FEATURE: Star Trek - Horizon

T

tommygdawg

Well-known member
Hello, all!

I thought I'd make a post here about my first feature film project: Star Trek - Horizon. It's a feature-length film set during the time of Enterprise (the fifth Star Trek series).

Synopsis:
The Coalition of Planets, a young alliance of worlds led by Earth, is at war with the Romulan Empire. Desperate for a chance to gain the upper hand in the war, the Coalition forms an alliance with T'mar, a Romulan deserter, in the hopes that she can provide valuable intelligence on her former masters.

First teaser:

Over the course of production I've been chronicling my progress with video blogs. This is my latest vlog:

Update: 04/03/14
A new sceenshot released on our facebook page and official website.
fa83a58a-2a15-467b-caf2-bd8dd4a0bb07.jpg

Update: 04/19/14
Our official Kickstarter campaign has launched! Check out the video here:
Here's a link to the campaign: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/startrekhorizon/star-trek-horizon

Update: 05/04/14
The entire opening scene of the film has been released.

For those concerned with copyright: CBS and Paramount have historically been quite supportive of fan films, and I do realize this is their IP, not mine. I'm simply showing my love for a universe that has inspired me greatly, both personally and professionally.

Would love to hear what you all think!
 
Last edited:
Looks pretty good. Interesting that you decided to set it during the time of Enterprise, I'm not sure why that series was so disliked compared to the others.
 
Mike Lorushe said:
Looks pretty good. Interesting that you decided to set it during the time of Enterprise, I'm not sure why that series was so disliked compared to the others.
Click to expand...

Thanks! It's really hard to say, because I think it was a fantastic show. I think the best explanation I can think of is that no one hates Star Trek as much as Trekkies do. At the time, a lot of "fans" really didn't give it a chance. They wrote it off quite quickly. In any case, I think it deserves a proper conclusion, so that's what I'm hoping to do! :)
 
G'day Tommy, I remember giving you some help with a script a year or two ago. Wow have you come along, I'm seriously impressed. You must have been working your butt off! I've blown my budget for this month but if I can get my expenses under control there's still enough time left to pledge in May. Not much of a trekkie fan (seen most of them but its scifi methodone for when I can't get scifi heroin) but if you can maintain this standard through the movie then I believe this project could open doors for you and that's worth investing in. I can't name the faces but I recognise two of the actors so that's a big vote of confidence in you right there. You've lined up your ducks and I really hope I'll be in a position to make a contribution. Kudos to you Tommy.
 
Looks cool, but I have to wonder how you can get away with raising money via Crowdfunding to personally benefit (computers, upgrades, software) which means profit from a property you have to rights to? Have you looked into that?
 
Egg Born Son said:
G'day Tommy, I remember giving you some help with a script a year or two ago. Wow have you come along, I'm seriously impressed. You must have been working your butt off! I've blown my budget for this month but if I can get my expenses under control there's still enough time left to pledge in May. Not much of a trekkie fan (seen most of them but its scifi methodone for when I can't get scifi heroin) but if you can maintain this standard through the movie then I believe this project could open doors for you and that's worth investing in. I can't name the faces but I recognise two of the actors so that's a big vote of confidence in you right there. You've lined up your ducks and I really hope I'll be in a position to make a contribution. Kudos to you Tommy.
Click to expand...

Thank you! I really appreciate the kind words and the willingness to pledge when you get some funds. I do remember your feedback on my film and I think it made a world of difference. Your help was invaluable on that project, and it's very encouraging to know that you think I've improved since then :) I've certainly been working my butt off, this is definitely my passion project. I'm glad it's showing!

Chris Adler said:
Looks cool, but I have to wonder how you can get away with raising money via Crowdfunding to personally benefit (computers, upgrades, software) which means profit from a property you have to rights to? Have you looked into that?
Click to expand...

Yeah, honestly it is a bit of a gray area defining what counts as "profiting" and what doesn't. However, there are fan films such as Star Trek - Renegades and Star Trek - Axanar that have raised oodles of money for their productions, including to cover things like visual effects costs. It's technically not that much different for me, except I'm the one doing most of the effects :P And, in all honesty, I'm really not trying to profit from this, I just want the means to tell this story in the best way possible. Enterprise helped me through a hard time in my life, so it's very important to me not only for professional reasons, but personal reasons as well.
 
Chris Adler said:
Looks cool, but I have to wonder how you can get away with raising money via Crowdfunding to personally benefit (computers, upgrades, software) which means profit from a property you have to rights to? Have you looked into that?
Click to expand...

