Should I quit...?

O

Oller Visuals

Well-known member
Maybe I'm just another guy posting videos of flowers on vimeo. I don't know. You tell me:

http://vimeo.com/user3563817/videos
first short: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_IsIQLrK1Pg
photography: http://martinoller.deviantart.com/gallery/

You need higher education to get a job, at least in Sweden.

I have attention disorder and can hardly read a page at a time. Anything I'm not genuinely interested in takes a huge amount of effort to get inside my head. The crappy jobs you used to get after collage aren't here anymore. I could take pills for ADHD & help me concentrate in school and get a higher education, but then it kills my creativity.

I don't even have a drivers license, I can't read the books.

I love filmmaking. Being creative is what I live for. Writing, taking photos, making films, painting.... it's the only thing I know. And I don't feel sorry for myself.

But I just don't know anymore. I'm 26 and I can hardly pay my bills.
 
Last edited:
Oller Visuals said:
I could take pills for ADHD & help me concentrate in school and get a higher education, but then it kills my creativity.

I don't even have a drivers license, I can't read the books.
Click to expand...
Ok, this is the DVX Cafe section, so I´ll just speak frankly and give you my 2c:
From what you posted of your work, you are no van Gogh. You´re also no Herb Ritts. And you`re no Spielberg either.
Not saying that you can´t produce something significant, if you focus on your work (you already finished a 10min short, congrats!).
But focus is the problem with ADD (I write out of experience).
Focus is the difference between a successful artist and the one you`ve never heard of.
The one who was more occupied with thinking about how creative he is, what he would do next, how he could express himself.
The successful one was just creating like a maniac. He wasn`t satisfied with the first draft and did a second. And a third. And a fourth.
He was driven to make it happen. To create.
This doesn´t even mean he was financially successful, just that after he was gone, there were actually works to show what he had done in his years...

So, here comes my bucket full of advice: Take two years off your creativity, take some Ritalin and start a cognitive behavioral
therapy.
Study, read, finish papers.
I´m pretty sure after some time, you´ll adapt to the "feeling of being not creative" and find out, that although it isn´t as exiting as before,
(no more high or rush when you think about how you´re imagenary feature would look like, when shot on the 4K BMCC and so on...), you
actually produced sth from start to finish.
So, get some help, you are so lucky to live in Sweden, you don´t even have to pay for it (!).
All the best, Chris
 
Do you really want to quit?

If so, do.

If not, throw yourself into your work without reservation or regret.

Get enough sleep, eat healthy (try more protein at breakfast, like eggs), and don't drink too much coffee - these steps helped calm my ADD without the questionable "benefit" of medications.
 
I definitely get where you're coming from. It's a very sad and frustrating place to be mid 20's and constantly struggling to even pay the most basic of bills.

I also suffer from ADHD, though perhaps a milder version than you. But it still makes concentrating on anything extremely difficult for me. Writing scripts and editing especially are very problematic for me, so inevitably they end up taking far too long, and the quality probably suffers as well. So how do you combat this? Well, my current plan is by trying to surround myself with very talented and responsible people. I cannot trust myself to get certain things done in a timely manner, so the more help I get the more it frees me up to just use my intuition and creativity. I don't see any other way in my current state. Unless you are a genius and can concentrate on various tasks for 12 hours a day, you need to collaborate.
 
Spartacus said:
Ok, this is the DVX Cafe section, so I´ll just speak frankly and give you my 2c:
From what you posted of your work, you are no van Gogh. You´re also no Herb Ritts. And you`re no Spielberg either.
Not saying that you can´t produce something significant, if you focus on your work (you already finished a 10min short, congrats!).
But focus is the problem with ADD (I write out of experience).
Focus is the difference between a successful artist and the one you`ve never heard of.
The one who was more occupied with thinking about how creative he is, what he would do next, how he could express himself.
The successful one was just creating like a maniac. He wasn`t satisfied with the first draft and did a second. And a third. And a fourth.
He was driven to make it happen. To create.
This doesn´t even mean he was financially successful, just that after he was gone, there were actually works to show what he had done in his years...

So, here comes my bucket full of advice: Take two years off your creativity, take some Ritalin and start a cognitivebehavioral
therapy.
Study, read, finish papers.
I´m pretty sure after some time, you´ll adapt to the "feeling of being not creative" and find out, that although it isn´t as exiting as before,
(no more high or rush when you think about how you´re imagenary feature would look like, when shot on the 4K BMCC and so on...), you
actually produced sth from start to finish.
So, get some help, you are so lucky to live in Sweden, you don´t even have to pay for it (!).
All the best, Chris
Click to expand...

This.

I would like to ad that being the creator, the photographer that gets paid well, the Director that gets paid well, instead of the technician that is a good DP, camera operator, Gaffer, etc., is not 100% all about talent.

It's also luck, AND a huge dose of people skills.

