Stupid Mac parody advert

Moz

Moz

Active member
I re-uploaded it at the original resolution,and I moved the punchline.

I am sorry if I have come off a little defensive. I am looking for criticism.
 
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Personally I thought it sucked for many reasons but it's very cool you made it and are on the road to perfecting your craft as it were.

We all start somewhere and this really isn't that bad of a start all things considered.

Just keep at it and in no time you will be stunning your audiences with brilliance! :beer:
 
Hey Moz don't worry so much about what others think. Man this is your art, just like a painting or music. I liked it, it was original, funny and a different approach. I would have had a Mac in there somewhere though. But all in all good job, looking forward to seeing some more stuff from you.
 
It was okay. Liked the concept. Acting wasn't poor, just the concept. Liked the Linux bit. :) It was light comedy.
 
what sucked about it? I writing wise it was very poor and the humour didn't work, but what about editing and lighting?

And audio? I spent the majority of the time on the audio.
 
Don't qualify your work. Don't make excuses for it. Stand behind it. Have a little more self confidence. The worst thing you can do is tell people "well it sucks because...". Thats just irritating. And it doesn't make me want to see it. Show your work, and then if it sucks in other people's eyes, chances are they will tell you. But then it's criticism. Which means they saw it. And thats the important part.

Seriously, after your posts and pictures, I had to force myself to watch it. But it wasn't as bad as you make it out to be. Not for a first try.
 
I didn't say it was awful.

I just pointed out the mistakes I know I made and the "Stupid Mac parody" was the original working title.
I do think my acting is very poor simply because I couldn't really direct myself so it was only after when I viewed the footage I realized it was no where near what I was aiming for.

What I am satisfied with is the lighting set up considering what I had to work with, the editing and the sound mixing. (which you can't get a feel for because of youtube compression)

And this isn't my first time doing a project or a short single scene advert, just first time using my DVX100.
 
The lighting looked flat and muddy. With the look you were going for, I would have gone for a stronger key, and less spill in the background. I know you didn't have a boom op which makes good sound difficult, but it would have helped if the mic was closer. It sounded echoey and a bit too much background noise. Titles don't suit a mac ad. I would have made a more distinct separation of the ending with some light music. Fading out of it reduces the abruptness, and the effectiveness of the punchline. The tapping noise at 0:19 seemed out of place.
That's all that really bothered me.
 
HBlack said:
The lighting looked flat and muddy. With the look you were going for, I would have gone for a stronger key, and less spill in the background. I know you didn't have a boom op which makes good sound difficult, but it would have helped if the mic was closer. It sounded echoey and a bit too much background noise. Titles don't suit a mac ad. I would have made a more distinct separation of the ending with some light music. Fading out of it reduces the abruptness, and the effectiveness of the punchline. The tapping noise at 0:19 seemed out of place.
That's all that really bothered me.
Click to expand...

All the background noise was added in during post and an echo effect was added in. The original audio was clean.

and the titles were taken from the font type of mac ads ?!?

The taping noise at 0:19 is an out of place footstep I must have missed when I was doing foley.
 
Look, I'm starting to get that you don't want the honest truth here?

It's not bad, but the following things that have been said are true. The picture is "muddy", unclear, and very soft. Almost out of focus. Bad lighting? Bad settings? Hard to tell.
Audio isn't bad, but it's not great either. There is also a very distracting sound at around the 24 second mark that lasts for a few seconds.

I've done work like this myself when first starting out. It is VERY tough to learn everything, light yourself, act, etc...

But please try and learn from some of these comments.

They are dead on for the most part.

Overall though, not bad. I liked the Linux line.

Mike
 
Sorry. I think people are miss interpreting what I am asking. I am not trying to deflect criticism or anything like that. I want the honest truth. Some of the comments aren't as direct as I would have liked, so when I say "what sucks?" I am looking for more direct comments on what I did. Not trying to down play criticism.

I re-uploaded it at the original resolution; the youtube version in the first post was exported at 320x240. This version is the raw AVI so looks a little clearer.

Kyser: your post is exactly what I am looking for. :)

HBlack: I wish I had a more powerful light kit. What are some ways I can reduce spill though?

Here is what I think of it:

I didn't have a actual fill like and I used a reflector instead which I think was a mistake, it made my face too dark and in shadow giving that muddy effect. Was the back light nessesary? The 24 mark sound were foley footsteps that I think I mixed at too high of a volume. They aren't really in sync with my movement either. Also I think the smashing on the table had too much bass. I did it on my desk that has my monitor and it came out more like a thump than the metal clang it should have been. I have an air conditioner sound sample looping at a very low volume in the background, but does it sound too much like noise on the microphone? Also, the ticking clock in the background. Is it too low? I can barely hear it on the youtube version and I think since it's isn't recognizable as a clock it throws your ear off. Looking at it now I really should have put a music track on it. Seems very dead after the titles come up.

I wanted to do a quick commercial like video because I am strapped for cash and I know while there aren't as many paying narrative jobs in Toronto anymore, the advertisement business is still pretty good.

Cheers.
 
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You show promise...you will be a better film maker if you just move on to your next project rather than identifying everything in your project that wasn't academy award ready.

In this business your only as good as your last project...SO make a better one rather than defending and over analyzing your last one.

This is a craft you never truly master. Those who are successful are the ones that truly love the process and not the product.

Good luck...
 
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