So I got stopped by a cop.

Evan S

Evan S

Veteran
I was parked on the corner in a private housing complex. I was sitting in my car, my window was rolled down. A patrol car entered the complex.

I watched as the patrol car passed me. I made visible eye contact with the female officer driving the car. They turned the corner made a U-Turn and double parked next to my car, somewhat blocking me in.

The male officer in the passenger seat asked me if I was okay. He said I looked bummed out. I responded that I was maybe a little tired and disappointed. However, I felt generally OK. The officer said he did not feel comfortable talking to me through the window. He got out of the vehicle.

At this point he has NOT cited me for doing ANYTHING wrong. I got out of the vehicle as well. I told him, if he wanted to talk about something I'd feel more comfortable getting out of my vehicle.

At this point both officers got out of the vehicle. The female officer seemed very passive and unalert. The male officer took the lead, and proceeded to grill and question me. He repeated that I did not look okay, and that something MUST be wrong.

I finally said that I was a little bummed out that I couldn't see my girlfriend, she didn't seem like she wanted to talk to me, and that she was now asleep upstairs.
This is when the officer - I feel - misused his authority and jumped to the conclusion that I had gotten into a psychical altercation with my girlfriend. Which I assured him was not the case.

I felt very uncomfortable and felt as if the officer was trying to force something on me, or make me admit to something. I immediately changed the subject - I could not figure out what I was stopped for. I asked the officer to explain what I had done wrong. He replied that I was ILLEGALLY PARKED. I was not in a red zone. He cited the DISTANCE FROM THE CURB. I told him I was unaware it was illegal to park in front of someones home. He threatened me with a parking ticket, and said he would "take me to jail for a parking violation."

While all this was happening my girlfriends sister had approached in her vehicle and parked.

The officer approached her and asked her to get her sister. From my SECOND-HAND knowledge he told my girlfriends sister that I may have KILLED her and he was afraid she may be DEAD upstairs. The officer seemed to be acting VERY STRANGE.

The female officer was chatting to me while this was taking place. She took down my information. Social security number, and place of address. She seemed to be acting the polar opposite of her partner and seemed not to care much. She showed much disinterest in it.

While her partner was over talking to my girlfriend and her family. He came back to me, and started asking me if I was okay. He asked the question several different ways. In which I responded EVERYTHING IS FINE. I explained to the officers they were causing more bad than good. That sometimes things can be simple and that common situations of a persons personal life do not need to become complicated matters.

I understand the officer acting the way he did INITIALLY but I felt he misused his authority in the end. He did not immediately cite me for doing anything wrong. Continued to search deeper into a matter that I already explained was OKAY. He scared my girlfriends family. Was VERY unprofessional, and rude in demeanor.

He continued to ask personal questions of me about my relationship with my girlfriend and her family. I responded it was none of his business. He persisted however. I feel I finally had diffused the situation by telling him exactly what he wanted to hear.

I am disappointed the way each officer handled this situation and the female officers lack of intervention, I don't know if she cared about my feelings. I am also disappointed in the male officers uncaring over my feelings but also the feelings of others in this overblown over-thought situation.

The police department does not need officers to threaten it's cities citizens with detainment when clearly they haven't done anything wrong. Assumption can be dangerous. The officer clearly could not differentiate assumption from understanding. He was very condescending. It makes me loose faith in those who are sworn to PROTECT and serve. We also have system that says you are INNOCENT until proven guilty. This particular night I felt guilty, of something that I didn't do.

//and by the way me and my girlfriend are fine.
 
wow. at least you kept your cool and did not go to jail. Cops can be asses sometimes. I always keep my cool with them, It's just easier that way.

That cop was totally in the wrong.
 
That's simple disgusting.
Have you filled a complaint yet?

Sorry for all your hassle, that's truly disheartening & downgrading. As well as possibly stressing & tearing family relationship's more. I think you'd be totally within your right to do something about it.
My father's in the CT & Police force here, in Scotland. Out of all the stories I've heard from him over 11 year's. That's really bad, different countries or not, more so the female officer is just as bad for not doing anything about it.