What are you talking about? From kickstarter:

What is not allowed?



  • Kickstarter cannot be used to raise money for causes, whether it's the Red Cross or a scholarship, or for "fund my life" projects, like tuition or bills.
  • Creators cannot offer equity or financial incentives (ownership, share of profits, repayment/loans, cash-value equivalents, etc).
  • Projects cannot resell items or offer rewards not produced by the project or its creator.
  • Creators cannot promise to donate a portion of funds raised or future revenue to a cause.
  • Projects cannot offer rewards in bulk quantities (more than 10).
  • Kickstarter cannot be used to fund websites or apps focused on e-commerce, business, and social networking.
  • Kickstarter cannot be used to fund software projects not run by the developers themselves.
  • Kickstarter cannot be used to buy real estate.
  • Projects cannot offer alcohol as a reward.
  • Projects cannot offer genetically modified organisms as a reward.
  • No self-help material (books, videos, etc). This includes projects that offer (or produce materials that offer) business, emotional, financial, health, medical, sex/seduction, or other self-help advice.
  • No offensive material (hate speech, etc); pornographic material; or projects endorsing or opposing a political candidate.
  • No tobacco, drugs, and drug paraphernalia; energy food and drinks; or nutritional supplements.
  • No contests, raffles, coupons, gambling, or lifetime memberships.
  • No bath, beauty, and cosmetic products; electronic surveillance equipment; eyewear (sunglasses, prescription glasses, and others); firearms, weapons, knives, weapon accessories, and replicas of weapons; medical, health, safety, and personal care products; or infomercial-type products.
Click to expand...

Where does it say you can't profit? What's the point of a hand up if you're not allowed to stand up.
 
Hey, funded in 2 days. Well done. You must be over the moon - onto stretch goals! :cheesy:

Just remembered kickstarter won't zap the card until the end of the campaign so my pledge is in for the blu-ray.
 
Last edited:
Egg Born Son said:
Hey, funded in 2 days. Well done. You must be over the moon - onto stretch goals! :cheesy:

Just remembered kickstarter won't zap the card until the end of the campaign so my pledge is in for the blu-ray.
Click to expand...

Awesome!! Thanks so much! :) You betcha I'm over the moon! The response has been insane, can't believe we got funded that quick! Also, in regards to your question, the profiting issue comes more into play because I don't own the Star Trek copyright. I'm not supposed to profit off of someone else's work, so I have to be sure to keep meticulous records to show that I'm not just pocketing money on the Star Trek name.
 
Ah, I see. Common sense will surely prevail and as you point out you are not the first to test these waters. I would have thought fan material can only benefit the franchise, maintaining interest in the fanbase between now and the next iteration. If you have doubts you should contact the appropriate people and/or talk to the makers of one of those other films you mention. Would suck to get slapped with a cease and desist in the middle of production.
 
Egg Born Son said:
Ah, I see. Common sense will surely prevail and as you point out you are not the first to test these waters. I would have thought fan material can only benefit the franchise, maintaining interest in the fanbase between now and the next iteration. If you have doubts you should contact the appropriate people and/or talk to the makers of one of those other films you mention. Would suck to get slapped with a cease and desist in the middle of production.
Click to expand...

Sorry for my delay in getting back. Yes, it would indeed suck to get slapped with a C&D :P But I'm not worried about it. I have some contacts on the "inside," and everything should be good :)

In other news, I've just released the entire opening scene of the film! Would love for you all to check it out and let me know what you think :)

 
Watched the trailer. Have a few unsolicited things to offer. 18 seconds of a black screen? I seriously thought there was something wrong with my player, like I didn't have the right Flash installed or something. I restarted it to see if the video would kick in, thinking that maybe the audio was working but the video codec wasn't or something. Nothing came on screen until 18 seconds in. So, now that the video has kicked in, I can see that was intentional. But I doubt it's the right choice -- I mean, I'm still watching, and it's literally over a minute and twenty seconds of nothing more than an establishing shot? Followed by an over 20-second shot of basically a closeup of a gun? Not a promising start for today's hyper-short-attention-span internet audience. People have done entire films in 20 seconds, and think of how much storytelling gets done in a 30-second TV commercial. Spending more than 20 seconds on a shot that tells us nothing, is frustrating for the viewer.

