Short scripts

alex whitmer

alex whitmer

Veteran
Three short scripts up for adoption :)


'SAME TIME TOMORROW' 12-page drama

In a small apartment complex, a woman's frequent male visitor has one nosey neighbour assuming there could be only one thing going on. Is she reading too much into it?


'NO FREE LUNCH' 6-page action/drama

The Mayor of a small town has implemented a new 'clean up the Streets' campaign. For the cleaners, it's a no-questions-asked free reign to get the job done. Just don't get caught.


'GUN BABY' 8-page drama

A bank robber is certain she's come up with the perfect heist. She forgot to factor in that one mistake will the risk the lives of two.


Any interest for a read, Pm me.

Alex
 
Totally OT question, but if you feel comfortable, I'd love to hear the answer. Over the years, I have read accounts of your screenplays having been made into shorts and features by a whole variety of filmmakers. It appears - correct me if I'm wrong - that you have taken a variety of approaches to compensation, including offering the material for a credit but free of immediate charge (again, correct me if I'm wrong). My question: given that now you have accumulated many years of experience, do you find your active efforts to market your work to have resulted in many fruitful returns? Can you say that as a result of all this activity you can now make a living as a screenwriter? Has the wide network of contacts you have made over the years paid off from the point of view of "effort to result" ratio (i.e. was the result of all that hard-work-husting worth all that hard-work-hustling)? I guess that's several questions, but basically all centered around the issue of "does such networking pay off"... the fact that you seem to keep up with it, might lead one to believe the answer must be "yes", but I don't want to presume anything, as we live in a strange world of diverse motivations. TIA!
 
I just clicked over to your site and watched Voorbij. That is shot gorgeously. I've lurked here for a couple years, mostly scooping up technical info and critiquing other people's work. Now I'd like to shoot more. Not that it's brilliant but you can see a few things I've done here:

mcdangercreative.com/film

I live in Vegas and have reasonably good access to talent and locations. If you have anything that you think might be appropriate, feel free to send it along. Thanks.

p.s. if OldCorpse doesn't savage the end product, I'll be happy.
 
I liked The Gentleman. Not that it can't be improved, but a solid effort. See, I didn't savage. Also I like your attitude - I can sense you are eager to learn, which is a fundamental requirement for a successful artist. Unfortunately a lot of people in this section only come looking for praise and to have their ego stroked, and that always means one thing: ultimate failure.
 
I hardly know where to begin. Has it been worth it? Yes. After all is said and done and credits gathered, am I feeding myself as a screenwriter? No.

Around 12 years ago I got serious about writing for film. I had tinkered in novels, poetry, journalism, stageplays and lyrics, but something about film really had all the pieces and parts I needed from writing. I half-finished one pocket guide to screenwriting – can’t remember which one - then joined my first writer’s forum (no names) in 06, I think. 05? I was really surprised at the vitriol. ‘Dude, you suck!’, was the most common feedback. God forbid if you should ask a stupid question. The bandwagon approach to pounding the s*%t out of you was the entertainment of choice. Crowds. What can you say? I joined a few more forums and found this attitude to be pretty consistent, with rare exception. I’ll even say that several of the diatribes put forth was some of their best writing. Lol. My conclusion? A writer’s worst enemy is another writer, and things were going nowhere.

It wasn’t until I stumbled on DVXuser that things finally got moving. Out of habit, I hung around the screenwriting section a while, then got curious about the other sections not seen in your writer-specific forums, and started poking around. I read up on cameras and such, and other disciplines in film. I had a whole new perspective on what it meant to write for screen. ‘Oh, it’s like totally collaborative? I can do that.’ And best of all, folks were overwhelmingly friendly and supportive. Didn’t see that coming.

I saw that there was a fest in the works – October Fest maybe - and jumped in on it. I think it would be two or three fests before I finally had a film produced. I gotta tell you, the first time you see your work translated and interpreted into film is both terrifying and brilliant. I was hooked, and it confirmed that this was what I wanted to do. It wavered to be sure after all the pointless trolling and commiserating in writer forums, where the leading mindset was to hold out for that big A-list sale. Anything less was failure. Anyone in the way was dead meat - unless they are famous or almost famous or wannabe famous, then you shove your nose up their ass.

Even though the first few shots at it didn't pan out, I was learning new lingo and the whole collaborative meeting of the minds. This is so essential to successful filmmaking: shared vision, open communication, egos on the sidelines, and so on.

