Sitcom Teaser

Justin

Justin

Active member
Hey guys, wow havn't posted here in almost a year. Anyway, finished a little sitcom teaser over last weekend. Actually it was written in 2 days, shot in one and edited the next. Phew!

But yeah, here it is. My buddy Yuri ("Jargon" here on DVXuser) wrote & directed it (happy yuri?) and I was on camera and lights. (I also did some acting)

Shot it on tape, so it's standard def. All of it is hand held except the interview part. Enjoy and let me know what you think.
-Justin

http://www.dvds.org/yuri/Break a Leg (Large 720).mov
 
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Have to give credit where it's due -- my brother co-wrote it with me. Also, it wouldn't have looked nearly as good if you weren't shooting it.

But I've mentioned that to you already, and I fear your ego is growing... So, let me just say that working with you is like working with syphillis -- you're HAPPY that you got laid, but then hey, you have syphillis.

You know?

Hope you all like this -- we put a lot of work into it, and have slept around 5 hours in 5 days. thanks for watching!
 
Justin and Jargon.... Sitcom looks really funny. Liked it a lot! Actually having funny lines and actors.. what a concept. What's your plans from here? Going to produce a full pilot? Series of episodes? Or just a fun goof...?


If you haven't checked into it yet, Comedy Central is running a sketch comedy/pilot competition. Has to be under 5 minutes so I think this would apply and who knows... might get on motherload or possible development deal...

This is my next endeavor. I'm shooting a sketch comedy show and going to cut a 5 minute version for CC... figured it wouldn't hurt and it's giving me something to aim for and a realistic deadline...


Thanks for sharing... Looks sweet and I hope to see more...
 
Hey Justyn,
That Comedy Central contest sounds cool. But I couldnt find any info on it at their website. You have any links to some info about it?
And thanks for the comments guys.
 
don't think it's comedy central.

It's called sunnyfx or something, and fx is doing it.

http://www.myspace.com/sunnyfx

There's some info, I believe.

by the way, this reminded me so much of Arrested Development it's not even funny. Well, yes, it is funny, because it's like AD. Really cool.
 
Justin said:
Hey guys, wow havn't posted here in almost a year. Anyway, finished a little sitcom teaser over last weekend. Actually it was written in 2 days, shot in one and edited the next. Phew!

But yeah, here it is. My buddy Yuri ("Jargon" here on DVXuser) wrote & directed it (happy yuri?) and I was on camera and lights. (I also did some acting)

Shot it on tape, so it's standard def. All of it is hand held except the interview part. Enjoy and let me know what you think.
-Justin

http://www.dvds.org/yuri/Break%20a%20Leg%20(Large%20720).mov
Click to expand...

You gots to be kidding me!

This R.O.C.K.S.!

Dude, it's just enough inside and just enough outside that people will get it.

This looks waaaay better than Man Eats Dog!

Very Nice!
 
FX is doing it but that deadline is in a couple of days. The one for Comedy Central is for August 24th... Who else is going to enter? I have a bunch of material I'm shooting for jut the pilot.. 5 minutes and maybe 15-20 sketches.. I have abreviated comedic taste...


Here she is..

http://www.comedycentral.com/events/test_pilots/index.jhtml


Make sure you watch their video and scan through the guidlines. Would be great to have more people from DVXuser competing. I'm using this to force me to get off my ass and do the show. It's just too convenient to sit back and relax here with the kids.. do the occasional gig... Damnit it's time for some comedy.
 
Nice job.. Got an "office" feal to it.. Pretty darn funny.. Swamblers..

Gotta see more of the hot secretary!

- - Justin
 
This absolutely screams Arrested Development rip-off....BUT....I loved Arrested Development, and I miss it, and maybe if you ever get this picked up it can take AD's place. Very good job.
 
I'm really impressed...it does have that AD knock off feel, but it's so good it doesn't matter. That Swamblers theme sounds almost the exact same as Wrench, on AD.

Lead actor seems kind of young, as do some of the other actors (Jennifer) and the voice over could be done over professionally, but it's a great base.

Some impressive humor, as well. Good job.
 
Thanks for all the positive comments, guys! You made us all very happy.

Just a quick response to the AD comments.

First of all, we're flattered. Obviously, we all adore AD, and I personally think their writers are part genius aliens, and part comedy robots (there's a sitcom right there.) Here's the thing, though. As far as shooting style -- it's as much AD as it is The Office, Firefly, Sunny in Philly and countless of other shows that are out -- it's the new thing and we like it and thought it fit. The comedy is very similar to AD -- but it's also similar to the Office as well as Sunny in Philadelphia -- shows we were all, also, very much inspired by and love. In other words, I think, or at least, HOPE, that while it's similar to AD -- it's as much as Friends is similar to King of Queens, Seinfeld, Frasier, and so on. It's a style of show that's becoming very prevalent -- and as long as it's still original, I think it's okay. I hope? Maybe? Yes?

That said -- I think if we were to shoot the full pilot, we may do another gag instead of the stills -- as I think, most likely, that's the biggest thing that makes people think of AD and as we were doing this pilot for a contest, we needed a way to quickly explain plot points without showing them -- that was the best way, and we rolled with it, and it came out like an AD gimmick. We'll probably end up thinking of something else.

Oh, and also -- as far as the lead actor being too young -- sitcom writers are mostly 21-30 years old (30's really pushing it). Most studios don't want writers that are older, as they are not as "hip." Also, it's the butt of a few jokes, and, if we shoot a full pilot, it will definitely be the target of more. Him being young furthers the idea of his innocence in this crazy world, etc. etc.

