The Loner - New Version

Re: The Loner - New Version (5 min)

Re: The Loner - New Version (5 min)

[quote author=Gabe link=board=Clips;num=1106213002;start=15#17 date=01/20/05 at 14:16:18]I think there's real truth to all the "lonely" people who are together on the Internet -- the video game by contrast is just a cheap punchline.[/quote]
He's not lonely. Heck, he kills people who live next to him.  ;D  I agree Gabe, the game is a cheaper joke. But I thought adding a cheap joke would help the general public enjoy it more, but not ruin the overall story. I originally thought "solitaire" would be a good game for him to play. Maybe I'll go back to that.

Here's a short clip with no exterior zoom. Just a longer interior balcony shot (1mb). Better or worse?:
http://www.laundryday.com/dvx/videos/the-loner_edit.mov

Thanks again everyone. I know I won't please everyone. All that matters is pleasing myself.  Oops! That's a quote that will come back and haunt me.  :-[
 
Re: The Loner - New Version (5 min)

Re: The Loner - New Version (5 min)

[quote author=P.K. Gillock link=board=Clips;num=1106213002;start=15#20 date=01/20/05 at 14:38:44] All that matters is pleasing myself.[/quote]


I think you were right to leave that shot out. :P
 
Re: The Loner - New Version (5 min)

Re: The Loner - New Version (5 min)

[quote author=P.K. Gillock link=board=Clips;num=1106213002;start=15#20 date=01/20/05 at 14:38:44]All that matters is pleasing myself.[/quote]

That should always be the reason for doing this.
 
Re: The Loner - New Version (5 min)

Re: The Loner - New Version (5 min)

Bravo PK. I love this film.

BTW I like the est. shot for the balcony.
 
Re: The Loner - New Version (5 min)

Re: The Loner - New Version (5 min)

Exfilms - ;D

Disjecta - I think getting rid of the zoom will be a partial solution. It's the motion and the cheesy effect that breaks the flow of the intro. Maybe just a static shot of him on the balcony. I shot a few things last night but nothing worked well. Thanks for the input.

TC- Thanks buddy. :D
 
Re: The Loner - New Version (5 min)

Re: The Loner - New Version (5 min)

I always aim to please myself. (and the Academy)
 
Re: The Loner - New Version (5 min)

Re: The Loner - New Version (5 min)

And whoemever is in charge of these:

Academy of Country Music (ACM) Awards:
American Film Institute Awards
American Music Awards:
Art Directors Awards
Billboard Music Awards:
Country Music Association (CMA) Awards:
CMT Flameworthy Video Music Awards:
Director's Guild Of America Awards:
Emmy Awards:
Annual Daytime Emmy Award Nominations
International Emmy Awards
Golden Globe Awards:
Grammys:
2000 Latin Grammys
MTV Movie Awards:
MTV Video Awards:
Much Music Video Music Awards
Murrow Awards
My VH1 Awards
Peabody Awards:
People's Choice:
Prism Awards
19th Annual Razzie Awards
Screen Actor's Guild Awards
Soap Opera Digest Awards:
Soul Train Awards:
Teen Choice Awards
TNN Music City Awards:
Tony Awards:
TV Guide Awards:
World Music Awards:
Writers Guild Awards:
YoungStar Awards

And my agent and lawyer. (Am I missing anyone?)
 
Re: The Loner - New Version (5 min)

Re: The Loner - New Version (5 min)

Looks great PK... I do miss the shot where you were peering in through the eyepiece on the neighbors door though, I thought it was classic. But the directors cut is very cool
 
Re: The Loner - New Version (5 min)

Re: The Loner - New Version (5 min)

It seems like me and disjecta are the bad guys in the thread :), well actually just me because disjecta agreed that you should, first and formost, be trying to please yourself.

I will redeem myself by saying that maybe it isn't paced differently like ExFilms said. My only other explanation would be that because I loved the original so much, and had watched it alot, when you made changes that I didn't think it needed because I thought it was perfect, I got thrown out of whack. Plus I was watching it at 2am.

Don't hate me ;D Keep up the great work P.K.
 
Re: The Loner - New Version (5 min)

Re: The Loner - New Version (5 min)

Oh and I also agree that you should please yourself first and formost (I just realised it read like I didn't hehe)
 
Re: The Loner - New Version (5 min)

Re: The Loner - New Version (5 min)

Hey P.K., I think the exterior zoom works well, I'm not getting the cheesy comment on that. The zoom shot makes the reveal (pun intended) even funnier. I didn't catch the orig. flick so I can't say "look what they've done to my song Ma", but I can say I enjoyed this version. Good show!
 
Re: The Loner - New Version (5 min)

Re: The Loner - New Version (5 min)

Thanks zMike. I am trying to find a happy medium between you and disjectas suggestions and the original. I think I'm going to change the computer game to basic solitaire (a game you play alone). And use a static establishing shot instead of the zoom (which might be the source of the pacing problem - it's the only camera movement in the entire piece).

Thanks Bradbro. I appreciate the fresh look at the video. :)
 
Re: The Loner - New Version (5 min)

Re: The Loner - New Version (5 min)

just watched it PK

i think id agree with disjecta on his earlier comments, some of the extra detail was a bit unecessary and i think that there was too much narrating to explain what was going on...BUT im not guilt free of that either!!!! i did that a ton in Herbert's adventures...lack of good planning and shooting it in one day was the main reason, but i've no excuse. Overall I still really liked your short, if you cut out some narration and let the audience discover for themselves what is going on with visual i mages alone, I think the film can be strengthened. dont worry thouhg, i know your nexxt short is gonna be muich better, looking forward to that

peace
 
Re: The Loner - New Version

Kudos! I enjoyed this tremendously! Simple and awesome!

Way to go,

Good luck!!!

Sincerely,

Cade
 
Re: The Loner - New Version

Thanks alot Cade. Glad you liked it.

Young - Not sure about editing the audio. It's the exact same as the original and I think most liked (including myself) the VO. If anything I'll change the imagery to be more subtle, like before. You all had some good suggestions. Thank you!

Dakota suggested (on another thread) that I use the Fruit Loops shot as the "Distracts me from my work" section (instead of the game). What do you all think?

http://www.laundryday.com/dvx/videos/insomniac.mov
 
Re: The Loner - New Version

P.K. I think you should just slow the zoom down. Also a continuity problem with the globe. It is in the coin shot before he steals it. I like that he took it and then when you do the coin shot in the end it looks like the globe was maybe a prize or a souviner.(spell check) Other than that, I did not think it was much different from your first one. I injoyed them both. Now put the brush down and move on to your next project. ;)
 
Re: The Loner - New Version

Thanks Elvis. Although there isn't a continuity problem because he says, "Speaking of new tenants, a few weeks ago...."  The rest is all a flashback. That's why the globe is in the background (good catch). The end shot is the same shot as before (with the globe) because we've come full circle.  ;D

Thanks for the advice Elvis. But I decided to cut the zoom completely and just havng a static shot on the balcony. You're right, time to put the brush down. I don't think its any secret, but I'm NEVER satisfied with my projects.

Sorry if all of you are getting tired of seeing my unclothed body. Actually I'm not sorry.  I enjoy it! ;)
 
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