Crossroads Films
Active member
Came up with this idea 6 months before I even bought my DSLR or film equipment...Then after I came back from a one week film school I bought my stuff and got going on my first short film...
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SHORT: The Calling (directed, written, & edited by Jared Leon)
- Thread starter Crossroads Films
- Start date
Crossroads Films
Active member
Any takers on some constructive criticism?
Chris Adler
Veteran
I made it half way and pulled the plug when the preacher left the door. If this was a project you're going to show in church then you probably have something fun here.
Crossroads Films
Active member
So any criticism on it or why u decided to end it???
Chris Adler
Veteran
Preachy. The super-flat image with no contrast at the beginning just looked really bad and didn't seem to serve a purpose. Frankly I totally lost interest when I turned it off.
The noise of the item chasing the person made me assume it would turn out to be a gag of an ugly kid in a wagon or something, since it sounded really mechanical. I'm an atheist but love watching well-told stories that make me question my decisions. This wasn't it.
The noise of the item chasing the person made me assume it would turn out to be a gag of an ugly kid in a wagon or something, since it sounded really mechanical. I'm an atheist but love watching well-told stories that make me question my decisions. This wasn't it.
Crossroads Films
Active member
Thx for the feed...I guess u can't please everybody...it's my first short so I'm improving as I go along...
Crossroads Films
Active member
anybody else wanna step up and give some valuable feedback...
- the text on screen: leave it longer...give people time to read and to think about it.
- a first shot with the guy running is good, it wonders me who he's running for (or what)
- red on red... doesn't work.... maybe white with some "red" accent ?
- suddenly there's shooting.. weird...Strange...disbelieve...whaaaaaaaaa
- from 00:43 - 00:46: delete, we know he's running... it's to long
- POV of "God"... don't show it to fast...
- the guy's running to long....
- 1:39, let the guy enter faster (quicker)...
- the panning, delete it... just go directly to the guy opening the inside door, and going to the front door
- the "slow walking" is good (of the other guy...to the door)
- reading...doesn't work... the depth of focus is to small. and the pen is to thick...something thinner would have been better (like a pencil)
- the scene 5:54...waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to long... boring..falling a sleep... just make it 20 seconds...
- I don't care if it's 2 months later or 6 or 7 years or 5000 years.... It do is interesting when you first put a "I'm helping you scene" and then "2 months later" to see the improvement
- a first shot with the guy running is good, it wonders me who he's running for (or what)
- red on red... doesn't work.... maybe white with some "red" accent ?
- suddenly there's shooting.. weird...Strange...disbelieve...whaaaaaaaaa
- from 00:43 - 00:46: delete, we know he's running... it's to long
- POV of "God"... don't show it to fast...
- the guy's running to long....
- 1:39, let the guy enter faster (quicker)...
- the panning, delete it... just go directly to the guy opening the inside door, and going to the front door
- the "slow walking" is good (of the other guy...to the door)
- reading...doesn't work... the depth of focus is to small. and the pen is to thick...something thinner would have been better (like a pencil)
- the scene 5:54...waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to long... boring..falling a sleep... just make it 20 seconds...
- I don't care if it's 2 months later or 6 or 7 years or 5000 years.... It do is interesting when you first put a "I'm helping you scene" and then "2 months later" to see the improvement
Crossroads Films
Active member
Yo thx for real on taking the time to critique my film man...appreciate it and i will definitely work on my editing...