Anyway, just wanted to explain the reasoning/ideas behind some of that stuff. Again thank you all for the positive feedback! Makes us think we're doing something right!

Thanks guys!
 
personally I thought this was pretty great. Yes, the AD comparisons are inevitable, but I thought this was definitely some of the best comedy stuff I have seen on this site.
 
Funny stuff, congratulations. I wouldn't worry about being accused of ripping off another show, cause you weren't, you were sharing a style that I have seen variations of quite a few times. If we had to worry about being completely original befor doing anything, there wouldn't be anything. Just about everything you read, see on tv or listen to in music is an amalgam of earlier works. You name any work of art, music or writing and it would be pretty hard not to find an influence of an earlier work. Now tell us how you got scott peterson off deathrow to act in the opening scene of your sitcom. The laughtrack gag was very funny. I would have gone tighter in on the framing of the auditions and possibly spent a little more time on the lighting. Otherwise nice work and good luck with it. It had me engaged.
 
Scrappy said:
Funny stuff, congratulations. I wouldn't worry about being accused of ripping off another show, cause you weren't, you were sharing a style that I have seen variations of quite a few times. If we had to worry about being completely original befor doing anything, there wouldn't be anything. Just about everything you read, see on tv or listen to in music is an amalgam of earlier works. You name any work of art, music or writing and it would be pretty hard not to find an influence of an earlier work. Now tell us how you got scott peterson off deathrow to act in the opening scene of your sitcom. The laughtrack gag was very funny. I would have gone tighter in on the framing of the auditions and possibly spent a little more time on the lighting. Otherwise nice work and good luck with it. It had me engaged.
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Thanks, Scrappy. We feel the same way about it -- like I said, this is as much AD as Will and Grace, Friends, King of Queens, etc. etc. are all one another. It's a style of comedy, and we dearly hope people don't consider it a "ripoff."

As far as framing and lighting -- I sorta see what you mean on the auditions. Though it doesn't bother me. Lighting you're right about -- it's passable, but our lighting guy is in Europe, and we had a day to shoot all of this (with three crew men) -- so it was hectic and unfortunately lighting was done as quickly as possible.


Anyway, thanks for your thoughts!
 
Good stuff. I agree with the AD sentiments, but I think it's more reminiscent than 'rip off'. Funny stuff, I laughed several times. I wish you the best of luck as you guys definitely have talent. Good work.
 
Just to give some honest feedback:

You really surprised me. I actually liked it. (Not that ya'll weren't capable!) I thought that it was unique and funny.

I do have to say though that there are some things that could have been done better.

1. Lighting. The lighting just seemed really flat to me.
2. Framing. I didn't feel that the framing gave it that "hey, this is a real TV show" kind of look.

Though I found myself buying in to the characters and such, if this was shown on TV as is, I would not grant it as much merit as other shows.

The pilot didn't keep the suspension of belief. I did not feel that I was watching a TV show. It felt like a DV pilot.

Granted, you only shot this in one day. I understand you weren't gunning for Hollywood right off the bat. I see that there is some talent there and some real potential. I also know that neither one of you pretended that this was anything more than a quick DV pilot for an idea that ya'll have.

I am really glad that ya'll posted this.

In closing, I would like to say that if you want others to be serious about your work (like entering pilots in for competition), then you need to take yourselve's seriously. Get some lights. Get some sound equipment. And by all means, please get yourself some cards so you can get that HD quality. Rent, buy, beg, whatever.

If you ask for feedback, I will definitely give what little my advise is worth.

Thank you for sharing with us. I really enjoyed it! :D
 
SexyPants (teehee)
Yeah I follow your statement about the lighting. It was definitly not the best it could be. But I like to think that if we had out lighting guy and a complete light kit it would have looked a whole hell of a lot better. Seeing that he got back in two weeks and the contest ended in four days, I think that we did the best with what we had.
As for the framing that didn't have the "tv show" look, I am a bit confused. Could you elaborate on that?

All in all we do appreciate all the critiques we get here in this forum. They have been very helpful in trying to make what we do even better.
But Sexypants (teehee), to imply that we were not taking ourselves seriously is an insult to everyone that was apart of this production. Because I know that I and every one else involved gave it everything that they could.

-Justin
 
Justin,

I wasn't trying to say that ya'll were not taking yourselve's seriously. I can definitely see how you could take it like that, though.
In closing, I would like to say that if you want others to be serious about your work (like entering pilots in for competition), then you need to take yourselve's seriously.
Click to expand...

What I really meant was that you owed those things to yourselves because ya'll have some really good ideas. I am sure you take your craft seriously. I definitely take you seriously! :)

I went back and watched and re-watched the pilot to try to give some examples of the framing issues.

I realize that ya'll were going for that handheld look (at least, it looks like it to me). I see that the rule of thirds is in pretty much every shot, so it isn't like there are any major blunders. (Though I have to say before the female "Swambler" walks in the room, the framing does look a bit weird to me.)

I went and watched a trailer of one of my favorite shows, Nip Tuck.
http://www.fxnetworks.com/shows/originals/niptuck/main.html
Your pilot and Nip Tuck are not in the same style, but I think I realized what made that "tv look" for me for Nip Tuck and not always for your pilot. It was really the shots they chose.

In Nip Tuck, there is a lot of dialogue. They choose a wide array of different shots to add to the mood and feel of the scene. Though there is nothing wrong with the shots in your pilot (I rather liked the introduction and the ending parts), I felt that I was seeing the pretty much same shot through most of the pilot: seeing the characters from the chest up (the medium shot, and the medium close up).

Just my opinion, and I hate that I seemed abrasive to you earlier. My apologies! Thanks!
 
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