short film and music video online

Y

ypc1200

Member
Hello everyone,

First off this site has been very helpful and I'm very glad I found it.

I have recently finished a 13 minute ummmm...comedy called "Once Or Twice" and a music video for the band Know Lyfe for a song called "Escopia".  Both projects were shot on my DVX100A with a few shots in the music video coming from a DVX100.

Both videos are available to stream or download from my website http://www.abstrusefilms.com

(check in the "streaming videos" section)

I have both projects up there in a few different sizes for people with different internet connections.

Feedback (mainly about cinematography) is greatly encouraged.  Hope you enjoy them.  :)
 
Re: short film and music video online

"Escopia" - Well done and perfect for the style of music. Nice stuff all around.

"Once or Twice" - IMO I felt the language, the visuals, the acting, and editing all missed their mark. I did stand-up for 6 years and recently wrote a comedy book, the most important thing about comedy is timing and subtleties (a giant hammer smashing a watermelon helps too) ;)   "I don't want to see that mother f**ker again! ...Is he f**king mom?"  Come on, did a 7th grader write that?  And the next scene (sex on the bed) just left me confused (as I often am after sex).  I don't want to sound like a jerk, but each scene felt like a looooong joke that built up to a predictable punchline.

You've got the equipment and abilities to shoot and edit, but I suggest spending more time on the script. If people don't laugh when they read it, then there's a good chance they won't laugh when they see it. And you don't need gratuitous sex and 4-letter words to make something funny.  It's typically the first clue "Something might be rotten in Denmark."  I made a full length comedy 7 years ago (a Spinaltap-ish mockumentary) and it didn't have a single bad word. There were 1 or 2 (for ammo) but we BLEEP'd them out and the bleeps got some of the biggest laughs. If you have 4-letter words, every other word, then you use up all your ammo.

The great thing about this forum is people tell it how they see it. What you do with this criticism is up to you. After all, the important thing is you make the movies you want to make. So if you and your friends like it and had fun making it then that's all that really matters.

P.K. Gillock

P.S. Sorry, you wanted feedback on cinematography and I focused more on the story-telling. DP is not my field.
 
Re: short film and music video online

Dude it's totally cool. I think of myself much more as a cinematographer than a writer or director and really just wrote something that I wanted to shoot and I thought would be fun to shoot (and it was). When you say you didn't like the "visuals" of the movie I'm assuming you just meant the content of the shots as compared to the cinematography which you mentioned was not your expertise.

Anyways...if anyone else is offended by bad words and sexual content than I guess just check out the music video.

Peace.
 
Re: short film and music video online

I watched 23.5 MB Once or Twice. Some of the camera moves were nice -- did you use a crane by the tracks? At moments, it reminded me of a Larry Clark film, but the cartoon sound effects and slapstick stuff always snapped me out of it.
 
Re: short film and music video online

I watched it with the no sound, which since u say you want comments on cinematography, i felts that was ok.

First of all, it screams "I have a steadycam!" lol, basically, what i mean is it looks like you spent more time getting smooth moves than thinking about composition and what cuts together well. Also, it doesn't look like u lit it at all. If you wanna be a DP, THAT'S what you need to know, how to light things magnificently. Right now, i might hire u to operate the steady cam.

Did u board this first? if not, u might wanna try that, see if it helps both ur comps and ur editing. Other than that u really need to learn how to light like a pro, that's what a DP does.

Nice experiment though, and those moves were really smooooooth!
 
Re: short film and music video online

I like the music video alot better, but again, its all about lighting. The video had more lighting (all the DJ lighting), but it still looked really video-y.
 
Re: short film and music video online

Once or Twice: Yeah, it looks thrown together, dialogue is horrible, story is a joke...but we've all had our moments on some slow weekend when you're thinking, "**** I just want go out and shoot stuff." So, you get your friends together and just have some fun. It's also a good excuse to get your girlfriends to take their clothes off. It's all good. But that's eventually how you become a good shooter...you simply go out and shoot more and more stuff. I can definitely tell that you're at least trying to think more complexly about shots, even if it's also easy to tell that you don't have a lot of experience...yet.

Escopia: Much better camera work (maybe helped out by the fact that nothing was longer than a couple of seconds). You've got a lot of camera movement, and it looked really good...although it quickly turned into repetative movement, each shot looking like the one before it, you know each pan being this 45 degree downangle. The editing felt like a slideshow in the beginning, not enough variation in the cutaways to the other shots. The camera work with the old man was by far your best looking stuff, much more watchable than anything else, better compositions, etc. Incidently, I liked it when he was just this angry old man walking down the street, pushing people out his way. Sweet.
 
Re: short film and music video online

Gabe,

I used a jib arm made by Glidecam called the Camcrane 200 (for several shots by the train tracks) and I used a steadicam that my friend built from plans I found online for several other shots. As far as the sound design I figured since it was a cheesy little sex comedy film that the sound designer and I would just make the sound design silly as well since it's all just for fun and experience.

Cheesesailor,

Appreciate the comments. I did storyboard it out but this was the first time I've storyboarded anything out other than commercials. Some people find it interesting that I storyboarded something out involving people having sex while I was in between commercial shoots at the NBC affiliate TV station I work at. As far as lighting I know I need work and it was dissapointing that the gaffer that was supposed to help me backed out at the last minute. I pretty much became the gaffer in addition to the producer, director, and DP while shooting after planning on him being the gaffer for weeks beforehand.

Everyone,

This was my first time writing, storyboarding, producing, directing, DPing, lighting or editing a film and I know I have a ways to go before I do anything more serious but your comments all help.
 
Re: short film and music video online

lol sry about the tough love, but ppl here try to be as honest as possible without becomin discouraging.

Keep posting ;D
 
Re: short film and music video online

That's right, it's tough love.

If you want "rough love" come and see me. ;)
 
Re: short film and music video online

i just also want to mention, if this is your first film, its a great start. It sounded like u had other projects under your belt, but for a first timer it was really good. Now ofcourse im comparing it to most ppls first trys, which are almost always absolute crap, and usually just unwatchable, but i can say with confidence, ur leaps and bounds past absolute unwatchable crap. ;D
 
Re: short film and music video online

[quote author=ypc1200 link=board=Clips;num=1101909308;start=0#7 date=12/06/04 at 09:14:12]Gabe,

I used a jib arm made by Glidecam called the Camcrane 200 (for several shots by the train tracks) and I used a steadicam that my friend built from plans I found online for several other shots.[/quote]

Do you have a link for the steadicam you built -- what was the experience  building/using it?

I recently borrowed a Steadicam 2000 pro from a friend and gave up on it after I spent four hours trying to balance the f@*king thing.
 
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