Next course of action was to find more opportunities to connect directly with people making films; the ones that had cameras and sound equipment and know-how. It didn’t matter if they were students or Indy pros, so long as we connected on a particular story. I wanted to make films, and each and every one taught me something new that could be directly applied to improving the craft. You can’t get that from a book, or from hanging around writer forums. Or from hanging around any forum, for that matter. You need to hustle. Network and open your own doors. You need to accept that not all projects will be as you envisioned, and some will outright suck. But the ones that do it for you, the ones you feel do represent your work and your ideas, make it all worth it. Even if it means you’re eating your neighbour’s garbage to get it done. Hint.

Late in o7 I set up my own site/blog (thank you, Wordpress), and linked it in every forum I hung in. Pretty soon I had filmmakers from all corners of the planet asking for scripts and collaborations. What I quickly learned, however, was that very few ‘filmmakers’ actually have the IT to see it through. I think I can safely say that maybe 30% make it through production, and of those, less than half have decent to excellent production values. The rest die on a shelf somewhere, or get scrapped somewhere along production with a grab or two to remember her by. Or – stolen. It really hurts when a fave script dies on a shelf, and there is nothing you can do to find a new home for it. I have learned the hard way to keep that as an option; ownership rights revert to writer if for any reason the film cannot be completed.

I was giving it away for some time, partly because I wasn't asking, and partly because they weren't offering. I wanted credits and grabs and films and BTS I could put up on my site, so I could have a visual body of work as a calling card to future project, and it paid off. Not in cash, but in bigger projects (I won’t say better, because some of my early work is still among my fave). If I can impart anything at all to writers starting out, or even long-time writers struggling to open that door, is to embrace sacrifice to build a body of work. This will get you noticed far faster than querying till you puke. I sometimes visit the old writer forum haunts, and some ask me ‘How did you get all those credits’ and I tell them the process I used, and what I learned and changed along the way. But few if any at all will do it. 'Oh. okay, well cool'. They want to stick to old methods no matter how high the kill rate. A chance in a billion is still a chance, right?. Some have sat in these writer-only forums for 15+ years, and do not have a single credit. Nada. They ***** about it, but make very little effort to change their processes or paradigms.

I also found that most do not really know all that much about short film, and what little they do know about it, and the fests and distribution and all the dynamics that go along with it, is usually skewed. Or they just refuse to write short screenplays. Why? I have no idea. Short film is such a fantastic way to learn about yourself as a writer, and to build credits and a portfolio. Every screenwriter should want to see what their words look like on screen. In truth, I think many are frightend of that. The letting go. So much so that they stick to failed methods because it is safe. And, they can still call themselves screenwriters.

Eventually I started making a few bucks, but it has never really been big money. Not yet, anyways. One promise to pay pretty good money once a feature went into production (which it did) was never fulfilled, and to add insult to injury, my name was erased. In other words, it was outright stolen. They waited, of course, until the last T was crossed, and the funding was in the bank. Up until then, we were ‘friends’. I managed to prove it was my work and got the credit, but to date I have never been paid, and never will. And at this point I just don’t care. I could really, really use that money, but these people are just so filthy in mind and soul, that it’s best to let them vanish into the background. This kind of thing changes something inside you. Glory whores like them never look back at the damage they have done. It doesn’t matter to them. But damage it does cost, and I very nearly lost my writing mojo. It was a difficult, two-year trip back, and I’m still afraid of shadows. One lesson of many? Don't depend on contracts as airtight and waterproof. One irony of many? It was, in essence, a faith-based project, and the second of such to pull this crap.

Another downer I learned is how willing other writers are to scoop up credits, earned or not. Say you write a short for someone, send it for feedback, and it comes back with another writer's name alongside yours (sometimes 2 new names). They made some minor change, maybe added a scene - or deleted one - and get credited as a writer, as opposed to an editor. 1% of th work for 50% of the credit. See how easy it is to be a screenwriter? Arg.

Getting paid as a writer is tough. Not to grunge for sympathy, but it seems to be the one piece of the whole that filmmakers at large want to get for as close to zero as possible, so they can save the bucks for ‘more important’ production costs, such as cameras and locations and insurance, etc. These are hard costs that are easy to see. A script is squishy, and the time invested in them is invisible.

