Sleep With Grace

RallyMonkey

RallyMonkey

Active member
This summer I completed a short film called Sleep With Grace.

It was the first film that I've done with a full production. Shot on the DVX100B. It was filmed with a two man crew, with myself acting as director, writer, editor, and director of cinematography, and then my girlfriend as producer and boom operator.

If you can take a moment to take a look, I would really appreciate it. Any comments or suggestions would be much appreciated as well. I am just starting out, so I am looking for all the advice I can get.

You can take a look at it Here

Thanks a lot.
 
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It was worth the time. That ending was so funny. I had my ear phones on and volume was just perfect. The acting wasn't stellar but the dialogue made up for it. Other than that you could probably saturate your colors a bit but this was absolutely funny. Also I think an extra frame got caught in one of your edits though, I think it's right as they sit down to eat in the park. Great job.

-Nate
 
Some flaws, but that's ok, seeing it's your first time.

Audio was actually pretty good, but in the first scene it sounded not as good.

Acting was OK. Shot were nice, but some had a bit to much head room.

The scenes were WAY to long, try to get more cover footage, and I know you might be a bit scared of that seeing as you might be worrying about the continuity. Just cut down the scenes.

When the two friends near the end were on the swing having a bit of an argument, you could have easily gotten a close up of there faces while this discussion happened, would've added some drama to it.

Again, the picnic scene was way to long, you could've easily made this 24 minute film to 10-15 minutes. A lot of pointless dialog to.

Get more "Two person" shots, even with the picnic scene. Get an over the shoulder shot. Not just a medium wide of the two the whole time.

Nice boom pole at the 12 minute mark, haha. It's happened to me before, I had luck and I could edit it out, as I think you could to.

At the end who's house are we at? You didn't really point that out. I'm guessing we're at Grace's. During the piano song, I would have like to see the reaction on Grace's face, just to even cut it up a bit.

Well done for your first time though, man. Keep it up.

Robbie
 
Thanks very much for the replies, and for taking the time to view the movie.

I'm glad the audio turned out well. It's something I fretted over a lot in pre-production. All the things I had read about audio here scared me into doing it at least adequately.

I had a lot of struggle with the time. Originally the script was 35 pages, I got that cut down to about 20 pages, but that still ended up at 30 minutes when completely edited. So I set forth to cut it down, and due to the lack of coverage, I couldn't find many places to smoothly cut, without taking out full scenes, but I did take out a few scenes.

Coverage is definitely one of my biggest problems, along with lighting. Something I really plan on working on. Oh, and getting boom poles out of shots.

The end was at Grace's house, I had a few establishing shots that were much like the establishing shots the first time he went to Grace's house.

When it comes to the shots, I think we disagree here. I have never been a fan of most shots seen regularly. Especially over the shoulder shots. With my composition I attempt to get the composition that would be most similar to if you were in the room while it was happening. I try to get the camera to a natural place where one would stand if you were to listen to their conversation. If you were standing listening to a conversation, you would not move between standing behind one person, looking at the other over their shoulder, to standing behind the other. Just looking over someone's shoulder is a very awkward place to watch a conversation. When I am doing the camera as an active observer, like I was trying to with the first scene, I rarely move the tripod during the coverage. I zoom and pan, but I don't move. Much like you do when observing.

You might disagree with my feelings on this, and that can work very well. And I might have done a poor job at it, but I am fairly proud of my composition in this one.

Thanks very much for your thoughts, and I'll be sure to keep an eye out for them next time.
 
The song at the end was awesome!!! lol. I enjoyed this movie alot.. I do however have to agree with Robbie that the continuous medium shot makes you feel like an observer, which is fine, but doesn't help the audience connect with the character in anyway. Usually it is a combination of doing both that has the greatest effect. Also, I agree that some of the dialogue seems dragged and doesn't really help move the plot along. Considering this is more of a comedy though, that's not that big of deal. I look forward to seeing more stuff from you. Good job.
 
Really enjoyed it. At first i thought itd be too long but it carried well, somethings i would have done differently, such as more camera angles, but its not like it took away from the story. Great script, cant wait to see more, keep up the good work!
 
I'll ditto what everyone else said...but I have to say...my face really hurts after watching that last scene...lol.
 
Thank you very much for the comments.

I'm glad you're all enjoying it, that's the most I could really ask for.

Thanks again.
 
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