theoroll
Active member
I'm using an HVX200 for a sketch comedy project. All feedback is welcome.
http://www.mediafire.com/?87jygwybitt
http://www.mediafire.com/?87jygwybitt
Sketch Comedy
- Thread starter theoroll
- Start date
Honest feedback?
Honest feedback?
It's okay, overall, but could be better.
1. The picture quality is great, looks real sharp, good focus, good picture for relatively small size. Might be able to get a little smaller with compression, and not lose too much, and in doing so make it more 'passable' as in FWD:able.
2. The framing isn't always ideal. A big broad establishing shot is fine, but eventually you're going to want to get a little closer. The last shot is the greatest example of that. This is a lesson I've learned recently, (and am still learning), but at any given moment you should ask yourself: "What am I filming?"
With the last shot you have two choices of what you could film (well, an infinite #, but here are two)
A. A pier, sitting on the water, with a guy running/dancing along it. OR
B. A guy running/and dancing on a pier.
Do you see what I'm saying? You shot A, which is majestic, instead of B, which would've been funnier. The audience doesn't really get to see what's going on, because fully 90% of the visual information you are giving them is "Here's a pier. Here's a pier. Here's a pier. Here's a pier. Here's a guy. here's a pier." At 24 frames per second. If you're going to buffet my brain with info, shovel "here's a guy running goofily". I'd rather watch that, than a pier.
Don't mistake this as an argument against wideshots. There's humor in "The vast desert. A guy runs through it." that would be lost in "A guy runs through the desert."
The distinction I'm making is ... just check when you're shooting, whether the SUBJECT of the sentence describing the action, is the subject you're shooting. It doesn't have to be, but you'd be surprised at how frequently it is.
(another example I just remembered: You shot "A flight of stairs, with a guy sitting on them." rather than "A guy talking, sitting on some stairs."
Lastly: 3. People doing goofy things is only marginally funny. People doing goofy things while other people watch, is considerably funnier. The awkwardness of that guys moves would be a 1000x more appreciated, by the audience, if he were doing it at the mall, or in a gym. What makes being awkward funny is the concept of being watched.
Phil
addendum: The new lastly:
Are you familiar with the concept of a "reveal"? Basically in humor, the idea is the very last thing you say, or see, should undermine and redefine everything that happened before it. That's what makes people laugh. If you show off your punch line early, and then just keep showing them the punch line, it's not new, and doesn't require any active reinterpretation by the audience, thats when jokes get old. I see the guy dancing and I hear him waxing philosophical about his dancing. At 16 seconds I see that it's not sincere, so the rest of the video is just static, realistically speaking. Look at Little Miss Sunshine. The whole movie is funny, leading up to the dance, but then when you actually SEE her routine, it redefines a huge corner of the movie, and you laugh even harder. How boring would that final scene have been if we'd seen her dancing the whole time?
Honest feedback?
It's okay, overall, but could be better.
1. The picture quality is great, looks real sharp, good focus, good picture for relatively small size. Might be able to get a little smaller with compression, and not lose too much, and in doing so make it more 'passable' as in FWD:able.
2. The framing isn't always ideal. A big broad establishing shot is fine, but eventually you're going to want to get a little closer. The last shot is the greatest example of that. This is a lesson I've learned recently, (and am still learning), but at any given moment you should ask yourself: "What am I filming?"
With the last shot you have two choices of what you could film (well, an infinite #, but here are two)
A. A pier, sitting on the water, with a guy running/dancing along it. OR
B. A guy running/and dancing on a pier.
Do you see what I'm saying? You shot A, which is majestic, instead of B, which would've been funnier. The audience doesn't really get to see what's going on, because fully 90% of the visual information you are giving them is "Here's a pier. Here's a pier. Here's a pier. Here's a pier. Here's a guy. here's a pier." At 24 frames per second. If you're going to buffet my brain with info, shovel "here's a guy running goofily". I'd rather watch that, than a pier.
Don't mistake this as an argument against wideshots. There's humor in "The vast desert. A guy runs through it." that would be lost in "A guy runs through the desert."
The distinction I'm making is ... just check when you're shooting, whether the SUBJECT of the sentence describing the action, is the subject you're shooting. It doesn't have to be, but you'd be surprised at how frequently it is.
(another example I just remembered: You shot "A flight of stairs, with a guy sitting on them." rather than "A guy talking, sitting on some stairs."
Lastly: 3. People doing goofy things is only marginally funny. People doing goofy things while other people watch, is considerably funnier. The awkwardness of that guys moves would be a 1000x more appreciated, by the audience, if he were doing it at the mall, or in a gym. What makes being awkward funny is the concept of being watched.
Phil
addendum: The new lastly:
Are you familiar with the concept of a "reveal"? Basically in humor, the idea is the very last thing you say, or see, should undermine and redefine everything that happened before it. That's what makes people laugh. If you show off your punch line early, and then just keep showing them the punch line, it's not new, and doesn't require any active reinterpretation by the audience, thats when jokes get old. I see the guy dancing and I hear him waxing philosophical about his dancing. At 16 seconds I see that it's not sincere, so the rest of the video is just static, realistically speaking. Look at Little Miss Sunshine. The whole movie is funny, leading up to the dance, but then when you actually SEE her routine, it redefines a huge corner of the movie, and you laugh even harder. How boring would that final scene have been if we'd seen her dancing the whole time?