What I do not do anymore is write feature screenplays on a promise to pay once the film is funded. I can put anywhere between 1,000 and 4,000 hours into writing a feature, depending on how much I have to go on from the beginning, and how much research needs to be done. That is a big investment. Sadly, too many ‘filmmakers’ who didn’t do any of the writing are not seeing the blood and sweat that went into it, and there seems to be a half-assed attempt to secure funding. After a few doors are closed, they abandon it and move on to the next project. I lose the work (script) and any shot of ever being compensated for the time. Time, you see, IS invisible, and therefore easy to dismiss as a non-entity. This is not to say some don't try with all their might to get the film funded and produced. Many do. They get the value of the screenplay to the whole, or participated in the writing in some manner, and they are as heartbroken as you when it runs out of steam. But my experience has been that more than a fair share move on when they see the going is tough, and shelve your work indefinately.

It isn’t just the time to actually write. You have to factor in the time to do research where needed, and the time already spent studying the craft to get to the point one can write a screenplay for hire (not all writers can, or will). It is not a far stretch to approximate my total writing time at around 35,000 to 50,000 hours over 12 years. This IS an investment in craft. I think I read the 10,000 rule put forward by Malcolm Gladwell has been debunked, but the point is time is experience, and that has some value. The person who hires me today has that benefit of my total hours. And from this new project I will learn more about the craft, and the next one who hires me – or the next original work – will have the added benefit this new 1,000 to 4,000 hours of experience. It is not just the hours, though. Each project has new challenges, and new things to figure out and discover and toss aside to begin again. There is NO FORMULA !! That, and no screenwriting software is going to make one a better writer of stories. It may encourage one to try, or at least get off their ass and write, but it is not a guarantee it will make them better writers. I use Word with zero intention of ever changing. Folks snicker cuz it ain’t cool, but it works!

I am a prolific writer. I write every day. I have somewhere around 50 features written (yes, I lost count), and 260-ish shorts. An average-length feature might have 15,000 words, while an average ten-page short might have 1,500. This means I have a rough total of 750,000 words in features and 390,000 in shorts – not including rewrites, edits and deletions, and unfinished work. I’m topping over a million words. ALL on Microsoft Word. Smoke that, Mr. Gates!

Anyways, yes it has been worth it. I have a body of work I feel good about, I have learned so much about writing for film, and knowing I still have so far to go is enough to keep me moving in the direction I have set out - and always ready for diversions but never a shortcut. It works – as a hobby, anyways.

The lyf so short, the craft so longe to lerne. - Chaucer


As far as making a living, though, I think I might have unusually bad luck. I did sign with an agent, Sam David, recently to handle the coin part of major works. I just can’t do it anymore. Grappling over a hundred bucks for weeks is a really bad use of time. Even with an agent, I am still hustling for work, and still offering free scripts to students - where I see more direct benefits to both them and myself, as opposed to whomever jus’ cuz they asked. Still a pretty poor return on these, but as said, I learn something each time.

I do feel indebted to DVX for the doors that opened here (including the first seeds of my someday book), and have encouraged other writers to mingle here. And be willing to eat dirt for as long as it takes to get a varied body of work together and presentable. DO NOT REST even one day. The long haul isn’t for everyone, and over the years I have seen so, so many ‘writers’ come and go. They burst onto the scene full of enthusiasm – and many with fistfulls of arrogance – then quickly fade away. They were either pummelled into misery by other writers, or just didn’t have all that is needed for the very long road. I’m not saying freak accidents don’t occur. They do. One or two scripts in the right place at the right time and bingo, they're in. Connections, timing, the right script for the right filmmaker – whatever the cosmos had going that particular day. But it is a freak accident and by no means should be relied on. Ever.

Does that answer your question? If not, go back and read the first line :)
 
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Yes, it does answer my question(s), and Alex, it is far more comprehensive than I ever hoped for in my wildest dreams. I am truly honored that you took out the time to post such a thoughtful essay about this vital part of your life experience. It's a lot of material to digest, and think about, and it would be pointless for me to react without giving it the time to properly absorb. In any case, my reaction here is not the point, as what you wrote is a testimony to the life you have lived and your thoughts on the subject - I can only thank you for giving us the benefit of a lived experience of so many years. I just hope that if there was any tiny positive for you, in exchange for your time in writing this essay, is that maybe it gave you yet another opportunity to ponder the bigger picture of your adventure in this trade.

