent; superb. Very professional looking and well chosen and your use of Color Correction is excellent as well. You chose a nice palette for this piece.

THe Sound was excellent as well; it sounded very professional and it was a complete compliment to the chosen score; something I would not stress as you can have someone Re-Score this if you choose to take it elsewhere.

The lighting was great; a wonderful sense of natural lighting and depth in each scene and the editing was tight; never seeming to hold on too long or too little. From the NIght INT scenes to the DAY INT (Shower bathroom EXT) are excellent.

I hope you continue to explore filmmaking.
 
Re: THE MESSAGE UNIVERSAL (22min. film completed)

Re: THE MESSAGE UNIVERSAL (22min. film completed)

[quote author=STORYTELLER32 link=board=Clips;num=1109483800;start=30#30 date=03/02/05 at 22:26:54]All the audio was location audio. There were only two lines of ADR in the whole production.[/quote]I had no problems with any technical part of the film except there are many places where the dialogue is far enough out of sync to be distracting. On first viewing, two instances were obvious to me. On second viewing I was looking for it (of course) and so I noticed it almost everywhere. You may have some problem with sync throughout the entire project.

The casting, acting, camera and direction were excellent. I feel guilty about offering so much criticism because I know I’ve never made anything as good. It’s easier to be objective if it’s not yours.

Dream sequence is a tuff one. Great lengths and footage were used here, making the film longer than it needed to be. The first action in the film is when we see a glimpse of a gun at 3:48 and the first REAL action is the two gunshots at 4:20. That's already 20% of the film before anything really happens, not to mention the dreams/effects that follow 4:20. The film overall could be shortened/tightened significantly. We all get attached to our writing and footage but I'm thinking this film would work better at closer to 15 minutes. This is one of the drawbacks of editing one’s own stuff. IMHO I believe it could be done though and would be a better film for it.

Along those same lines, the film might benefit from a less circular, fractured use of time, something closer to a conventional “real time” beginning, middle end. Maybe at least show the terrorist just before being shot instead of showing just BLACK, for instance (if not show him being shot). I hope I have articulated that well enough.

There’s a great deal of talent involved throughout this project and all that talent starts and ends with Storyteller as director. Otherwise I wouldn’t have bothered criticizing at all so I hope my criticism is taken as positive. Keep us posted on the progress of the other project.

Best,
Moe
 
Re: THE MESSAGE UNIVERSAL (22min. film) UPDATED!

Ahhh, finally the ZOMBIE MASTER SPEAKITH! ;D

[quote author=John Hudson link=board=Clips;num=1109483800;start=30#32 date=03/03/05 at 15:41:19]The fact this is your first foray into filmmaking is amazing; bravo to you for not only completing such a lengthy project but honestly, this is an amazing looking piece of work.  I applaud you.  I hope you continue to explore filmmaking as I have seen your artwork (which no doubt lends your eyes the gift) but I think you might have a calling going on here.[/quote]

Wow, thanks John! Don't know what else to say besides thanks so much! Quite the compliment!

The opening sequence and continued 'effects' applied were overkill for me.  It started feeling like a SciFi channel special at one point with the constant aberration of the frame.  I too agree, the opening sequence, as impressive as it is, is a bit too long for this length of a short.  Throughout the piece there is extensive use of a variety of effects and I think "Less is More' serves better in this area; giving the effects more meaning and pop instead of the "Here we go again, another effect."  The effects really got to the point of being distracting for me.  NOt an effect such as the LAMP but on transitions.
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This seems to be the general concensus for the piece. However, I've noticed film makers seem to pay more attention to it as an effect and analyze the design and nature of the effect whereas lay people watch the movie and just understand that they're looking through the eyes of some invisible presence stalking the character. The reason it's repetitive is because each time we look through it's POV, we have to see not only what it's seeing, but the way it sees it. So it's a story point more so than effects for effects sake.

