The Cleaner..2 minute short.

FilmMakerr

FilmMakerr

Veteran
Whats up guys, so I'm moving out of my place, and have decided to take the first step and start filming things. Basically, Ive had the opportunity to use a DVX for the past 3 years, but never went through enitrely shooting anything. So my first short, Let me know what ya'll think...:) and please take a moment to comment on my video :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iVSEvx1Bsig
 
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Very nice first short, FilmMaker. It was nice and quick with enough about it to be good.
Your shots were nice, good acting, good light, good sound, good editing, good costumes and a very good ending.
I thought some of the Sound-FX sounded a little fake, or they stood out - the best sounds are the ones that blend in. The sounds that stood out were the pouring of the wine and the cocking of the gun.

Other than that mate, a very nice little short. I give it 8 out of 10. Keep up the good work and keep making films.
 
I've literally seen this exact same story six times in various short films, its really stale and not too interesting to watch.

It's difficult to gauge how well something has been shot when its black and white. It has a way of hiding imperfections in exposure and lighting. It looks good for a DVX100.

I would recommend staying away from the whole idea of "dude wakes up in his residence" start to a short for your next one, its not very captivating and is THE #1 most overused intro in films. I would stay away from basic introductions like that and some guy sitting on a park bench, or looking out the window to begin with. That kind of thing is for uncreative film school students who go to NYFA, and sit around filming unnatural conversations on park benches with 16mm film.

Another piece of advice relating to that, try to write flowing natural conversation, Quentin Tarantino said in an interview for resevoir dogs "gangsters don't sit around polishing their bullets all day" (I'm not a big fan of QT by the way, but this is his biggest strength- and the man has a point) try to get in to your character's heads when you write their lines, say what your writing aloud doing impressions of your characters until you get something that flows.

Introduce your focus characters in dynamic ways, take No Country for Old Men for example, I love the way the coen's introduced Javier Bardem's character by him getting arrested, the coens talk about it on the DVD that it was to make sure an audience didn't relate to the character. Give your character reveals some flare. Have them kidnapping someone, robbing a bank, getting shot, walking through the desert, being chased, traveling somewhere- anything dynamic. Not only does this make your character more fun to watch, but it gives your movie a hook to reel the audience in.

That's all I can really say, hope you'll try another one :)
 
JamesGallardo said:
I've literally seen this exact same story six times in various short films, its really stale and not too interesting to watch.

It's difficult to gauge how well something has been shot when its black and white. It has a way of hiding imperfections in exposure and lighting. It looks good for a DVX100.

I would recommend staying away from the whole idea of "dude wakes up in his residence" start to a short for your next one, its not very captivating and is THE #1 most overused intro in films. I would stay away from basic introductions like that and some guy sitting on a park bench, or looking out the window to begin with. That kind of thing is for uncreative film school students who go to NYFA, and sit around filming unnatural conversations on park benches with 16mm film.

Another piece of advice relating to that, try to write flowing natural conversation, Quentin Tarantino said in an interview for resevoir dogs "gangsters don't sit around polishing their bullets all day" (I'm not a big fan of QT by the way, but this is his biggest strength- and the man has a point) try to get in to your character's heads when you write their lines, say what your writing aloud doing impressions of your characters until you get something that flows.

Introduce your focus characters in dynamic ways, take No Country for Old Men for example, I love the way the coen's introduced Javier Bardem's character by him getting arrested, the coens talk about it on the DVD that it was to make sure an audience didn't relate to the character. Give your character reveals some flare. Have them kidnapping someone, robbing a bank, getting shot, walking through the desert, being chased, traveling somewhere- anything dynamic. Not only does this make your character more fun to watch, but it gives your movie a hook to reel the audience in.

That's all I can really say, hope you'll try another one :)
Click to expand...


Is it just as easy to introduce a character in a dynamic way as it is in a feature?

Thanks for the pointers!
 
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