There are a lot of lessons - some very explicitly labeled as such by you - to be learned from your post here, one only wonders if we are actually in a position to assimilate some of them; one sober conclusion I'm increasingly leaning to, is that there is something of a catch 22 with receiving advice - the recipient may simply not be in a psychological or intellectual position to benefit from the advice until they themselves have discovered the truth of the advice through their own lived experience, which of course bypasses the benefits of having the advice given to you ahead of time.

Thank you again, Alex!
 
Alex, I also was glad to read this recounting. Another guy whose scripts I've read and liked is insistent on things going through his manager, and I can tell you from dealing with that manager that the guy might as well be paying someone to actively sabotage his writing career. Inept and unresponsive is putting it mildly.

You're correct in doing for yourself what you can, at least until it's clear to a great manager that he should be putting forth a great effort for you. Keep up the good work!
 
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I watched Voobij. That is a really well done short. Congrats on the script and on getting it produced so well. I read your post. I think it's great to see someone writing screenplays to get them shot! What a great concept.
 
hscully said:
I think it's great to see someone writing screenplays to get them shot! What a great concept.
Click to expand...

Yes, original thinking !


By the way, Voorbij was originally titled 'Ten Years', and was picked up by a film student a few years prior to Voorbij. I was sure to keep the rights on that one, and the folks at Elbe Steven knew it had been previously filmed. Since it was a student project, they were cool with it. As Old Corpse mentioned, there can be a range of filmmakers that one works with. I did learn early on that how one interprets any given screenplay is really their own mark on the process and finished film (product). What do they feel is vital to the story, and what can go without sacrificing it? What can they add, and from what angles do they feel best show the interactions, and best establish place and time?

The setting alone for these two versions speaks volumes about the charcters in them, and frames an overall tone for the events and style. Never underestimate the importance of your locations.


Here is the original version ...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0M8DFKtWnQ

And Elbe Steven's take ...

http://www.elbestevens.nl/movies/released/voorbij/


Same screenplay, very different films. There are many factors at play here, of course, from experience to funds, access to actors and locations, time for planning, etc. And by no means do I want to diminsh what Xueche Guo accomplished. That is not the purpose of this post. She made a solid effort on her very first film, and moreover, she actually finished it, which is less common than one might think. Film schools must be positively littered with unfinished projects.

The point of the post is to compare how two filmmakers interpret the same screenplay. I think it is recognizable - production qualities aside. Seems the idea of a film fest with all entrants using the same screenplay has been suggeted here before, if not multiple times. The challenge, though, would be to have a screenplay easy enough for a range of filmmakers to tackle, and interesting enough to engage both production and audience. That's a hard sell.

I do want to acknowledge that Voorbij did have some additional material added, as well as translations and dialogue help. Deserved credits.

[TABLE="class: simpleTable simpleCreditsTable"]
[TR]
[TD="class: name"]Karin Jessica Jansen[/TD]
[TD]...[/TD]
[TD="class: credit"](dialogue)[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD="class: name"]Jascha Neutelings[/TD]
[TD]...[/TD]
[TD="class: credit"](additional material)[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD="class: name"]Elbe Stevens[/TD]
[TD]...[/TD]
[TD="class: credit"](additional material)[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD="class: name"]Alex Whitmer[/TD]
[TD]...[/TD]
[TD="class: credit"](screenplay)[/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]

This is all part of the collabortive nature of film. When it works, it's heaven.
 
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OldCorpse said:
Yes, it does answer my question(s), and Alex, it is far more comprehensive than I ever hoped for in my wildest dreams. I am truly honored that you took out the time to post such a thoughtful essay about this vital part of your life experience. It's a lot of material to digest, and think about, and it would be pointless for me to react without giving it the time to properly absorb. In any case, my reaction here is not the point, as what you wrote is a testimony to the life you have lived and your thoughts on the subject - I can only thank you for giving us the benefit of a lived experience of so many years. I just hope that if there was any tiny positive for you, in exchange for your time in writing this essay, is that maybe it gave you yet another opportunity to ponder the bigger picture of your adventure in this trade.

There are a lot of lessons - some very explicitly labeled as such by you - to be learned from your post here, one only wonders if we are actually in a position to assimilate some of them; one sober conclusion I'm increasingly leaning to, is that there is something of a catch 22 with receiving advice - the recipient may simply not be in a psychological or intellectual position to benefit from the advice until they themselves have discovered the truth of the advice through their own lived experience, which of course bypasses the benefits of having the advice given to you ahead of time.

Thank you again, Alex!
Click to expand...