I am torn on the performace of the lead actress.  Her performance felt forced; as if everyline had to be under duress or anger.  It just didn't seem natural.  However, the actress in the bookstore/library was excellent and first rate.  Keep her on the rolodex.  Her delievry of her lines were very believable and lended and even greater sense of 'Cinefeel' and credibility to this piece.  I think if your lead was a good as this supporting player, this film would take a quantam leap.  She wasn't bad, per se, but very rough.  I think this role was a bit much for her even though some scenes she shines and others it does not.
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Ahhh... see? He does have the directing eye! You're absolutely correct. This was her second film ever. This was my big learning lesson on this project was to spend more time in casting. As I stated in a previous post, the male actor in the park scene was a re-cast because the guy who was in his original role did a great job in the audition, but didn't come through on set. This actress was a similar situation and if I didn't already spend a lot of money and time shooting the majority of stuff with her, I might have gone back to casting for her part as well. She required a lot of direction. The one who played the part of her friend was just magic. She's incredibly talented and really just needs the right vehicle and exposure to get moving. However, in the lead actress's defense, I was directing her to be on the aggressive side because that's part of the story points (and her character). It's a non linear story and we're being dropped in these flashbacks right at the most intense points of the arguments. The core of the story is what's happening in real time (in the apartment) so we don't want too much focus on the flashbacks or else we would see some of the more mundane scenes leading up to the intense arguments.

The bookstore scene is actually the last part of her argument with her friend when they make the bet. The last scene of them entering the bookstore is the tail end of an argument where the lead actress believes it's the last time they'll discuss it. So when we're in the bookstore against the shelves, she's REALLY pissed off that they're "doing this again". In her defense again though, when we went for the pickup shots and re-shoot of the park scene, she VASTLY improved as an actress (also helped she was playing against the stronger actor in the park scene too). The original shoot took place in November and the pick ups were in April. Don't know what happened to her between the original shoot and pickups, but I hope she continues to grow. She sort of has a Yancy Butler look to her and with more experience, I think she could do well.

Your compositions are excellent; superb.  Very professional looking and well chosen and your use of Color Correction is excellent as well.  You chose a nice palette for this piece.

THe Sound was excellent as well; it sounded very professional and it was a complete compliment to the chosen score; something I would not stress as you can have someone Re-Score this if you choose to take it elsewhere.
Click to expand...

Yeah, I haven't decided on that yet about taking it elsewhere. I think I'd want to polish it some more rather than let it go in the state its in. But unless I can find a person who can score on a professional level, it will just stay as a reel piece.
About the sound, it was all location except for two lines of ADR so I had to scramble to make it solid by sealing it with room tone. In the bookstore, it was entirely empty while we were shooting and none of my extra's showed up! Another actress had to cancel on me at the last minute so I had to cast my wife in the role of the bookstore worker, lol. I added the silhouettes of figures walking back and forth by shooting an alpha matte in my apartment and keying out the background in post.

The lighting was great; a wonderful sense of natural lighting and depth in each scene and the editing was tight; never seeming to hold on too long or too little.  From the NIght INT scenes to the DAY INT (Shower bathroom EXT) are excellent.
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Heh... yep. My DP doesn't suck! ;D We had pre-production meetings where we talked about what I was looking for and he did a lot with very little. We only had 3 lights to work with except for the effect shot of making the lamp glow (borrowed two more lights that day).

I hope you continue to explore filmmaking.
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Oh hell yes. I have a horror script I'm gearing up to shoot this summer. :D Thanks again for taking the time to write such an in-depth review. Sincerely appreciated.
 
Re: THE MESSAGE UNIVERSAL (22min. film completed)

Re: THE MESSAGE UNIVERSAL (22min. film completed)

[quote author=moe_snodgrass link=board=Clips;num=1109483800;start=30#33 date=03/03/05 at 16:08:03]
I had no problems with any technical part of the film except there are many places where the dialogue is far enough out of sync to be distracting. On first viewing, two instances were obvious to me. On second viewing I was looking for it (of course) and so I noticed it almost everywhere. You may have some problem with sync throughout the entire project.[/quote]

Hey Moe, thanks for writing. I was wondering if you managed to download the flik! Actually, there are no out of sync issues on the flik itself. This was a compression issue. Don't know why, but it is slightly out of sync when I compressed the file. I tried various things to fix it, but when I used other compression choices, the file size grew to an unreasonable amount. And since I only have an older version of apple's compressor to do it with... :(  Good eye for picking it up though, no one else seems to have mentioned it, lol...

