Solomon Chase's Adfest Entry - "Focus"

nice spot... One thing, the product shot looked kind of drab... just my opinion... otherwise, good spot... though if these guys are partners in crime, I am sure they wouldn't just split up like that, lol.
 
Very well done and funny to boot. I did find the partners splitting up strange at first, but I understood why you did it at the end.
 
Gulroc said:
Very well done and funny to boot. I did find the partners splitting up strange at first, but I understood why you did it at the end.
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Thanks!

The original script shows why they split up, but 30 seconds was too much of a cram. (heck, it still is. The current ad has 20 shots in 30 seconds!)
 
If anyone else wants to comment on the pacing or anything that seemed off, I'd be glad to hear it. It's hard for me to look at it from a "first time viewing" perspective
 
I liked the plot and it was well shot. The angles were cool and there was obvious production value behind it. However, it felt more like a short film edited down to the length of an ad. It left me kind of confused as if someone played a feature film on fast-forward.

Also, now, after about 14 hours of watching the ad, I remember the plot but don't remember what the product was.
 
Top two.

One of the few that had an argument about the product that was tied to the plot of the ad.

Looked amazing.

Would have liked to more clearly establish the white guy. Maybe with a medium close for "30 seconds till the cops come". The narrative was there but slightly confusing for me I think due to the fact that I thought I was supposed to be following / thinking about / remembering what the black guy was doing because he is set up as the main character of the spot due to him performing the bulk of the action and how long the camera holds on him at the very top ... so I think the other guy should have been getting the money or at least have a medium of him in that scene that lingered, or have cuttaways of him watching the black guy empty the drawer, either of which would have suggested that I follow / think about / remember what the white guy was doing. As it was, the focus shift in the middle put me out of it a bit.

But very well done and as I said, top two. Going back and forth between this and Doug Spice's Zombie chase. Both were ambitious and polished, but I think yours a bit more so in both categories. His was so clear and simple though. Weighing how much of a ding the main character confusion was for me against the rest of the commercial's excellent qualities. Tough call.

Excellent job.
 
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I really liked this one, but I have a few questions...


It looks like a well planned piece, but why does the Kinetica bottle look like a last minute thing?

They are three different color choices in the ad. First the blue that's starts it off then it is also in the elevator. Then that look in the hallway and tunnel. Finally the outside look. Were these looks a stylistic choice? I understand the difference between the color choice between inside and outside, but I can't figure out the motivation for the other two. Are they separating the mood/feel of the two characters?

F.Y.I... I'm just trying to get my understanding of lighting down so that's why I want to hear more.
 
LynchMob said:
I really liked this one, but I have a few questions...


It looks like a well planned piece, but why does the Kinetica bottle look like a last minute thing?

They are three different color choices in the ad. First the blue that's starts it off then it is also in the elevator. Then that look in the hallway and tunnel. Finally the outside look. Were these looks a stylistic choice? I understand the difference between the color choice between inside and outside, but I can't figure out the motivation for the other two. Are they separating the mood/feel of the two characters?

F.Y.I... I'm just trying to get my understanding of lighting down so that's why I want to hear more.
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The different color schemes weren't totally intended, but because of mismatches in natural lighting and white balance, each shot has been skewed very "cold" or very "warm".

For example, the edge lighting on the first few shots was very blue, and the lobby was all tungsten, so I tried to make it look on purpose.
 
It didn't work for me sorry. Great visuals and audio though.
Storywise it didn't tie in together enough. Just didnt make sense.
Keep Focused... didnt buy it. It's all there. Didn't buy the script though.
Just my 2 cents.

Ya know alot of you guys can shoot and edit pro stuff. I think writers are often overlooked.
 
Hey Raptor buddy :),

My 2¢, the conceit and script for this was excellent. Maybe the script could have been a tad clearer, but I don't know I think it was more directorial and editing. But the conceit - two bank robbers, one drinks the pump you up energy drink that makes you jittery and freaks out and gets arrested, while the other drinks water (possibly enhanced?) and has energy but is able to keep his cool and waltz out of the bank is a great conceit.

I think it came down to misleading coverage in the opening moment and how the product was featured or not featured that caused the story and product to get lost. ... IMHO :) ... And I am talking just a few subtle adjustments as to what we saw and how we are lead through it. Won't go into detail again but if you are interested, see my post at the top of the page.

:beer:
 
Looks great, and a nice concept! I have to agree with some of the comments that you bit off a little too big a chunk for the time allowed. As a 60-second spot this would be sizzling. In 30 it's a little rushed and confusing. I agree with Jack that the most confusing aspect is the switch in character perspective.

Nice stuff, though. One of my favorites.
 
Solomon Chase said:
The different color schemes weren't totally intended, but because of mismatches in natural lighting and white balance, each shot has been skewed very "cold" or very "warm".

For example, the edge lighting on the first few shots was very blue, and the lobby was all tungsten, so I tried to make it look on purpose.
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This worked well for me and seemed completely intentional and I think helped clarify the narrative and made it easier to follow for the middle act ... one world for the good drink ... one world for the bad drink, each represented with contrasting color grading - seemed like a wwell executed choice that helped tell the story.
 
I agree, this was very ambitious and for the most part well pulled off. There is the slight confusion which Jack refers to and I think his solution, of giving a little more up-front attention to the "Kinetica" robber would have sold this completely.

Very well done!!

I'm surprised no one has mentioned the "DVX Bank" on the elevator doors. Either he was very bold and painted that on those doors, or is really good at motion tracking, or got very lucky and lives near a bank called DVX Bank :thumbsup:
 
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