"The Light", a new DVX100A short

ponder8n

ponder8n

Active member
I just finished editing my third short, "The Light". I would love to hear your thoughts both from a technical point of view and an artistic point of view. The web version of the short may come across dark, since 90% of the short was shot in darkness.

http://www.toppup.com/thelight/movie

Running Time is about 9 minutes.

I only have an MPEG 4 version up. I didn't have time this morning to encode the WMV. Hope to have it up soon.

Thanks,
Russell
 
Re: "The Light", a new DVX100A short

Russel,

Very interesting short.

I really liked the dramatic lighting, especially how you captured it coming through the door.

It was a little long (the arguments seemed a tad repetitive), but other than that it was very professional.

Chris
 
Re: "The Light", a new DVX100A short

Shouldn't this be moved to the lighting section. ;)
Just kidding.

Very good man. My only critism is that it does run long. You could tighten the edits, cut some of the "dramatic pauses". It would make you film flow better and make the acting look stronger. Other than that it looked very nice, sound was great, music was great.
Well done.
A
 
Re: "The Light", a new DVX100A short

Russ,

Good work! Aside from what the others have said, I was impressed by the audio. The music was good, and really enhanced the feel of the short; the sound effects during the flashback sequences give them just the right punch.
 
Re: "The Light", a new DVX100A short

Thanks everyone for your thoughts.

Can you give me some ideas specifically how it runs long? Where does it need tightening up? (I'm so close to this, it's hard to see where it drags.) I was hoping the "garden experiences" would help keep it from dragging.

Any tidbits would be greatly appreciated.

Russell
 
Re: "The Light", a new DVX100A short

Russell

I completely understand. It is very hard to have a perspective when you have just completed your work. I made one short and it is only now, 2 years later that i watched it again and could see how long it runs. Before I thought that everything in there was essential to get the story across. You'd be suprised how much people can get without it have to be all spelled out for them.
Also don't get me wrong. Some of the editing is great. Some flashy stuff with the memories and the garden.
Plus I don't want to tell you how to make your movie. But here is an example. In the opening, you show the woman's feet walking. then the guys chasing. then you show it again in a wider shot. I already have that information, do you need to show me it again?
Little things like that. Try and only give us what we absolutely need to tell the story.
hope that helps

A
 
Re: "The Light", a new DVX100A short

..for me it was just the fact that the actors were just standing there staring at each other that made it a little stale after a while. people hardly ever look at eachother so directly as they did in this short (or many many others for that matter..) let alone stand so still while engaged in conversation ..espescially emotional conversation. its very unnerving, and uncomfortable to stand that close, and actually look at someone as you talk to them.. even having your face facing then straight on is uncomfortable. ..

..what it does in a scene like this, is make the situation feel forced, and causes the viewer to stumble into a "ill sit here and listen to them say their lines" sort of thing.. instead of keeping them engaged in the conversation. and the emotion it entails.

so ..all of my blah blah blah boils down to just having them move about more naturally, and engage in the conversation like real life.. all the little nuances of averting eyes, and hanging your head down, and those feelings of discomfort are what really draw the viewer in becuase we can relate.. we can feel it , and be there with them.. then the time can pass and we wouldnt notice.

imho, it wasnt that the actual story dragged. it was that the visual representtion of the story dragged when the lines were being delivered. the garden stuff really did spice it up and keep it alive though. it was hard going back after the visual sand emotional stimulation those introduced :)

anyway i thought you did a great job overall, and want to say congrats to you on the work.
 
Re: "The Light", a new DVX100A short

Nice short.

I think you might be able to cut quicker between the character dialog. There's a just a bit too much pause between some of the lines. Shortening those cuts would give a more natural feel rather than a rehearsed feel.

Otherwise, it's a nicely done short. Good job.
 
Re: "The Light", a new DVX100A short

Hi man, I saw your short. NIce effects. I'm assuming you used AFter Effects? How did you make the door shine? Was it teh Trapcode plugin? They worked well. Please explain how you did those nice effects

If you want artistic critique, here are my .03 cents

I have to agree with the above comments about tightening. A lot of dialogue was reptitive, and I think after the first few lines that show the conflict of the main character, you can use dramatic pauses, and silence to convey the rest of the vacillation of the protagonist, whether he should go or not. I think a lot of suspense can be created if you tease the audience in what lies behind the light. You do this to a degree, but it's not really clear what it is, and at the same time, you reveal too much. I first thought the light was death, or something, and then I thought the light was supposed to be reliving happy moments...then I saw the Jesus quote at the end.

