"Sigh of the Sea" - 12 Minute Short

CodyBrown

CodyBrown

Active member
Hello Everyone,

I just finished the first cut of a short film and I would love to hear some feedback.

I am planning on submitting this it to a number of festivals so please be as honest as you can about places where it needs work and feel free to ask any questions if you have them. If you are curious about the title it was borrowed from a Jack Kerouac novel.

http://codyb.com/sighofthesea.htm (Click on the quicktime picture to download)

Thanks so much,

-cody

Here are some production stills:

59.JPG

10.JPG
 
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Greetings Cody!

Alright, I just finished watching your movie and I have a few comments.

I know you said this was your first cut so I know nothing is locked down as of yet but in some scenes the audio just drops off. Bring it up, it's kind of weird having to look at the beach with no audio then slowly fade into it.

Another thing is the sky. You have this blown out sky though most of the movie except the last two shots where you have this awesome looking shy. It seems you guys ran out of light. Or was that on purpose to transition to the night shots on the pier? I would of really loved to see that sky on the earlier shots because that's the first thing I thought of when I saw it.

I also got the feeling of two different shooting styles that seem to going on. The handheld shoots with the free moving between everything I thought was nice especially with your opening titles and music. Everything just seemed to fit together. But then you go for the tripod shots of the actors when they are saying the dialogue and you go for the tripod shots. To me (and I may be the minority with this) but I think it may have been a little better with all moving handheld shots to maintain that feeling you went for in the beginning.

From what I got from it this is a story about two couples who meet up at the beach and they cheat on their partners.

It kind of reminds me of a video I might see on the Hollister clothings website.

Acting, was alright. Everyone felt natural and nothing felt too forced. Which was good.

I guess that last thing is that I felt it was a little too long. Trim some of the fat off it kind of lags in the middle. Maybe also move your credits to the end of the movie. Audiences don't know who you are so save that for the end.

I think after you trim and fix the audio a bit, this will be a nice little piece. With shorts you get and you get out as fast as you can and don't let the audience start thinking until after it's over.

Keep it up!

PS

You shot this down the street from my house. Hehe. Gotta love that pier. Are you from the OC area?
 
That was very good, but in some parts i started to lose my attention towards watching it. and the audio also seemed a lil soft at points. But you did a very nice job and i think this has potential.
 
hey cody, what's up. Butch from RT...



liked your film, was impressed. but you have always been talented.

so when did you get a DVX? or did you rent?

i agree on the sound in spots, and with the "more handheld" comment.

acting was decent-good, even on your part :thumbup: (meeting up with the other couple, you did a good job with your reactions to the blonde girl)

too long overall, just try and tighten up some sections of it.

liked the story, opening was done really well.

also like that you have really pursued using original music in your stuff, it really gives it a life of its own :beer:

great job man, look forward to seeing the final product.
very real story, been there before...on both sides.

and i was thinking that only two people are cheating (blonde & cody), not all 4?
 
Liked it. I think the first few minutes blew the rest of the vid out of the water. Tighten it up and fix the audio and you should be golden.
 
I sort of agree with other people here. I think you are very talented. You have a Soderbergh'esque feel to your work, just very free-flowing and natural. I like it. I agree that the audio drowns out, but I couldn't tell if that was on purpose or not. And if it was, I loved that choice. Because it wasn't really about listening to what these people had to say, it was about seeing them interact with each other.

Also, the first three minutes is definitely a lot better than the last three. The title sequence was freaking awesome. Images, music, and titles fit perfectly. The beach stuff was cool, especially in the water. But once it gets to night, I can't really see anything (i assume this plays a lot better on a large screen) and now when I really DID want to hear what the actors were saying, the audio was still muddy (i assume it was done in-camera) and that's when the movie lost my interest a little.

Still, I love the style and feel of your films. Good luck.
 
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