Short film ''the basement dweller''

Haha, I don't get it at all cause I can't read... dutch? german? But there were some VERY filmic shots in there. I think the opening drew out a little too long, of him wasting the day away. It works to set up what he did was just something to kill time as well, but you probably could have shaved some time off of him doing the other stuff. I would say there were also a few shots that were a little too yellow, mainly the one where he answers the door... it kinda works but its just a really ugly yellow. But yeah, the parts of the story I did understand I think were great, but could use a little trim. Other than that, pretty fun to watch. Hopefully some others will take some time from pixel peeping to comment on an actual film, not a test!
 
Congrats on the win, Hoetsie! And it's really nice to see something other than a test video. You did a great job of taking the limited number of performers and locations that many of us low-budget folks are stuck with and making it feel like a much larger story.

The main thing that jumped out at me for a slight improvement was that, when the guy in the Guy Fawkes mask showed up at the door, it should have been night or the light could have been blown out around him. The guy in the mask is never as jarring in normal daylight.
 
Very nice!

I really like your dolly and tracking moves as well as your well defined framing and pacing in the start.... my critique would be that it feels like it gets a little weak and repetitive and looses something right when you cut to the clock passing over him to show time passing. Don't like that frame or sequence.. and the music starts to get a bit tedious after a while...
You then bring it back a bit at the end.

So I would say work up and maybe tighten up the middle a bit more, and jump a little bit faster to the quicker pacing of the end...

Big fan of anonymous.. love those guys, whoever they are.
 
This was a really good short film that kept me at the edge of my seat. Although I have to agree with the above criticism to some extent. Some parts of it felt to dragged out, but it did work to convey the feelings and the plot. You could have also lowered the ugly yellow in some of the shots like with the phone call or when the main character answered the door.
 
hoetsie said:
check out my new short film, shot with a hacked gh1.
and maybe give me some tips about how i can improve my filming

http://vimeo.com/19667799

grtz


jeroen
Click to expand...

Looked pretty good. My only technical comment about some of the shots is the yellow cast from the tungsten lighting...

In terms of 'story', what I didn't get was the ending with the guy with a box... and the message that the site was off line for updating, at least what I could intuit by guessing... I read German and can sometimes guess at Dutch...

I think it could have ended with Mr. Remember, remember the 5th of November...
 
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