Short Film "Lunchbreak"
- Thread starter raddrew11
- Start date
Robbie Comeau
Como's back. back again
Why did he just walk out at the end?
Michael Anthony Horrigan
More Cowbell Pictures
SPOILERS:
I think he was in shock. He just shot and killed her husband in self-defense from what I gathered.
Pretty good. The quality of the image could be a bit better, but I think it's the compression, not how you shot it. The blood looked a bit fake as well.
Other than that... great work. You created a really good mood and the acting was pretty good as well.
Cheers,
Mike
I think he was in shock. He just shot and killed her husband in self-defense from what I gathered.
Pretty good. The quality of the image could be a bit better, but I think it's the compression, not how you shot it. The blood looked a bit fake as well.
Other than that... great work. You created a really good mood and the acting was pretty good as well.
Cheers,
Mike
UncleBenji1977
Well-known member
Nice... I would have worked the CC a little more.. but it's more of a taste issue than anything else. Nicely done.
djdougyfrsh
Active member
I have a couple of suggestions for your direction, because while your image looks fantastic, the performances, for me, were somewhat lacking.
-These people never even looked like they wanted to do this, have this affair- they weren't happy, seductive, or even remotely excited. People who are about to have sex, after resisting for awhile (he says something like "this is our first time") would be stoked to finally be gettin together. I believe this is a result of these two actors not being comfortable with one another. Do some simple intimacy exercises and send them on a date or two, to get them more at ease with one another. I like to send my actors to a dance class- it get them close, and in rhythm.
Second is your third act: If this woman just got busted by her husband, you have to go through, in your mind, how she would react. Now whether you had gone over this with the actress and she wasn't getting it, is another case, but for me she reacted way to calm and composed. Her husband just THREW her out of the door after she was just caught in a hotel room with another man. She just takes it. No way- she would be distraught, confused, and paniced.
And in the same scene her husband runs in, throws her out and then just stands there in the dudes face. Again, no way. He would be enraged, throwing insults and fists. They both just stand there, about an inch from eachother waltzing in place. The other dude should try to talk him down, make excuses, do something besides stand there. Its very anti-climactic.
Even if you had approached it any a complete opposite method- the husband comes in totally calm, too calm, and totally spooky. He sends his wife out, and she sheepishly obeys, the other dude has no idea how to react. That would have played better. But right now their reactions, acting, is way too "middle"- they aren't here or there. They have no business to keep them occupied and in the scene, to keep their minds off the fact they are acting.
Its a solid base, and some things were done very well. Overall good job. I hope these suggestions help in the future.
douglas.
-These people never even looked like they wanted to do this, have this affair- they weren't happy, seductive, or even remotely excited. People who are about to have sex, after resisting for awhile (he says something like "this is our first time") would be stoked to finally be gettin together. I believe this is a result of these two actors not being comfortable with one another. Do some simple intimacy exercises and send them on a date or two, to get them more at ease with one another. I like to send my actors to a dance class- it get them close, and in rhythm.
Second is your third act: If this woman just got busted by her husband, you have to go through, in your mind, how she would react. Now whether you had gone over this with the actress and she wasn't getting it, is another case, but for me she reacted way to calm and composed. Her husband just THREW her out of the door after she was just caught in a hotel room with another man. She just takes it. No way- she would be distraught, confused, and paniced.
And in the same scene her husband runs in, throws her out and then just stands there in the dudes face. Again, no way. He would be enraged, throwing insults and fists. They both just stand there, about an inch from eachother waltzing in place. The other dude should try to talk him down, make excuses, do something besides stand there. Its very anti-climactic.
Even if you had approached it any a complete opposite method- the husband comes in totally calm, too calm, and totally spooky. He sends his wife out, and she sheepishly obeys, the other dude has no idea how to react. That would have played better. But right now their reactions, acting, is way too "middle"- they aren't here or there. They have no business to keep them occupied and in the scene, to keep their minds off the fact they are acting.
Its a solid base, and some things were done very well. Overall good job. I hope these suggestions help in the future.
douglas.
He says "you act like this is our first time" meaning they've been doing it for a while. So its not that theyve been holding off this steamy thing for a long time and finally giving in for the first time.
Agree her performance at the end was a bit tentative, though. Also lots of back to camera here ... compensation for the tenativeness maybe?
I liked the look a lot and I appreciated the contrast in the indoor and outdoor looks. Nice job. Gonna check out some of the other stuff on your website later.