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Justyn
Veteran
Did seem to be a bit of a clunker as far as a one note thing from begining to end... but comedy is hard anyway. I've produced a few sketches and about to do another series so it's about doing what you think is funny and keeping it brief and fast and too the point. You got 10 seconds to hook 'em and it has to sustain and be cut accordingly... brevity and constant enhancment of the concept through the completion of the humor... plus you've covered something that a lot of others have done before..
theoroll
Active member
machardi - Thanks for the feedback.
1. Do you have any specific compression settings that I should try? I have access to Compressor and Sorenson.
2. I agree with the framing, it should be more varied, and there should be some tighter shots. I also agree with you about the emphasis. I should shoot the subject in the environment, not the environment with a subject within it.
3. Having people view the dancer and react would be interesting, but I don't agree that that's the only avenue to humor. It is another approach, but it really feels more like a stunt than a satire.
I am familiar with "reveals" and dramatic irony. Once again, this would be a different approach. I do appreciate the suggestion, though. Thanks again.
Justyn - I appreciate the thoughts. I was wondering if you could please explain:
1. Do you have any specific compression settings that I should try? I have access to Compressor and Sorenson.
2. I agree with the framing, it should be more varied, and there should be some tighter shots. I also agree with you about the emphasis. I should shoot the subject in the environment, not the environment with a subject within it.
3. Having people view the dancer and react would be interesting, but I don't agree that that's the only avenue to humor. It is another approach, but it really feels more like a stunt than a satire.
I am familiar with "reveals" and dramatic irony. Once again, this would be a different approach. I do appreciate the suggestion, though. Thanks again.
Justyn - I appreciate the thoughts. I was wondering if you could please explain:
Also, do you happen to have examples of "a lot of others doing it before"? I wouldn't want to put something out there that's been done the same way many times. Thanks!
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I would check the boards, using me as a reference for compression is not your best bet. Also, google. I use FCP compressor, but I know you can get a 3 minute video to under 90 minutes, and maintain quality.
As far as enhancement of the joke, he's talking about the same thing that I'm talking about as far as a reveal, to an extent. Once you've asserted your premise, there has to be something else, eventually. Satire only works if you take the source material, and really explore the various facets of it. Your source material (Modern Dance) is fairly rich, but you mine a very limited range of it (Self-Important 'profound' self reflective speech, mixed with 'funny' dance moves), you don't add anything or enhance the joke.
Did you see the SNL iPhone spoof? Not the one that aired, the other one. It starts off with the guy talking about his phone, relatively innocuous. But each line reveals something new about his situation, or the way he conceives of it. He talks about how he likes hitting cops. Then a moment later, he refers to it with slang, "pig punching". That gets a laugh because of the alliteration, but also because it implies a familiarty blah blah blah. Then later he mentions how good it is to have music handy when he's coming down from his meth high. Then at the end, they pull back to show the "iPhone black backdrop" and then cops chase him off the screen. Another 'reveal'/enhancement/elevation.
If he'd spent the whole video just talking about how he likes hitting cops, it would've gotten old. That's -enhancing- the joke.
How to enhance your joke? Have more people involved talking about it. What does his Mom think about it? How about his girlfriend? Do we have pictures of him in dance class as a child? Did he always move like this? Was he on an athletic team? Does he do this at clubs? What does he think of other dancers?
Here's a sequence that would probably work:
Scene of our guy watching breakdancers in a subway in front of a huge crowd.
Cut to scene of our guy doing his dancing in front of one confused person.
Out of desperation he uses a break dance move.
The "audience" smiles, and gives him a quarter.
Our guy reverts to normal dancing.
The "audience" frowns and watches for a while.
Then they take back their quarter.
Then they reach in and take another quarter "For making me watch that."
(VO "But I knew one day that my dancing would catch on.")
Back in subway, he sees the breakdancers. They are emulating him. People are ecstatic.
etc,etc.
Phil
As far as enhancement of the joke, he's talking about the same thing that I'm talking about as far as a reveal, to an extent. Once you've asserted your premise, there has to be something else, eventually. Satire only works if you take the source material, and really explore the various facets of it. Your source material (Modern Dance) is fairly rich, but you mine a very limited range of it (Self-Important 'profound' self reflective speech, mixed with 'funny' dance moves), you don't add anything or enhance the joke.
Did you see the SNL iPhone spoof? Not the one that aired, the other one. It starts off with the guy talking about his phone, relatively innocuous. But each line reveals something new about his situation, or the way he conceives of it. He talks about how he likes hitting cops. Then a moment later, he refers to it with slang, "pig punching". That gets a laugh because of the alliteration, but also because it implies a familiarty blah blah blah. Then later he mentions how good it is to have music handy when he's coming down from his meth high. Then at the end, they pull back to show the "iPhone black backdrop" and then cops chase him off the screen. Another 'reveal'/enhancement/elevation.
If he'd spent the whole video just talking about how he likes hitting cops, it would've gotten old. That's -enhancing- the joke.
How to enhance your joke? Have more people involved talking about it. What does his Mom think about it? How about his girlfriend? Do we have pictures of him in dance class as a child? Did he always move like this? Was he on an athletic team? Does he do this at clubs? What does he think of other dancers?
Here's a sequence that would probably work:
Scene of our guy watching breakdancers in a subway in front of a huge crowd.
Cut to scene of our guy doing his dancing in front of one confused person.
Out of desperation he uses a break dance move.
The "audience" smiles, and gives him a quarter.
Our guy reverts to normal dancing.
The "audience" frowns and watches for a while.
Then they take back their quarter.
Then they reach in and take another quarter "For making me watch that."
(VO "But I knew one day that my dancing would catch on.")
Back in subway, he sees the breakdancers. They are emulating him. People are ecstatic.
etc,etc.
Phil