There's obviously a tremendous amount of work here. Would be disappointing to see it fall short due to ignoring a few fundamental principles of filmmaking, such as:
1. Show, don't tell. Film is a visual medium. 80 seconds of basically nothing but narration is suitable for a book-on-tape, but not a movie.
2. Get in late, get out early. Don't linger. Get into a scene at the absolute latest possible moment, and get out of it as soon as you can.
3. Hook the viewer into the character's plight. I watched the whole thing and I still have no idea who the main character is or what he wants. Yes, I know that there's some powerful weapon that he doesn't want to use, but -- who is this guy? What does he want? And why should I care about whether he gets it or not?

Good luck with your project; will be interesting to see how this turns out.
 
Not sure if you've tweaked the edit since Barry saw it but I didn't mind the intro bit and the close up on the gun. Although I am pretty much middle-aged now and agree that a younger internet generation may lack the patience. If this was a short then the slow pace would definity be wrong but for a pre-title teaser in a feature it may be fine. Personally I like a slow minute or two of 'meditation time' to transition from the real world to the movie world in a feature. That said by the title, like Barry I only had a vague idea of what was going on. Without the context of the rest of the film it is hard to say whether that is a good or bad thing for pacing and mystery.

There did seem to be something lacking in terms of an impact moment stating 'this guy is important' or even 'what has happened here is game-changing'. Avail yourself of the language of cinema here. A low angle shot when he makes his entrance will establish his importance. A high angle shot of the pair of them before they activate the weapon, preferably from a distance, will demonstrate that they small and alone in a big universe.

Also the erasing of the planet did not have the impact of scale somehow. Perhaps some kind of visible reaction from a character is needed. Perhaps a look away close up of the female where she expresses momentary horror at what they have done, turning into steely resolve as she commits to supporting his agenda. Or a display from him of internal conflict, a sense of tragedy and shifting of responsibility for his actions onto his enemies 'look what you've made me do'. In Star Wars you have both the explosion and Leia's reaction when they test the death star. Here there isn't that sense of loss. We don't know for sure the planet is inhabited, there is little sense of the magnitude of loss and the apparent power of the weapon is not felt emotionally.

I will say that I do like the emotional space the characters are inhabiting and the lack of 'pow' surrounding the weapon does share that emotional space. I don't know if it is working and it wasn't powerful but I did like it. A moment of doubt, regret or other contradictory emotion could go some way to both humanising and relating to these characters, also providing some confirmation that erasing a planet is in fact frowned upon in your universe.

I agree with Barry's third point, there wasn't a clear sense of motivation. Without context I can't be sure whether the mystery around this is intentional and plot driven or a failure of script/editing. The dramatic question of 'why did he do it?' doesn't have to be answered at this point in the movie. But if you do not then you must make more effort to ensure the audience is actively asking the question, make the motivations mystery more compelling. Think Benedict Cumberbatch in the latest movie. His intensity early on and the contradictions in his actions, words and behavior kept you second guessing and involved. He clearly believed in what he was doing but what was it that he actually wanted? The fact the good guys didn't know either and the question of whether the good guys were even the good guys supported this dramatically. In this clip, from the dialogue I could glean that the character knew his actions were wrong but felt he was justified in taking the action. But this was only evident through the 'tell', not the 'show'. Again it could be as simple as the moment of emotion: horror, regret, doubt that I mentioned earlier but there does need to be an emotional hook to engage.

The final thing I will mention is the camera work. I already alluded to the lack of drama in camera angle choices. Everything is filmed from the same level with only how tight to frame the shot providing any variety. Other than that the only other technique was the shaky cam which I didn't think worked at all. There was no apparent motivation for shaking the camera and it didn't cut well aesthetically with the locked off shots. I'm not a fan of shaky cam except when used sparingly and deliberately to unsettle the viewer or is strongly motivated such as being hit by a missile. However if you are going to use it purely as an aesthetic choice then stick to it. The intercutting of unmotivated unsteady long shots into locked off close ups was really jarring.

To finish on a positive though the acting was as good as I've seen in a fan film and the CGI was up to par. Otherwise this early (and rushed) edit is quite encouraging and a few small tweaks will make a dramatic difference. I already get a sense that might be more dark and gritty than the average star trek fan film.

Final thought is to remember non-star trek fans as you make this film. Even though it is a fan film don't assume your audience's familiarity. Fans can be casual or hardcore and may not know everything you think they do. I've watched a lot of Trek for a scifi fix but wouldn't identify as a star trek fan. And I've only ever watched two episodes of Enterprise. So I am not sure if the face scars are a racial feature or whether they have been marked as criminals. Maybe I'm missing some history here that you've assumed I know the background of? Remember the non-fans while you make this and it will be a better film. Establish important details even if fans should know them and even if non-fans don't watch it, it will still be a better film.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top