There's thousands of young men that can sing just as good or better than Justin Bieber, but they will be lucky to get 50 bucks for an evening doing a gig in a bar, while Bieber makes millions and millions of dollars. The same is true for photographers, actors, directors, painters, sculptors, writers, any sort of artist.

But there's someone setting up the sound board for Bieber and getting paid every day and you can get those jobs if you're good at it.

There's an actor out there that is every bit as good at playing a character as Johnny Depp, but Depp is making millions while that guy is doing free local theater.
 
Last edited:
If you were 46 I'd probably say you should look at doing other things, but at 26 you've barely started the journey. I don't live in Sweden and I don't have ADHD so I can't comment on those but I see lots of people (of all ages and experience levels) just kinda floating about the business w/o goals. Or if they have goals they haven't sat down and figured out a realistic plan to achieving those goals. Have you set long term goals and then figured out what smaller goals you need to meet in order to hit the long term one(s)?

For example, when I was in my early/mid 20's I made a goal that I wanted to be supporting myself full time as an editor in Los Angeles by the time I was 30. I then researched that goal (read things on line, talked to other editors about the path they took and how long it took, etc.,) and laid out smaller goals that would be the stepping stones to my main goal. They were basically find entry level work in post production, move up to assistant editor then move up to editor. I started out the dub room of a post facility, moved up to valut manager at another post facility (I eventually started doing some light assistant editing work), then I moved onto an Assistant Editor position on a couple of TV shows and finally I started editing full time (for a living wage) at another facility when I was 29. It probably took me 5 or 6 years to reach my 'editing by 30' goal (not including a few years of wandering aimlessly right out of college) and that was with every decision being evaluated through the prism of 'will this help me get to where I want to be?' I of course worked on an endless number of side gigs and non-paying projects over this time period as well.

The key is not just to have goals but to have goals on a timetable. If you don't create a schedule to stick to then you'll keep pushing back your goals indefinitely. When I've talked to people that work on big network shows or big feature films it seems like having a 10 year plan is about normal so be prepared for the long haul. I'm currently working on a new goal (editing documentaries full time) and for that I've had to take a step back to assistant editing and will have to work my way up to editing docs/unscripted content.


-Andrew
 
Having money to pay the bills is overrated. Unless you have a job opportunity that's sure to make you filthy rich, I'd rather struggle to pay the bills doing something I love than take a soul deadening job that pays a modest but reliable salary. You may enjoy the comfort of a steady pay check at first but, over time you'll feel trapped, wanting to do something else but not wanting to give up your moderately comfortable life.
 
Speaking from experience - stop but don't quit.

Take your time sorting everything out and come back once your good and ready because if you really love what you're doing then you'll always find a way to go back to filmmaking. I'm not far off from where you are - I realized that everyone in our generation wants instant success and to my dismay, it just doesn't work that way =b

If you're still reading this far down the thread, then you're one step closer to what you want to happen and I wish you all the best!
 
From what you posted of your work, you are no van Gogh. You´re also no Herb Ritts. And you`re no Spielberg either.
Click to expand...

^ I know it's not a straw man argument here, cuz no one is arguing (give it time).....but I don't think the OP ever claimed to be striving for those lofty aspirations. It just seems a bit blunt to say "you're no Speilberg" when he never claimed to be such. (Off topic Spartacus, whenever I see your name I always read it as "Sparat-a-cus" like Alicia Silverstone says in Clueless. Am I alone here? Anyone?)

But your post is great advice. Hell, they've all been great so far.

I love filmmaking. Being creative is what I live for. Writing, taking photos, making films, painting.... it's the only thing I know. And I don't feel sorry for myself.
Click to expand...

So yeah, a great point. I am going through some career struggles @ age 41. Things are going *fairly* OK, but often I feel like cutting and running. Problem is, I don't have a fallback profession. I was thinking of starting a thread on that subject.

@ the OP or anyone else that cares to chime in, if you could find an alternate career path that would allow you to make films or shoot photos in your spare time, what would it be? I'm just curious. For me I think it would have to be something that still involves creating something, such as landscaping.

Now Oller, for what it's worth I skimmed through your short war film earlier today, I thought it looked great. & the time lapse star footage in your backyard was awesome. You've got skills, stay the course & tune out the negativity.
 
Scott F said:
It just seems a bit blunt to say "you're no Speilberg" when he never claimed to be such.
Click to expand...
Just to clarify: The follow up sentences were meant to explain the "you're no XXX" sentence. The sentence wasn`t meant to be read alone or even as an insult. Maybe I should have put a "not yet" in it ;)
 
Last edited:
Not gonna lie, this shot is pretty baller...

light_and_dark_by_martinoller-d65edi0.jpg

Lot of great advice in this topic. IMO, you need to stop using ADD/ADHD as a crutch, and just stand up and walk straight. I struggle with the same thing, and it f--ks me up sometimes. I get frustrated, because I'm getting nowhere, but I think it all comes down to what adkimery said: set clearly defined goals, with small steps to focus on. If your ADHD is anything like mine, you have a lot of ideas, but lack the focus to hone in on one idea and dedicate yourself to whatever time and effort it takes to bring it to life. That's not going to go away, it's something you simply have to deal with. My best advice? Routine, routine, routine. I used to get up at 8:00 am every Saturday and Sunday morning, go to the gym (exercise is huge in combating attention deficit), then go straight to Starbucks (find a place that works for you) and stay there for about 3-4 hours. I wouldn't always write much -- sometimes, not anything at all -- but the important part was sitting in that seat for 3-4 hours on a Sat/Sun morning and repeating it the next week.

