STASH -teaser and grabs-DVX100A

asylumproductions

asylumproductions

Well-known member
Here is a teaser and grabs from my feature length film STASH. Feedback appreciated.

TEASER- http://www.putfile.com/media.php?n=Stash

*Uploaded new file on Putfile.com 06/15 looks cleaner.

sarahincell2.jpg

jennycell.jpg

sarahcry.jpg

sarahrun.jpg

Enoughchitchat2.jpg

Budsilouette.jpg
 
Your grabs look good, especially the 1st, 4th, and 6th grabs. I don't think the music in the trailer works with the look of the flick. I'm guessing it's temp music, though.
 
I watched it twice.

The first time, I was totally thrown off by the music... and it just didn't work for me at all.

I watched it again, and I can see hints of what you are going for, that sort of sick, funny, hillbilly murder Texas Chainsaw Massacre type dark satire? If that is the case, I'm interested.... but I really think the music does not fit at all, but it almost gives it this very odd contrasting quality that makes it more disturbing and zany...

Looks like you did a good job lighting and nice compositions, though the one shot, with the younger dude, and what looks like a blunt or something in the foreground, and the guy whose head is to us is like, twirling it or something? I didn't get that, didn't work for me.

And I think it was a little long for the fact that all it really conveys is that this guy is taking chicks prisoner, and perhaps raping and torturing them. Keep it short and sweet. Maybe start out with just a few shots of the one of the prisoners, then only reveal your big guy at the very end, I don't know... I'll stop now.

Congrats, I'd like to see more.
 
Is this a feature?

I wasn't really feeling much in the way of substance - perhaps if you elaborated on a few different points it would have hit home ya know, but like all I really know is somebody is trapped and this guy laughs like he's been smoking too much peyote.

Perhaps you could show some pieces of how it led up to this, maybe some scenes of what the final resolution might be.

I liked the lighting in certain scenes - like when the door opens and the shadows over the girl change, that was really cool. In others (like inside the house) the lighting was really not the greatest, his face was all dark - which leads me to believe you didn't light the interior, you just used whatever house lights were there, thus giving it the orangish tone.

So I don't know, there were good parts and bad parts to the lighting but overall I think it's not bad, the audio was understandable most of the time, but the music (as others have said) didn't fit.

-Monte
 
Thanks for the comments, everything was lit. We used no natural light, other than the EXT. stuff. I think we used an orange gel, but I am not too happy with it. Like I said the compression looks horrible, and when you watch this on a nice TV it looks good(it came out dark with the .wmv format.) The music started to be temporary, we have original music almost for the whole movie completed. It has a lot of banjos and steel guitars. I wanted the music to be completly opposite of how one thinks it should be. The only hint of an earthy woodsy feel, would be the mandolin sample. As far as the story goes, this is only a teaser, the trailer will focus more on the actual story and "the game" that is involved. Thanks for your comments, please keep them coming.
 
It's hard to not sound like a smart ass here, but if this is the teaser, is your trailer going to be 30 minutes long? I agree with Chance, this should be a lot shorter. A teaser should leave your scalp tingling (esp. with this subject matter) and wanting to understand "What the f*** was that about?!?"

Congrats on putting this together, I thought it looked pretty good (like you said .WMV darken a bit.) Keep it up!
 
As far as I know there is not a time limit a teaser suposed to be. I have seen teasers 2 and 3 mins long. Maybe this would be better shorter. I really was just messing around in garage band and a made that track up, and built the teaser around it. Maybe I will do another version a little shorter with different music.
 
the laughing really started to grate with me. It seemed like it kept going and going. The overall teaser wasn't that teasing, it needs more mystery and a darker feel for it. It kinda just feels like it was slapped together.
 
I did'nt like the laugh, I hated it, it's a rubbish laugh...that being said I think you have some nice work here...I like your comps...Get rid of the music, go nastier...also get rid of any borderline dodgey acting shots...tighten...leave the gfx/ titles...and you will have something cool and edgey...good work...nice to see a feature horror on the DVX..Good luck with the project.
J.P.
 
Yeah. The music was way off, and Teasers are in fact only supposed to Tease you, not show you very much, just enough to make you want more. This is more of a trailer.

Lose the music, try putting some Nine Inch Nails in there just to see the difference.

And can I take a guess...this guy kills girls and uses them as fertalizer for his weed?

If that's correct, your teaser tells too much.
 
What they all said, but I'd like to add that the logo (at the end) needs some work. The title font/graphic should be just as spooky as the trailer. Yours looks like it's a joke or Christmas time.

Other than that you definitely got talent. The lighting is great and the actors looked good. Can't wait to see the next version of the trailer.

Good luck!
 
I agree with Urine, if you structured a teaser around any number of NIN tracks, like The Mark Has Been Made for instance, you could have a seriously effective piece...

Of course Man on Fire already used it but so what, check out some of their instrumentals or try doing something of your own with a similar feel. Your visuals would easily lend themselves to this style of music.

I saw them here on their club tour (NIN)... envy me.

And I agree about the logo.
 
Thanks for the comments and suggestions. I can't believe everyone disliked the music so much. Hmm, oh well thought it was a nice contrast. That was just a first draft anyway so I will tighten it up and try some different music. Thanks guys.
 
Urine Sane said:
Yeah. The music was way off, and Teasers are in fact only supposed to Tease you, not show you very much, just enough to make you want more. This is more of a trailer.

Lose the music, try putting some Nine Inch Nails in there just to see the difference.

And can I take a guess...this guy kills girls and uses them as fertalizer for his weed?

If that's correct, your teaser tells too much.
Click to expand...
No he does not use the girls for fertilizer, but that is a clever idea.
 
Hey check out the song "Breathe In, Bleed Out" By American Headcharge, it's on the War of Art album, it sounds decent with your "teaser" ;)
 
I actually liked the music it made me feel like it was a light hearted smoking pot, kind of afternoon but this guys idea of fun includes girls in the basment. I think that maybe that is what you were going for. If so maybe make the trailer more from his pov than that of the entire story. Show that he is layed back about the situation. Good job though I want to see the movie and I guess that's the point.
 
okay, the music didn't bother me as much as everyone else. It did however got alittle repetative. If you can just add alittle more to the music, maybe keep the beat but add some dark strings, deep pianos, something more symphonic. It looks great and those grabs are pretty clean. That big guy kind of reminds me of that guy from Lost.
 
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