The biggest issue you have right now is that the english subtitles are terrible. It's hard to take the film seriously when you're laughing at the poor translation half the time.
As for what I could tell from it, it's decent. The cinematography is a little bland, I would have liked more shadows and texture. Some of the framing could use work (for instance shots where there's too much space above the actors heads) The color seems a bit off to me as well. The sound could definitely use some work to be cleaner.
That being said I did like the story you were going for. Work on the technical side and get a better translator and you'll be good!