The casting, acting, camera and direction were excellent. I feel guilty about offering so much criticism because I know I’ve never made anything as good. It’s easier to be objective if it’s not yours.
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Well, this stuff is subjective. Especially when reviewed by film makers. My experience is that film makers analyze and review based largely on how they would approach the same story. Lay people or your average viewer tends to watch a movie and decide if they like it or not. As long as you're not doing anything to take them out of the world of your narrative, they gloss over things film makers rip apart. ;D

Dream sequence is a tuff one.  Great lengths and footage were used here, making the film longer than it needed to be. The first action in the film is when we see a glimpse of a gun at 3:48 and the first REAL action is the two gunshots at 4:20. That's already 20% of the film before anything really happens, not to mention the dreams/effects that follow 4:20. The film overall could be shortened/tightened significantly. We all get attached to our writing and footage but I'm thinking this film would work better at closer to 15 minutes. This is one of the drawbacks of editing one’s own stuff. IMHO I believe it could be done though and would be a better film for it.
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That's a result of the design of the story structure. It's a non linear story so everything you see in the beginning (which, granted, feels long to some) is tied to things that happened prior to the film starting which are revealed as flashbacks throughout the body of the film.

Along those same lines, the film might benefit from a less circular, fractured use of time, something closer to a conventional “real time” beginning, middle end. Maybe at least show the terrorist just before being shot instead of showing just BLACK, for instance (if not show him being shot). I hope I have articulated that well enough.
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Very clear :D. But I think we're just going to agree to disagree on that one. The hook of the story is it's non linear nature which makes it more interesting to watch. It makes the viewer think about what they're seeing, adding things up in their head. When the screen goes black and we hear the gunshot, the audience knows what she did based on what they've already seen. What we don't see is also more threatening or shocking to the audience than what we could ever show them.  If they don't get it, that's one thing. And while I sort of like that idea that maybe we just cut to a closeup of the terrorist's face with a gun pointed at it then cut to black with the gunshot, it's not a confusing issue. The way it's cut right now sneaks up on you more I think and that's the reaction I've been getting from the majority of people.  Since we already saw the terrorist getting shot in her dream, my feeling is to do it twice would be overkill. I had a cut similar to what you're suggesting with the terrorist and got a less positive reaction to it from lay people than the way it is now so... ;)  But I do appreciate the feedback and suggestion.

There’s a great deal of talent involved throughout this project and all that talent starts and ends with Storyteller as director. Otherwise I wouldn’t have bothered criticizing at all so I hope my criticism is taken as positive. Keep us posted on the progress of the other project.
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ABSOLUTELY! Thanks so much Moe. I hope you'll take just as much interest and time on my next one :)

PS: don't forget to check out the behind the scenes footage!
 
Re: THE MESSAGE UNIVERSAL (22min. film) UPDATED!

WOW! All I have to say is wow!

For a first attempt this was very well planned and shot.

I would like to know if you used any filters or did you do all of it in post. I am very new to filmmaking myself and was truly inspired by this piece of work. Also, what settings on the camera did you use to achieve the shots. I know lighting played a big part of it but how did you learn so much on the technical side if you have been storyboarding comics for the last 10 years?

Any good tips you can share for a newbie? More on the technical side like lighting, editing, color correction, filters etc. although I would be interested to hear tips about anything. I plan to shot a short film this summer.

Ever thought about teaching? I would sign up to your course DV Filmmaking 101 in a heartbeat ;)

Keep up the great work. Hope I'm that good some day.

Robbie D
 
Re: THE MESSAGE UNIVERSAL (22min. film) UPDATED!

Just watched the "making of" and I noticed that you really just used the DVX, glidecam and lots of lighting. Which mic did you use for audio?