Glad you & your gf are fine.
 
I filed a report with the police department. Stupidly I didn't get their badge numbers. I got one of their names, and gave a pretty good description. However, they should be able to look up the location and time and my name, and pull up the reports filed at that time. It was very disgusting.
 
Almost exactly the same thing happened to me one night when I was in college, except it was a friend's house, not a girlfriend. I was putting on my necktie in the car before going up to my friend's door. Remember skinny, leather neckties in the 80s? *shudder*

After the bully cop got through intimidating and abusing me (four cops approached me with hands on guns, silhouetted by car spotlights, totally cinematic!) and finally realized that they had screwed up, and I was no threat to anyone, just going out with my friend, the cop gave me the same bullshit about how I'm lucky he doesn't cite me for being parked too far from the curb, even though I was not.

Unless TV has lied to me, you cop is about to get a warning from Internal Affairs, then he's gonna come after you in Act II for retaliation and escalation.
 
I've got uncles that are police officers and I can't ever imagine doing the job they do. I realize that law enforcment are supposed to always act in a proffesional manner but can you imagine some of the stuff they would see every day? Accidents, death and so on, that's got to change something inside of them and create situation where they have bad days or act like assholes. My uncle for example was called in to help clean up the beach after Swiss Air flight 111 crashed off the coast of Nova Scotia, that messed him for a good while (I'm sure picking up body parts would do that).

Now, in your case, what that officer did was totally uncalled for.

I dunno I just don't like how cops get this reputation as heartless pricks, they've got to put a shield up in order to do their job, sometimes I'm sure that is difficult to take down or let their guard down.

I've been in a situation where I was driving across Canada with a buddy and after a long day (which included my car breaking down in the middle of nowhere Ontario, waiting 6 hours for it to be fixed) and then stopping in Thunder Bay to visit the Terry Fox memorial, I parked my car in an empty parking lot somewhat over one of the lines, we come back from the memorial site and there's a cop sitting on my car, he then decides to berate us for 45 minutes insisting we had drugs on us, threaten to call a dog team up until I finally gave in and let him search my car (I know my rights and he had no grounds to search it, but he just wouldn't let up and I finally aloud it) Asking questions 3 different ways in order to try and trick us. I was never more insulted in my life, here we've driven half way across the country and decided to stop and pay respect to a Canadian hero and have this asshole cop treat us that way still pisses me off to this day. And to make matters worse he had is hand on his gun the entire time and then proceeded to follow us completely out of town.

It's a tough job and somebody has to do it, I realize that and cases of excessive use our abuse of power happen, but keep in mind for every asshole cop there's 10 good ones.
 
I understand why the cop would stop you at first... but once it got to the point "we think he may have murdered your sister", ummm, yeah, that's a bit much. Good you filed a complaint. Like JConners said, for every ass are ten good ones. But you never remember the good ones. Just the asses.
 
I just got off the phone with internal affairs. That guy was pretty nice. I explained the entire situation. They have to look for a policy violation. I'm about 50% percent sure I was not parked illegally. It was sort of an awkward drive. The curbs are curved so it's easy to drive up them. Anyway, that wasn't really what it's about.
It's a misuse of authority, and basically scared the **** out of my girlfriends family for no reason. Saying I KILLED her. It's just a stupid situation. A full apology where the officer ADMITS his wrong doing would make me feel better. However, I doubt that will happen.

what is Act II for retaliation and escalation?
 
I wasn't there, so, although it sounds unfair, what else was going on at the time?

I have dealt with both cool and uncool police officers. But have you ever had a bad day, and then said something to someone you really didn't intend? What calls were the cops on just prior to meeting up with you.

Based on what you said, and where you were, think about what was going through the officers heads. Stalker? Predator? Domestic Violence? These people encounter some really bad characters on the job, and hear every excuse under the sun. In their eyes, you attracted their attention, albeit you were not doing anthing wrong, there was suspicious activity in their eyes. You were sitting in your car in front of your GF's house, "bummed out". That would raise red flags for me too.

What time was it when this occurred?
 