It's important that you establish clearly what is behind the light, and reveal just enough to generate more curiosity. Then you show WHY the protagonist is reluctant to go. The conflict needs to be clear, and immediately obvious for the drama and suspense to work.

If you don't make them clear, audiences will be wondering what the heck is going on...is this an avante-garde film or something.

The 'temptor' needs to have move subtext and motivations. He just seems to be a passer-by who is trying to get the guy to stay simple 'because.' And 'simply-because' is not strong enough to generate drama.

Anyways, I was impressed with the effects, please explain how you did them.

Good job, and I will look forward to your future posts
 
Re: "The Light", a new DVX100A short

You know about these word "opinion", everyone has one.

My opinion does not parallel the fellow posters' of this board simply because I do not find it necessary to "fly through" a story. I thought that this short was very insightful and at the same time captivating. Some people need everything predigested for them, sort of like gobbling down fast food as opposed to enjoying a meal. I am glad that this short did not have this odious mannerism at its core and rather breathed easily. Congrats on the overall production!
 
Re: "The Light", a new DVX100A short

Thanks everyone for your comments and feedback. Everyone had good ideas and thoughts to share. That's why I appreciate this board.

I've posted "edit 6" on the site as well. (See first post for the link.) Most of the people I have showed this too really thought the "darkness scenes" should be even colder and more colorless, representing the darkness better. So, I changed them to black and white. I think it works better. Would love to hear your thoughts.

Also, I have finally posted a wmv version as well.

Thanks again,
Russell
 
Re: "The Light", a new DVX100A short

Hi Russell,

Maybe you incorporated the preceding suggestions in edit six, I haven’t seen the other one; I thought this was very well done. I especially liked the dramatic lighting and the juxtaposition between B&W and color.

The pacing is a little slow so it feels long. Whenever possible it is good to cut on action, there were several times where you cut from a MCU to a CU for a reaction and there was a pause, this could be for effect to make something poignant. This really slows down the tempo and if you do this too much it really drags on.

Having said that –great job! I’m sure it will be well received by your intended audience. On a personal note, you could change the ending, although this might be a little cliché, this might work well as a metaphor for people who are loosing or recently lost a loved one to a terminal illness.

Thanks for sharing.
 
Re: "The Light", a new DVX100A short

[quote author=Young-H._Lee link=board=Clips;num=1093358892;start=0#8 date=08/25/04 at 10:02:16]Hi man, I saw your short.  NIce effects.  I'm assuming you used AFter Effects?  How did you make the door shine? Was it teh Trapcode plugin?  They worked well.  Please explain how you did those nice effects.[/quote]
 
Re: "The Light", a new DVX100A short

Thanks again for everyone's thoughts and ideas.  Here are some comments regarding the editing:

The edit and almost all of the effects were done in Final Cut Pro.  

The only thing I did in After Effects was the shadow running behind the guy.  I had to rotoscope the person and then darknen it to make it more "shadowy".  Here's the tutorial on how to do rotoscoping in AE using Vector Paint:  http://www.creativecow.net/articles/oneil_bill/as_matte/

For the glowing light, I used a free Boris BCC Light Zoom plug in.  Works great for Final Cut.  It's not quite as powerful as Shine, but free is awesome.  Here's the link: http://www.borisfx.com/download/freebies.php  (I just found out it's free for Boris RED users.)

Most of the footage was diffused and level adjusted with Joe's Filters for FCP.  It really helps withc contrasy look.  Great set of filters for $100: http://www.joesfilters.com

Russell
 
Re: "The Light", a new DVX100A short

I loved it Russel, it delivers the Message thats 4 sure . . . so mission accomplished. I am sure you will get tighter with your next projects (which I would love to see) but the story line works great. I would have moved in closer to the actors maybe filling the screen with thier eyes to mouth sort of thing. I sometimes got the imression it was shot on a thearer stage. Never the less right on the money . . . mission acomplished ;D
 
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