Also, I really like the way you edited this film. What do you charge to edit a 20 minute film? As, I mentioned before I am thinking of doing what you did (shoot a short movie over a few days) in a few months and I think the editing will play a big part. I'm sure you did most of the work in post (effects, color etc.) and that is where I have no clue...

Also, I am open to any other offers but keep in mind it will be my first work and will be low budget.

Thanks
 
Re: THE MESSAGE UNIVERSAL (22min. film) UPDATED!

Hi Jordan,

"SHADOW- Thanks for the comments. If you could, please detail some of the technical problems which stood out to you. Could you label an example of where you saw differences in picture quality? I'm not sure what it is you're seeing on your screen and compression was a factor with this so I need more info there to respond to it. Thanks again!"

I had just watch your film for a second time and I appreciated this one as much as the first time.

For my point in picture quality, I found as exemple, the lighting in the library not always as equal between the different angle of view, full light, strong backlight as compare to soft bounce light and no more backlight on others plans. It is a small detail and with the use of only 3 light sources and natural light, you have done a really good work.

You should try to see what will be the response in a contest like TriggerStreet, may be after a small clean-up editing for shortened/tightened the film.

Excellent travail, inspiring, Your on the right tracks. ;)
 
Re: THE MESSAGE UNIVERSAL (22min. film) UPDATED!

[quote author=RobbieD link=board=Clips;num=1109483800;start=30#36 date=03/04/05 at 02:03:11]WOW!  All I have to say is wow!

For a first attempt this was very well planned and shot.  I am very new to filmmaking myself and was truly inspired by this piece of work. Ever thought about teaching? I would sign up to your course DV Filmmaking 101 in a heartbeat ;) [/quote]

Well... WOW. All I have to say to that compliment is WOW, lol... Thanks so much. I'm very flattered. But believe me, there are many much more qualified people on this board who have forgotten more than I'll ever know about the technicals of DV. If you want to learn, hang out on this site and read and study the advice from these guys. Everything I know so far about the technicals of the camera and post production I learned here (along with personal trial and error of course).

Any good tips you can share for a newbie? More on the technical side like lighting, editing, color correction, filters etc. although I would be interested to hear tips about anything.
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Couple of quick tips I guess would be first and foremost, have a strong script. Your film lives and dies on the story you're telling (and shy away from this subject matter your first time out, lol..). Second, the three rules of thumb of making a film, pre-production, pre-production, pre-production. Make sure you have a clear idea of what you want to do before you get on set. Third, spend time in casting. Don't go with a first reading alone. Have the actors come back for two more readings to make sure they can repeat their performance. If you run into a jam with post production programs (ie. final cut pro, after effects, etc.) post your problem to the user forums on this site (or others). You'll be amazed at the generosity of these guys with their knowledge. About editing and color correction? Hard to give advice there as I went with my instincts and how it "felt" to me. Color correction, well, I'm an artist so I have an understanding of color in general. Just had to apply it to a new discipline and learn how to achieve my choices with the programs at my disposal (LOTS of trial and error in post).

 I plan to shot a short film this summer. I would like to know if you used any filters or did you do all of it in post.
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If by filters you mean on the camera itself, the answer is no. There were no physical filters on the camera. We did use expendable filters on the barn doors of the light kit in several shots. Mostly the diffusion filters.

Also, what settings on the camera did you use to achieve the shots. I know lighting played a big part of it but how did you learn so much on the technical side if you have been storyboarding comics for the last 10 years?
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Well, again, learned a lot from guys on this website. I spent months reading posts regarding things that would apply to what I was looking to do. In fact, I even purchased two batteries from Jarred Land for the shoot even though I don't own a DVX (yet). ;D

But I can't truly take technical credit for the lighting. That was my DP's doing. If you're looking to DP your own film then you'll need to know more than I can tell you about the camera usage. My DP and I had several on location meetings with my storyboards in hand and I detailed to him what I was looking for. He was able to execute my choices from the technical side of things. If you're looking to direct, I suggest you find a DP who knows his stuff and who is easy to work with.

Regarding the camera settings, I'll have to look those up for you. I have them written down in a file but just can't remember off hand because they varied for different story points.

I'll answer your next post in a minute.
 
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