There were probably a few key words you said that made them suspicious "I finally said that I was a little bummed out that I couldn't see my girlfriend, she didn't seem like she wanted to talk to me, and that she was now asleep upstairs."

Why were you outside of the apartment just hanging in your car? To me and you that statement is probably taken just how it sounds, under the circumstances to a police officer it may have sent up some flags.

The officer approached her and asked her to get her sister. From my SECOND-HAND knowledge he told my girlfriends sister that I may have KILLED her and he was afraid she may be DEAD upstairs. The officer seemed to be acting VERY STRANGE.
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Now this is just bizzare, him telling her family that he thought she was dead and you killed her. That's just ridiculously stupid.
 
If you acted suspicious the cop was just doing his due diligence. I'd rather cops cared too much than too little. The illegal parking thing was way over the top though and would have set me off as well. It does sound kinda creepy-stalky the way you described yourself. What I thought of immediately was that the GF had called the cops and said you were stalking her or somehow harassing her, or at least that maybe she was a little concerned and would like someone to drive past.
 
You were both in the wrong. The cop, and you. The cop - obvious. You, for giving him an excuse.

Remember this iron rule: NEVER, EVER talk to cops, under any circumstances, except to state your name and address (where you reside). Deny all requests to search. Ask: "Am I free to go?" If the answer is "no", ask what you are being arrested for, and make note of their badge number.

Remember: A LEO is not your friend. You can ONLY LOSE by talking to a cop - it doesn't matter if you are guilty or innocent, witness or merely a bystander. NEVER, EVER, talk to a police officer, period. NEVER, under ANY circumstances, about ANYTHING. Here is a video from a noted attorney speaking to this very issue. Absorb that information, and act on it:

http://www.blog.joelx.com/great-video-never-talk-to-the-police/1387/

You were so ridiculously wrong, you are lucky not to be in jail right now. A LEO is always in an adversarial position vs the public in our legal system - something recognized by Supreme Court Justices, and their advice too is "DO NOT TALK TO A LEO UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, BEYOND STATING YOUR NAME AND ADDRESS OF RESIDENCE". When our legal system changes, this advice may change - until then: DO NOT TALK, PERIOD.
 
Ming said:
Good one, OC. I'm down with just not talking to the coppers.
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When Supreme Court Justices, veteran cops, prominent prosecutors and attorneys all tell you the same thing, it's usually a good idea to listen :)

To repeat for emphasis:

NEVER talk to any cop under ANY circumstances for ANY reason. Just state your full legal name and address of residence - that's it, full period.
 
Who is this "noted attorney"?

I think that's bad advice that if anything creates a hostile environment between civilians and police officers. I've had some strange interactions with police on a few occasions - i can tell some funny stories! - but have always remained calm and friendly and have never in the end had any "surprise" charges thrown against me. And on many occasions I've found police helpful, whether with directions or other information, or with car problems, etc.

As some have said earlier, I'm generally happy to see the cops being a little proactive, as long as they remain courteous and lawful. The cops saying that they thought you had killed your girlfriend sounds overboard... but I can't help but imagine perhaps they said something like "we want to make sure he hasn't done any harm to her" and the sister then inflated that a bit. The description you give of yourself does sound a little strange, and I also thought it sounded like the police had been called - if not by your GF, then perhaps by someone else who lives nearby.

I'm not denying your experience, or saying that no cops ever go bad... but cops are in general helpful and friendly, and tasked with protecting us... I don't think they should be shunned as advocated here. The same advice could apply to talking to ANYONE.
 
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ullanta said:
Who is this "noted attorney"?
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You never watched that video I linked to, huh? It's well worth your time. The attorney in question is Criminal Law professor James Duane from Regent University in Virginia who has been a defense attorney for many years.
 
From Wikipedia, for what it's worth: U.S. News & World Report ranks Regent University School of Law as a Tier 4 school, [30] the lowest ranking within the law school category.[31]
 
I think it's sound advice, especially if you are guilty of something, and most certainly if you are hauled in for questioning I wouldn't say anything before talking to a lawyer.
 
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