Well, I'm glad this was useful. It was a nice chance to reflect, yes. I will likely add some bits and pieces.


Advice is an animal unto itself to be sure, and I certainly never want to come across as authoritive with the 'ol 'Let me give you some advice.' One can only relate their own experience and choices made, and if that so-called path works for others, then great. I think I got a grand total of 2 writers to come here (DVX) from one of the writer forums, and both went on to make films. The others (several) chose to stick with what they know. That's a valid choice, and I'm not knocking it. - I had PMd writers whose work I thought was clever enough and polished enough - or their heart was in deep enough - to give it a try. As mentioned in the epic post above, I do think many writers are frightened of being produced. That or they are so full of self-doubt, that they are all but paralyzed. For some of them it is just good 'ol fashioned arrogance, and a refusal to give up control of every comma and period and parenthetical. I learned that many writers are confident in their work, but more than just uneasy of seeing it put into production.

Some time ago the DVX film and script fests were really rockin', and there were so many opportunities to write. What I liked most was writing for themes I would likely have not done on my own, or without the challenge. Not everything made it into the film fests, but the writing was fun. Some of the material was later picked up and eventually produced outside DVX.

The Poacher, The Sinner, and No rest for The Wicked all came from scripts written for West Fest. Harrison's Closet and Voorbij came from scripts originally written for fests, as did Pupae, Onus, Early to Bed, Blue, and October Tea. There's probably a few more, and still several that have not been picked up, or are somewhere out there in development. I think the old fests were exciting times, and I know I'm not the only one whose skills were honed by participating. I am more than thankful that I was in the right place at the right time.

The Poacher, by the way, went on to be expanded into a TV pilot, then into a feature screenplay, and is now in development as a TV series based on the feature screenplay, which came out much stronger than the original pilot. Funny the journey some scipts take.

https://alexmwhitmer.wordpress.com/my-films-the-poacher/


Loss Fest, West Fest and so many others - some really great films from the DVX community came out of these, and some great, great scripts by the writers in both the film and script fests. My point is, is that it's kinda hard to encourage writers to come over here these days because the whole energy of the fests, and the opportunities (excuses) to write just aren't there. I have very high hopes for Zombie Fest.

a
 
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charliemcdanger said:
I just clicked over to your site and watched Voorbij. That is shot gorgeously
Click to expand...

A few of you have commented on it. I couldn't be happier with the film. Precious few get to this overall quality.

“Een commissie filmprofessionals verkoos ‘Voorbij’ tot één van de beste Nederlandse films van afgelopen jaar”(A committee of film professionals chose ‘Beyond’ (Voorbij) as one of the best Dutch films of last year)
​


I would encourage you to watch the trailer for Gift as well. Michael Curtis did an outstanding job with it. I think there is talk of distribution, so the film is not avail for the time being. Tremendous job by the young actors, and a smokin' production.

http://giftshortfilm.com/trailers/


Another fave that for some reason is still languishing in post is Harrison's Closet. These guys went all out on production. I have never seen the film, and have only the grabs and some footage to go on, but it's clear enough this will be stunning.

This is another script that was filmed twice. The original died in post for unknown reasons. I have some grabs, but nothing else. Happens.

Footage in the first 1:37 of Christopher Barret's reel ...

https://vimeo.com/60301733


Again, when the simbiosis comes together, the results make it all worth it.

It doesn't always go as hoped. Pupae, which took first place waaaay back in the DVXuser SciFi Script fest, was picked up and put into production, but was unable to be finished. Someday, hopefully. Some things are just out of everybody's hands. The overall feel in the test footage had serious promise.

https://vimeo.com/108550283
https://vimeo.com/36994437
https://vimeo.com/37093112

http://www.motionartfilms.com/index.php?file=playCinema_INLINE.htm


I'd sum up screenwriting as a delicate balance between uphoria and heartbreak. Thankfully there is plenty of Zinfandel to deal with both.

a
 
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Gun Baby found a home :)

Still a few more. Love, love, love to find a great home for 'Four Walls and a Window'.


This is a story about a young woman who suffers a trauma she blames herself for, and she's taking her life and marriage down with it. Her whole world is reduced to one room with one window. Her unlikely savior was fortold just minutes before the tragedy. When someone saves you, you repay in kind.

Written looooow budget with emphasis on characters. Good story for directors and cinemtographers as well. High emotion, physical, some dance experience required for the lead. 21 pages.



Written in collaboration with Joe Saba.
 
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