I recently changed up my living situation, moved towns, etc. So I have to find a new routine in my new place, but if anything's going to help you work through your ADHD, it's just that. Good luck, and don't f--king quit. You've got guys on here with real experience, giving you great, sound advice on how to touch the sky. All that's left for you is to keep reaching till you make it happen.

-EMB

P.S. If you have trouble with ADHD, one of the second best things you can do (arguably the first) is to spend some time focusing on working on OTHER people's films/TV projects, rather than your own. It's still an intensely creative environment in which you can potentially thrive, meet new people (possible collaborators), possibly earn a little money, but most importantly, you're learning how to make films without being in a constant life-or-death mentality that goes along with spearheading your own project. I've seen some amazing films come out of Scandinavia over the past decade. Get yourself out there!
 
Thanks guys. Spartacus' post is pretty spot on. Also this:

Eric Boellner said:
Routine, routine, routine
Click to expand...

The more creative I am the better I feel, but other things suffer (like routine). I've been stuck at the computer writing a 120 page script in three days, only to discover that the kitchen has turned into a dump and I'm like ""who the hell lives here?!" I guess the part that scares me is what is left if I take away the creative part... it's like a drug habit. I need my creative "fix".

I know you don't need talent to make it (it's more about personal skillset and luck, got friends who used to look up to my work and now they're very successful on their own).

My biggest fear is walk the footsteps of my dad, he never achieved anything in life.
 
hawaj said:
Never quit doing nice pictures or videos!
Click to expand...
Right on.
Your stuff is gorgeous. Congratulations.
Sorry I cant help guide you through your life - I'm still trying to figure mine out - and I am 4 times older than you!
Good luck!
 
Take two years off your creativity, take some Ritalin and start a cognitivebehavioral
therapy.
Click to expand...
Please don't take this advice, this is irresponsible at best, anyone that suggests you take RITALIN, and take two years off from creating, after reading one post is in no way qualified to give this type of advice, What are your credentials? and why do you feel you can prescribe a treatment plan to a complete stranger with close to no personal info on the individual? Jesus, last week a post was deleted due to a mod feeling it was irresponsible for another member to try and guide someone to fix a 20,000 dollar lens. And now we have members prescribing drug based treatment plans to strangers. What if this guy decides to buy some Ritalin online and pop a few because someone over at DVXuser said it worked for him, see my point. You have to be very careful interacting online, you never know who your dealing with, and who will hold who liable. I guess I take this stuff very serious because were talking drugs, I've administered mind altering drugs for a very long time, (approx. 17 yrs. on and off, and yes, I am licensed by the state to do so.) I've seen adverse effects, and allergic reactions from many different meds. Only a doctor can make a diagnosis, and prescribe a treatment plan legally.
 
Absolutely do not quit. I understand the frustration, trust me I have similar issues, plus some recent health challenges (That I am not going to detail on an internet forum). You gotta do what you gotta do to take care of your business, but you got one thing going for you... You do know how to make some very good images. That may not pay the bills, but by gum that is something. If I were to offer anything like a suggestion it would be to maybe try and turn your camera inward and start to try and capture the beauty of the struggle that you are going through. I know that when you are down in an everyday struggle it is very hard to see the beauty of that but it is there. I think that you have the eye to find it. I remember a concept that I think about a lot that talks about "The Sweat on a wine glass". The idea is that anyone can enjoy a good glass of wine but to to truly embrace life one should take the time to appreciate the beauty of the light refracted through the beads of condensation that form on a nice and chilled glass of wine (White wine of course... shaaa). I know that sounds hooky but that concept got me through some of the toughest times in my life. Yeah, life can be hard, but it beats the alternative ya know! Sometimes you have to just take a breath and look at the beauty around you and embrace it. You got a camera, and you dang sure know how to use. Don't quit, keep shooting, document the beauty that you see. That may not solve all of your problems but dang it, that is more than many folks have.
 
I have theory backed up by years of experience......

Many people who work in this industry ( the visual end ) have some form of reading problem. Myself I had dyslexia at a young age. IMO it is no mistake that this industry has such high proportions of the above & it has nothing to do with employing the unemployable. It has everything to do with the fact that because we cant read well we visualise and we do it excedlingly well in fact better than most. So well in fact we are world leaders in this profession....like Speilberg, Tom Cruise, Quentin Taratino, George Lucas, Francis Ford Coppola...oh and another famous name outside of the biz ...Da Vinci.

Get the picture ; )
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top