The Industry Lightbulb Analogy

Blaine

Blaine

Mr. Hollywood
Don't know if these have ever been posted before but I got a good laugh so I thought I'd share. Everyone takes a hit with these.
Q: How many Studio Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: No one knows. Light bulbs last longer than Studio Executives.

Q: How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.

Q: How many D.P.s does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One. No, two. No, wait... how many do we have on the truck?

Q: How many Art Directors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this fabulous candle holder...

Q: How many Editors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: If we change the light bulb, we'll have to change everything.

Q: How many P.A.'s does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Nine. One to do it and eight others to wish they'd been asked.

Q: How many Production Coordinators does it take to scr...
A: Done.

Q: How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Five. Four to take notes while the other one screws it into the faucet.

Q: How many Screenwriters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: The bulb's IN and it's staying IN.

Q: How many 1st A.D.s does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Why the hell are you asking me that question? Can't you see I'm busy!

Q: How many Prop Masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Light bulb? Light bulb? The script doesn't mention any light bulbs!

Q : How many Union Electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three. You gotta problem with that?

Q: How many Casting Directors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Well, it depends. There's this bulb everyone_knows-- he's a little oversized for the socket but he burns really brightly. Or there's this tiny little bulb, he is really energy efficient if you want to save time and money. Or there's a fabulous bulb I saw in a waiver play -- he has no name value whatsoever, but his design was to die for!

Q: How many Actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 50. One to do it and 49 to say they could've done it better.

Q: How many Extras does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Um, is the light bulb SAG? How did it get it's SAG card? Did it know someone?

Q: How many Publicists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Oh, really, now! That is just a rumor. The light bulb has some very good friends, but at this time, is not interested in screwing.

Q: How many Directors does it take to screw in a_light bulb?
A: One. The Director holds the light bulb and the rest of the world revolves around him.
 
Q: How many Grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: We'll be sure to ask, once they get off break.
 
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TC said:
Q: How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: We'll be sure to ask, once they get off break.
Click to expand...
Good one. I've added it to my list. Thanks.
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Q: How many DVXusers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Four. One to do it, another to ask, "How did you do that?", a Moderator to move the whole thing into the "Lighting" Section, and one more to say, "LMAO :)".
 
Yay! I contributed!

Q: How many Visual Effects Supervisors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: "That depends on whether or not we can even use this bulb, it might cast a weird shadow and give the whole thing away."
 
PK Gillock said:
Q: How many DVXusers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Four. One to do it, another to ask, "How did you do that?", a Moderator to move the whole thing into the "Lighting" Section, and one more to say, "LMAO :)".
Click to expand...
LMAO :)
 
Q: How many XL2 owners does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: "That lightbulb didn't last very long".


- Mikko

P.S. TC: I beat you to the previous joke :-P
 
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mikkowilson said:
Q: How many Isara webmasters does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Just PK, and one good turn deserves another.
Click to expand...

Not sure if I should laugh or cry. But thanks Mikko. Always feels good to be included in on a joke. :)
 
mikkowilson said:
Q: How many XL2 owners does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: "That lightbulb didn't last very long".


- Mikko

P.S. TC: I beat you to the previous joke :-P
Click to expand...
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Nice.

That's right everyone, we're bringing back the XL2 jokes.
 
These come from Neil:

Q: How many Independent Filmmakers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three; which is the entire crew.

Q: How many Script Supervisors does it take to screw in a light builb?
A: I don't know, let me check my notes.
 
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