Short Video - Feedback needed

M

motochron

New member
Hello all,

This is the first time I have posted a video here. I have been lurking in the shadows watching the amazing movies that are posted here. I am not in the video making business, but would like to be someday. This is a hobby for now. I have been making my own crude movies about motorcycling for a few years, but wanted to see if I could step up my game a little.

Filmed with a Sony HVR-A1U this is a little commercial that I made. I was not happy with the raw footage, so there is an overuse of Magic Bullet Looks. I was also trying out a home made dolly for some of the shots. There is one that I think came out great, the rest are ho hum.

Anyway thought I would post it here to get some feedback from pros to see where I could improve it. Thanks for taking the time to watch it.

I didn't know where else to put this, it is not a user film, and doesn't really fall into any other category.

Thanks
-Chris


 
Hey welcome!

good effort.

My crits would be, if you want to make a commercial then first look at a real commercial and study them.

(1) almost no footage/scenes of the anyone actually riding the bike (except near the end).
(2) The tracking shot of the text just didn't work
(3) The scenes did not seem to be consistent, way too many different looks all mashed up (IMHO)
(4) randomly displaying the model number made no sense, if instead you displayed perhaps key specs (along with the camera focusing on those specs, e.g "Dual XX type brake disk etc" then the camera focuses on the brake.. you get the idea)
(5) No idea what the grid thing was about, perhaps if you had blueprint line diagrams of the bike, with locked down footage of the bike in action in the BG?

anyway maybe others might be able to add a few more thoughts..
 
Thank you. That is exactly what I am looking for, it is hard to look at your own creation objectively. I wanted to get shots of the bike in motion, but I made this alone making it hard to getting anything but a locked down shot of me driving by.
I was inspired by this commercial for Lamborghini

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I AGREE


The car is static in this and I thought I would see if I could make it work. I rushed through the titles in after effects wanting to see a finished product. I think I am going to tweak it some more today, and maybe go out and get some different shots. It was my first time using Looks and I know I went a little crazy with it.

I am just looking to improve my abilities, and this seemed the best place to get honest constructive criticism.

Thanks again
 
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Good job! Glad to see you're trying things out for yourself! We always welcome fresh blood... err new faces. :) ;)

Now onto the maiming... err comments...

Typography (fonts) is looked over and ignored by beginners just as much as sound. Currently the font choices you have scream amateur. You don't need fancy fonts with cursive writing and elegant serifs.

The main title, the "digital font" for the digital numbers and things on a grid, as well as the tracking shot with the title (stencil like font?) look really amateur.

Think of this. Never use any fancy fonts, with outlines, fancy cursive writing, ect... unless it's very subtle and looks very professional. Any of the fancy fonts I've seen online all look really crappy. They're fun, sure, but don't use them for anything professional. The commercial you used as an example used a very nice font. It's a bit fancier, but they found a perfect font for what they wanted. It has a more military feel to it, but it's still very subtle and works well.

So this leaves the more neutral fonts. There's seriff vs. non-seriff. On these boards the fonts are Sans-serif. Sans-serif would include Ariel, Verdana (these boards) and Helvetica. Something like Times New Roman is with serifs (as in this example).

Serif vs non-serif give off different feelings. Serif usually only works for more fancy/elegant styles, or old time styles, and only if the font REALLY works. I've only used one type of serif font for anything design wise, and it's not times new roman. Non-serif is for sleeker, more modern/contemporary styles. Helvetica is used OFTEN by designers. I like it but some designers HATE Helvetica.

Anyways, be sure to try things out, try new more neutral fonts. Or if you must have a fancier font, try and do a lot of searching for a really great font that feels more neutral and conveys what you want.



As for the rest of it I agree with Anhar. I mean it works for the most part. You get that 'cool' feeling. But some of the grids and things look a bit too amateur and ruin the piece a bit. Also some of the color grading as well. I think you just need practice.

Some traveling shots would work great as well. Even the Lamborghini commercial had some traveling shots, just a POV thing instead. But you need that feeling of going fast.

All in all it felt a bit everywhere, with the fonts, the looks, the feel. Be sure next time to have something to connect it all together, to make it feel like one piece.
 
Thanks Jon, really appreciate the feedback. Being a newb to all this I am kind of blindly going through the motions with no real course. I pick up bits and pieces of information and try to make them work. I know it is a mediocre video, but that is why I posted it here. I want to take things to a higher level.

As far as work flow, with this video I picked the clips I liked took them to after effects and added Magic Bullet, and then back to Vegas to edit. That is the reason for the hap hazard look of it. Is it better to lock your edit and then color correct the entire piece? And do your final render from After Effects?

Thanks again,

Chris
 
The first image was a chain-linked fence, what has that to do with anything. The first thing I should see, feel experience is SPEED!

I agree everything Anhar said.

If you are filming a vehicle that moves, especially one like this, best to not treat it like a static car commercial, but intercut static with movement.
 
Well that's why we're all here. We're trying to help each other.

motochron said:
As far as work flow, with this video I picked the clips I liked took them to after effects and added Magic Bullet, and then back to Vegas to edit. That is the reason for the hap hazard look of it. Is it better to lock your edit and then color correct the entire piece? And do your final render from After Effects?
Click to expand...

No particular way to do it. I mean you edit it all, then clip by clip you color grade it to what you like and how you feel it works with the clip that comes before and after. They don't need to match, but they need to flow and go well together.
 
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