Short Scene

avatuar

avatuar

Well-known member
This is a small test to se how well I could shoot dialogue with one camera. The script is from my feature which in this scene a nerd gets brought into the FBI to train to be a ladies man. We didn't have time to get an insert shot of the book so here's the cover.
pimpbook.jpg


TURN YOUR VOLUME UP! PRESS FULL SCREEN TOO. we used an external mic but I didn't use my preamp=(

BANDWIDTH EXCEEDED, REDIRECTING....
 
Shotgun Mic, learn it, live it, love it.

Seriously, I had my volume up all the way and was still struggling to hear the dialogue.

As for the footage, I thought the shots of the nerd were better composed and lit. The shots of the FBI guy seemed a little washed out.

Chris
 
yeah this was lit and shot in 25 minutes I had to be somewhere. Plenty of stuff I'd do diffrentley. I need to reconfigure my monitor. How was the acting, dialogue?
 
I think the nerd guy was overall more beliavable. Also, I think the shot-reverse shot was out of balance in terms of composition. The over the soulder shots of the nerd were better composed, IMO, than the reverse, which had too much empty space on the left, and were wider than the former.

Yeah - better sound would help. The nerd shots were lit quite well, I think
 
I hope this doesn't seem harsh (but you asked), the acting is okay, although the FBI guy seems miscast, he doesn't look like FBI to me (but what do I know).

As for the dialogue, I imagine this film is supposed to be a comedy, but there weren't any funny lines. It wasn't awful or anything, it just didn't seem to have much style. Does that make sense?

Chris
 
thank you, yes it is a comedy/drama. There is a funny line in there when the nerd asked if he was on punked, but overall the scene is supposed to distribute a sense of distress that the nerd does not want to do what is being asked of him. MORE PLEASE!!!!!
 
I'll just echo what the others said about framing needing to match better when doing dialogue cutaways. Also, the exposure on the agent cutaway is dark, yet also not properly exposed at the same time. Like you left it too dark in production, then flattened it in post?

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Ya it was dark I did no post CC to this either. I was using a improperly adjusted monitor that was showing me it brighter than it really was. oh well, not going to use this anyway. I mean if you look closley enough you can see half of the mic coming in to frame LOL. I just wanted to see how well the actors could act and how well I could peice the two cuts together.
 
I mean this only a spirit of honesty, because not hearing what's wrong with something for the sake of politeness doesn't help you at all. So please, don't be offended, because I don't mean it that way.

The dialogue was pretty bad, and it was mostly delivered like the actors hadn't learned it very well. The "FBI agent" was totally wrong for the part; he looked and acted like most of my little sister's punk boyfriends who couldn't successfully investigate the location of tacky floor mats at Autozone.

IMO, the premise *will not* cut it as a "comedy/drama," which would imply some kind of realistic setting. At best, it's suited for screwball comedy, where the outlandish is OK (like either of these guys cutting it in the FBI). But in that vein, you need more . . . comedy.

I realize the scene is out of context, but are they in some hotel's complimentary conference room? I don't buy the setting.

The nerdy kid looked like he'd do OK once he learned his lines. But really, recast the other guy. Tough talk from Shaggy intimidates no one.

Again, this is not to discourage or to slam, and it's just my opinion. It takes guts to put it out there for people to judge, so good job.
 
LOL Thank you Jubal!!!! Finally some real honest people coming out of the woodwork! Yes the actors had 5-10 minutes to rehearse and 15 min to shoot both scenes. The setting was my dining room=P And I'm not sure what to do with the FBI guy he is a good friend. But if you guys saw my "Mocking Film" post the first guy you see is the one I am think for his replacement. The scene makes complete sense in the storyline which im trying so hard to keep under wraps right now. But yes people you can be completely honest with avatuar. I need this from you professionals!
 
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