Southwest Airlines Commercial (HVX + M2)

S

Sheppy52

Well-known member
EDIT: I am posting a second cut and I need to know which one you guys like better. (In this new one I cut the first scene and extended the final scene). I like both but I feel that this new cut lacks the establishing shot and may be spacially confusing (not knowing where all the characters are in relation to others). PLEASE let me know what you think between the two of them. Here is the second cut www.sheppycre8tiv.com/atg2.mov. The original is found in the post below. Keep in mind I HAD to keep it at 20 seconds.

Shot this for a contest a couple days ago: www.sheppycre8tiv.com/atg.mov (Right click save as please)

The VO and graphics is theirs (pulled it off of YouTube) and only put it on their to see what it would look like.

Let me know what you think. Hopefully the humor is not too immature for most :).
 
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It ain't too bad, but felt the start was a bit slow. Also, the guy with who says the 'should we warn him' line - i felt that his shot had way too much headroom, and that really bugged me
 
Thanks. This is my first real shoot with the M2 and the first shoot I've ever done with any lighting setups. I didn't use a steadicam I just held m tripod in th air to get a handheld look. I actually shot a behind the scenes too (well the guys that were there did) and I'll post it whenever I get it edited. Thanks for the compliment Schmovies, I'm pretty new to the "filmmaking" biz so comments like those are welcome :).
 
I could be wrong but maybe you should cut from black very quickly to the part where the man says "Should we tell the new guy." Instead of seeing him walk up to the door, that would remove the slow start I think. Good job though, pretty funny.

- Kyle
 
I see where you're coming from kyle but there are a few things. One is that my part of the video has to be 20 seconds exactly....thatt is all the live action stuff. Your cut left it at 16. Second I wanted an establishing shot which you cut out, it gives a sense of what the "office" looks like since the rest of the shots are just medium CUs and CUs yunno? And also the silence that you cut out in between dialogue was consciously put in there, it added to the comedic timing, your cut seemed a little too fast, I wanted it to seem as though these two who are talking have been here at this job for a good while (long enough to be able to label one of the guys as "awkward touchy guy") so they seem cool and calm about what is going on there. Does anybody else feel that the beginning is a bit too long? If so I will try to find a happy medium but there is not much else to do seeing as how it HAS to be 20 seconds. Thanks Kyle.
 
Looking back at my cut I can see that maybe the first cut between "that must be the new guy" and "yeah do you think we should...." seems a little long but I want it to feel like the are looking at him, sizing him up, because in essence, that is what they're doing. Would still love to get some opinons.
 
Yeah, that's what you get when you just get friends to do it and don't cast parts. The only real actor there is the guy who says "do you think we should tell him...." I thought the touchy guy did a good job too. Could you be more specific with what you didn't like about the acting, for next time?
 
the first shot of the first version is narrative essential and the akward touchy guy in the second version is overacting (the sniffing) and i loose the empaty with the new guy i had in the first version. I would go for the first version virgin untouched. Good luck let us know
 
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